Life in progress


One-Liner Wednesday – “Take a break,” they said.

When I remembered I hadn’t scheduled my One-Liner Wednesday, I was watching the clock tick over from 1:19am to 1:20. I felt guilty for about five minutes, and I actually considered getting up and doing it, even though my alarm was set for three hours and forty minutes from then. Then it came to me … what everyone has been telling me: “Give yourself a break.” So I went to sleep.

Still, sorry I’m late.


If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


216. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, April 4th, 4:00 7:00pm

Maurice (and Stuart)


(Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.)

Maurice: Well, hello there.

Stuart: Don’t ask.

Maurice: Okay then.

Stuart: Okay, fine. I’m late because of a power outage.

Maurice: That’s understandable. At least it didn’t have anything to do with the cat this time.

Stuart: You would think so, wouldn’t you.

Maurice: But … you sent the cat to the pound.

Stuart: The cat came back.

Maurice: The very next day?

Stuart: Yep. The old lady went and picked it up.

Maurice: How did she know where it was?

Stuart: She says it sent for her in a dream. That the cat’s her familiar or something.

Maurice: Wow. So how did the cat have anything to do with the power outage?

Stuart: (shakes his head) You’re going to think this is crazy.

Maurice: Try me.

Stuart: The old lady says the cat conjured the wind storm that felled the tree branch that knocked out the power. And get this: all because it wanted me to talk about it.

Maurice: You’re right. That’s crazy. …wait, you don’t believe it, do you?

Stuart: Have you got a better explanation for this weather?

Maurice: Nope.

Stuart: There you go then.


Next stop: Thursday, April 5th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


176. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, February 23rd, 7:00 10:10pm
Maurice and Stuart


Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.

Maurice: Hey! What happened to you? You’re really late tonight.

Stuart: (nods) You remember that old lady who lives with me?

Maurice: Yeah. Is she okay?

Stuart: Oh yeah. We got into a rousing game of Monopoly.

Maurice: I don’t think I’ve ever heard the words “rousing” and “Monopoly” used in the same sentence before.

Stuart: You haven’t met this lady. It all came down to her having hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk, and me with hotels on everything else, and she still won.

Maurice: Wow. The odds are incredible.

Stuart: Not really. Just as I was about to win, the dog and the cat flew across the board, chasing each other, and we lost everything. Had to start over again.

Maurice: Seriously? You must have already been playing for a while if you had all those properties. No wonder you’re late.

Stuart: Oh, no. That’s not why I’m late. The cat got out as I was walking out the door. I had to chase it around the neighbourhood.

Maurice: Oh man. How did you catch it?

Stuart: It got wet.

Maurice: Outside? In this weather?

Stuart: Kid saw me chasing it and squirted the thing with a squirt gun, thinking it was a rat.

Maurice: That’s right. It’s bald on account of the old lady’s allergies. But that doesn’t explain how you caught it.

Stuart: Sure it does. It brushed up against a fence post and got stuck. I’ve spent the last two hours figuring out how to heat up a fence post to get the cat off it.

Maurice: (looking confused) So, how does that have anything to do with the Monopoly game?

Stuart: (shrugs) It doesn’t.


Next stop: Saturday, February 24th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


One-Liner Wednesday – Among ‘Things I’m Glad I Didn’t Learn the Hard Way’

“Since Alex was born with a hole in his heart; there’s a good reason they didn’t fix it, I’d like the dentist to start giving him antibiotics before his visits: if a bacteria gets in when his gums bleed, the infection can go straight through his bloodstream to his brain.” ~ My son’s pediatric cardiologist, today.