Life in progress


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How to Live When You Want to Save the World

I’m at a loss. The constant flood of news stories coming in through my Facebook feed about discrimination, hate, fear, war and people fleeing from it, protests that go nowhere, threats to freedom and civil liberties–the list goes on and on–are keeping me from living my own life. It distracts me from all the things I should be doing for myself and my family. I’m not functioning because I’m worried, both about my own future, my kids’ future, and that of the ones I can’t help.

Yes, I can hear it already. Poor me, sitting on my privileged white heterosexual ass in a nice warm house, wringing my hands but doing nothing. It’s true. I don’t feel as though I do enough, yet what can I do when I’m shut in my house up here in Canada? I want to help. I want that more than anything. It’s why I’m so obsessed with what’s going on. So far I’ve shared, I’ve given my opinions and I’ve tried to make sense of what’s going on. I’ve tried to help others put it in perspective. To encourage them to do what they can. I write because my words are the best weapon I have. I give consolation when I’m able, but to what effect? It all inevitably falls flat because I am not living it.

On the contrary, I’m not looking to be absolved for having a good life and I don’t want anyone to tell me it’s okay, that I can just go on with my life and not think about what’s going on in the world. I know I need to look after myself. I’m just not sure how to go about it.

I don’t think I’m alone in this. I’m sure there are others out there who live with this worry, and this survivor’s guilt and sense of helplessness. How do you cope when there’s nothing you can physically do? How do you separate yourself from it all, to do what you must to live your own life? We don’t help anyone, least of all ourselves, when all we do is sit at home and read the reports and wring our hands.

I fear this is the way it will be for the rest of my life. I can’t save the world, and I certainly can’t shut it off and ignore it. Perhaps I need to take a break from it though. At least long enough to care for my own family.

But I’ll never stop asking why peace is too much to ask for.


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For You, For Us, For Humanity. Please Share

On this, November 11th, the day we remember the people who have given their lives  for their countries, I find the disparity between the ultimate in self-sacrifice and the continuing reports of disrespect and lack of empathy discouraging. I had a discussion on Facebook this morning with a man who told me that his daughter-in-law had been verbally accosted in a store while holding her 18-month-old child; there are so very many reports such as this and even worse coming in, it almost makes me want to hide. But I won’t, because there is something I can do.

For all the people who lack empathy in the world, I believe there are more who understand that we all have our struggles. And whether we deem them bigger than ours or not, a struggle is a struggle. An exhausted single mother washing her own dishes in an effort to control something, a rich man wanting to protect his children from bullying, the only true perspective is in the circumstances of the individual.

Let us show that there are more of us who care. That there are greater numbers of those who would rather give than receive. I challenge you today and every day to show love and kindness to a stranger. Find a way to go out of your way to help. Even a smile could make a difference in someone’s life, but especially now. Especially today, when we face the very real imbalance between selflessness and hate.

Please share this. We may not have the power to fix the world, but we possess the ability to communicate. And with this amazing means, we can help make the world a better place to live. Let this go viral. At this point I don’t even care if you copy and paste these words and pretend you wrote them yourself. What is important is that we can make a difference for the good of humanity.

For you, and for all of us.


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I’m out

I’m out. Of money, that is. It’s official. I went to the grocery store today to pick up some essentials and I got the dreaded “Insufficient Funds” screen on the debit machine. Though it’s killing me to do so, I’d like to ask a favour.

If you haven’t already, please buy my book. If you have, or if you have a friend who might like it, please direct them to it. Reblog, share on social media, have a parade down the main street of your town or city, whatever it is you normally do to get attention. If I can get to $100 in royalties, Amazon will pay me next month – they hold smaller amounts.

If you know me, you know I never ask for anything. I hate asking for anything. Please, just share this post. And if you have 99¢ and want to read a really funny book, please click on one of the links below.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Linda

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Find All Good Stories on
Amazon.com (U.S.A.) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01JQWMQAE
Amazon.ca (Canada) https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01JQWMQAE
Amazon.co.uk (United Kingdom) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01JQWMQAE
Amazon.com.au (Australia) https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B01JQWMQAE
and on Amazon, in English, almost everywhere else in the world, as well as
Kobo https://store.kobobooks.com/en-ca/ebook/all-good-stories


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Stepping Back

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I’m tired. Not just from lack of sleep (though there is that) but because of the news. I’ve never paid much attention to what goes on in the USA except for the past few months. It is, of course, due to the Great Orange Threat. I find myself obsessed not only with what it spews but the reactions to what it spews as well, until I find myself mired in so much rhetoric that it leaves me distracted, miserable, and unable to create. A death knoll for someone like me.

My enabler is Facebook, that bottomless pit of drive-thru opinions and baseless regurgitation we all know and despise. So I’ve decided to walk away from it for a while. My posts from WordPress will continue to automatically post to my author page, but I won’t be around to comment. I’m giving it a week, if I’m strong enough. I’ll try to finish as many of the Scrabble games that I have going tonight, and that’ll be it. I’m pulling the plug.

It will be an experiment. To see how much more I get done; to spend the time I would have wasted scanning my newsfeed to write, edit, read books, read blogs, play with my family, exercise, and spend time in the place where I took the picture above. As I sat there this morning, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much we take for granted. That there will always be places like this. There won’t, unless we start doing something about changing our attitudes and caring about everyone and everything. Without exception.

I need to step back from the rhetoric and find out how I can make a difference, no matter how small. Do you know the definition of the word “rhetoric”? It is the art of effective or persuasive speaking or writing ~ Google. I find it necessary to stop listening to all the voices telling me how to go about doing what’s best for me. And especially, I have to stop watching what I have no power to control. I realize I must decide what is best for me, for my family, for the city I live in, for my country, and for my planet all by myself. Only then can I act. Facebook, for me, has become a means to pointless, futile worry. We’ll see what a week teaches me. Will it kill me? I’ll get back to you on it.


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The Social Repercussions of Writing vs Speaking

It started with an appointment. My son’s behavioral specialist was to go his school to talk to the teacher to observe him on Tuesday, and then come to see me today. On Tuesday afternoon I received a note from the teacher to say the specialist had canceled due to the flu. I, therefore, assumed she wouldn’t be coming here either. Sure enough, I received a phone call this morning from the behavioral specialist’s office. What happened during that phone call is what’s has me… worried? I wouldn’t go that far: thoughtful, perhaps, ever since.

The nice lady who called me only wanted to let me know my appointment was canceled and would be rescheduled. In order to seem, I don’t know, friendly, or sociable, I felt the need to explain that I already knew the behavioral specialist was sick, since she’d canceled Tuesday’s appointment. But even while I was explaining this, my inner editor was screaming at me, “This is not important to the plot! She doesn’t need to know! She’s probably got a dozen more phone calls to make – let her go!” It’s this conciseness with which I feel the need to write, that makes me wonder what it’s doing to me socially.

And isn’t that true for all of us, to some degree? Whether we’re trying to take shortcuts in speech (how many times have you heard someone utter “lol” out loud? Do you do it?) or cutting ourselves short, as I feel I should have done this morning, it has to be affecting the way we socialize. Writing has become the norm, and speech secondary. We spent far fewer hours with pen and keyboard even twenty years ago, unless it was part of our job, versus talking on the phone or in person. Now our lives are largely lived with the written word.

Writing has always been, in a practical way, different from speech. Drafting a formal letter, whether the recipient is a business associate or a lover, is done with care. Choosing the right words is essential to get the point across. With this in mind, are we bloggers actually better at speaking? Has the practice of finding the correct way to say things, and the editing that goes into many of our posts, improved our skills of communication across the board? And have Facebook and Twitter minimalized our speech to the bare necessities?

I have to wonder how we are evolving. And really, that’s what it is. An evolution of mankind who, at one time walked miles to convey a message, now looks no further than his pocket. We’re not quite to the point that our hands get more use than our tongues, but will we, one day, end up with wrists that bend in odd ways, and mouths that are used only to consume food? But I’m getting ahead of myself (and everyone else).

How we socialize with one another–how we communicate–cannot not be affected by what we spend three quarters of our time doing in order to communicate. Small talk is how we connect with one another. It’s how we discover our shared sentiments. It’s what we do on Facebook and Twitter, but without the human interaction–or at the very least it’s human interaction with a machine as a buffer. Will there come a day when we save our small talk only for such situations as taking pictures of our food on social media, and keep our direct interaction as a form of necessity? I think you really have only to look around a restaurant, or peer into people’s kitchens at dinner time these days for the answer.


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Just Jot It January 14th – Motivation

I’ve been thinking about the motivation to write. I’m not talking about fiction, necessarily, but that’s a big part of it that I’ll get to in a few minutes. My thoughts at the moment are more on writing about real life and the need to connect with others who might be going through the same things as I am. The desire to put it all out there to find out if I really am alone in my living room with my laptop. And I am alone. Alone with millions of other people, all of them doing the same thing I am. Being part of that crowd is motivating indeed.

But then, a couple of days ago I read an article about David Bowie. Only it isn’t really just about him. It’s about all of us. Every one of us on social media, whether a blog, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr… any of them. Whether you liked Bowie or not, you need to read this. I’ll give you a minute. Please come back when you’re finished.

http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/2016/01/david-bowies-dignified-death-is-a-reminder-of-the-sanctity-of-private-life/

Makes you think, doesn’t it?

We’re urged as writers to bleed on the page. That if we’re not bleeding – if we’re not putting everything we’ve got into what we write – then no one will be interested. But how much is too much? There are some who will tell us that there’s no such thing as too much. They are the ones who live off the angst of everyone else. I think of them as emotional vampires; they’ll say anything to get us to open up to them and say it’s for our own good. But they’ll never go out of their way to help. They’ll just motivate us…

What motivates you to write what you write? To share what you share? Has it changed since you started?

I understand how cathartic it can be to share a problem with the world, or go off on a rant when something is weighing heavily on the mind. I suppose the question comes down to how many details we give out. Its scary when we realise just how easy it is to give away our privacy. To box it up in a neat little package that is a simple post on social media and hand it to the entire world. In the past couple of weeks I’ve written 50-word stories on my fiction blog. Fifty words can say a lot. I even wonder sometimes how much of myself I’m giving away via fiction. To me it’s glaringly obvious what I’m imagining and what I’m bleeding; I can only hope it’s not as obvious to everyone else.

In the past I have tried to put a few filters on what I post. First and foremost, how does what I’m writing serve me? My reason for blogging of course is to have people read, so yes, I write what I think people will click on. When a post seems to be entirely self-serving (such as a rant) I feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I’ll post, sometimes it goes in the trash. If a post serves others, whether it’s a public service announcement, an example of what it’s like to parent a special needs child, or a prompt, I’m more likely to hit the publish button without thought for my privacy. On this blog I draw the line at the people in my life. I only write about what they willingly make public themselves. Even then I sometimes hesitate. There are people in my life I don’t talk about at all. Personally I have very little to hide about my life. Until I read the article, I didn’t even really think about discretion or, on the flipside, indiscretion. Now I wonder.

It’s contradictory that we’re so isolated and yet so out-in-the-open. We’re a society that no longer needs to go to a store to buy things, nor venture outside to talk to our neighbours, yet people half way around the planet can experience our lunch, our bowel movements, and if we wish to remain anonymous, even our sickest desires and without consequence.  But it all starts with one thing. Motivation.

I ask you again, what’s yours?

The “Motivation” prompt is brought to you by Aaron Elmore at the blog bearing his own name. If you don’t already follow him, please check him out!

JJJ 2016

To find the rules for Just Jot It January, click here and join in today. It’s never too late! And don’t forget to ping back your January 14th post here!


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Today’s News and What Social Media Finds Acceptable

I know I’m setting myself up for criticism here, but I just can’t not say anything. It’s been bugging me all day. I’ve accepted the fact that occasionally I’m stuck with coming across an image I don’t want to see on my Facebook news feed – sometimes it’s (in my opinion) poor judgement on the part of a ‘friend’ and sometimes (more often than not) it’s something that Facebook, in its infinite wisdom, has decided I want to see. But today takes the cake.

I am, of course, talking about pictures of beached babies. Isn’t it bad enough to hear about it? I have in fact NOT heard that much about it because I fear of the visuals I might come across online. Let me make this clear: I do not want to look at dead bodies. I don’t care how old they are, but particularly… I can’t even type it. It upsets me that much.

You might be thinking I’m burying my head in the sand, wishing it away to make it all better. I’m not. I acknowledge that innocent people die for many reasons all over the world every day. I’d save every one of them if I could.

You might also be thinking, “Oh poor Linda, not wanting to see things that hurt her poor feelings. How do you think the families feel?” Exactly! How would you feel if you accidentally came across a picture of a loved one, dead for all the world to see just so a point can be made? It’s not something I could ever forgive and certainly not something I’d ever forget.

If I’m missing something obvious to everyone else, please let me know. As I said, I haven’t heard the official story. It’s sad when it comes down to not knowing what’s going on because of the horribly bad taste of a photographer.

I have so had it with social media.


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One-Liner Wednesday – The Superpower We Didn’t Know We Have

Heard on the radio:
“I always wanted to be able to read minds; then I got a Facebook account and found out it’s annoying.”

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use the tag #1lineWed for more exposure.

Have fun!


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Social Media and Cover Art

It’s official – I think I’m everywhere now. I just signed up for a Pinterest account today. Since starting this blog, I’ve added my name to Tumblr, Goodreads and Twitter … times two.

I created my second Twitter account for my novel… which brings me to a request.

I will be looking, I suppose soon, for an artist to render the cover, assuming I go the self-publishing route. I need someone who can draw or paint a realistic portrait. The picture I have in mind is pasted across the header of my novel’s Twitter account, here: https://twitter.com/thegreatdagmaru (Feel free to follow me while you’re there. 😉 ) For two reasons I can’t use this actual picture: one, it’s not mine, and two, because there are changes I’d like to make to it. It really just gives a general idea.

Among a couple of other things, this is the photo that inspired the novel. In my mind, some rendition of it must go on the cover.

If you know anyone who might be qualified and interested in doing some cover artwork, please let me know in the comments. Again, not in my immediate plans, but I’ll certainly contact anyone who is recommended.

In the meantime, if anyone would kindly explain to me how any of the above social media sites actually work, I would be truly grateful. I have no clue what I’m doing anywhere but here on WordPress – and even that’s questionable.