Life in progress


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Life-Changing Entrances – Stream of Consciousness Saturday

You never know when you’re going to meet someone who will change your life forever. Be it by accident or by design, there are those whose actions will alter the course of our lives, or do it simply by existing.

For myself, I think the people who have changed my life the most drastically are my kids. I could have had no idea how much until I actually gave birth to them.

There are people who have passed through my life who have caused me to trust less, and those who have cemented my faith in humanity. I suppose one sort balances the other sort out.

My ex, with whom I had my children…

We met when we worked together many years before we actually began having a romantic relationship. We lost track of each other for six years – it didn’t really matter. We were barely friends at the start. Then one day I pulled into a gas station just to buy gas and there he was again, in a city hundreds of miles from where we first met. Some might say it was meant to be. I’m sure my kids would.

I never even liked children before I had my own. Yet now I would die for one, even if it was not mine. That’s what being a mother is about, I guess.

I wanted to say something about the fiction piece I’m going to post after I post this one, also for SoCS. It is entitled “Entranced” and it is metaphorical. There are people out there like the man you will meet in this particular piece of fiction. They are hard to spot. They are dangerous. http://lindaghillfiction.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/entranced-stream-of-consciousness-saturday-entrance/

And I’ve lost the train.

Who has changed your life just by walking into it? So many do, don’t they?

 

SoCS – This week’s prompt, “Entrance”. https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/05/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-1014/ 


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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for SoCS May 10/14

It’s that time of the week again! Time for your Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt! I’m excited – are you? Of course, you are going to join in this week, right? I’m not sure what inspired my prompt this week. Perhaps it’s Mother’s Day which is coming up on Sunday. Here it is:

This week your Prompt will be ‘entrance.’ As a noun or verb, literally or loosely, you choose how to write your post around the concept.

After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at the prompt page in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post.

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people will come and read your post! The way to ping back, is to just copy and paste the URL of my post somewhere on your post. Then your URL will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. For example, in your post you can copy and paste the following: This post is part of SoCS: https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/05/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-1014/  The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. Have fun!


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Nature

I wonder, sometimes, at the perfection of nature. How effortlessly it creates and destroys – how without discrimination it can ruin our lives. Yet who of us can say that we belong here?

blossoms

As I walk, I see what nature has made. A flower lives and dies, just like that. We build things and they disintegrate in the elements before our eyes. We are persistent, we humans. Aren’t we? Coming up with better ways to protect our properties, but in the end it’s always nature that takes it from us. Is it any wonder that our own nature is to destroy things?

vine

There is no material we can create that will not be foiled by nature… for if anything lasts beyond our existence on earth, nature will eventually destroy it, even if it takes the complete annihilation of the planet to do so.

What can we create that nature will not destroy? Where does our purity lie?

The answer must be in the things that we, like nature, create without effort. For some of us it’s music, or thoughts or words – ideas. If our nature is to create that which is beautiful, it is also ephemeral, as a flower.

We are born and we die. Like animals we have the innate will to survive; to perpetuate our species. We belong here every bit as much and as little as a flower. We are no better, and no worse. For even a weed can destroy concrete.

I can’t help but believe there is a great lesson to be learned from nature. The more effortlessly we live–the more we do what our true nature compels us to do–the more content we can be.

Nature doesn’t strive. It is.


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Leading With the Right

The good news is, I’m getting some editing done. I’m allowing my imagination to wander and I’m picking up on my character’s vibes; getting their words from their mouths to the page, as well as their actions and their thoughts. Spending some serious concentration on my novel is something I’ve been trying to do for a while, though it’s not likely to last into the weekend. Unfortunately, my ex crapped out on me yet again, so I have the kids. Again.

The bad news is, it seems that all I’ve been able to do for the last couple of days is be creative. So while my right brain takes the lead I haven’t been able to come up with anything to write about on my blog. I’m all kinds of imagination and no real life. It’s a good way to be – I think so anyway.

Still, in a way it’s frustrating. When I’m “in” my novel, I walk around the block on my paper route and I see nothing around me. The absence of photos these past few days (is it weeks already?) is proof. I go into this trance-like state, sometimes even walking right past the houses I’ve been delivering to for two and a half years now, and having to back-track. My family has to say things to me three times before I understand the words. Which is interesting to me, because according to the research I just did, the left brain (that I’m not using very much of these days) is responsible for words, among other things.

I suppose I should be pleased about this. In my experience it’s hard to get to the point I’m at right now, able to use my creative side.  When I’m pulled out of it usually, by having someone interrupt me when I’m trying to write, I get so annoyed that it takes me hours to go back, if I can at all.

It must, however, be extremely inconvenient for anyone who tries to interact with me when I’m like this.  Wouldn’t you hate living with a writer? I would.

I must check to see if I start off with my left foot to go up and down stairs when I’m right-brained…


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One-Liner Wednesday – Guess Who I’m Gonna See

I’ve never heard Adam Lambert, but I’m thinking he must be good to fill such impressive shoes.

 

CAM00266


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Why I Love Best Buy’s Warranties and Other Updates

After posting about yesterday’s disaster of a day, I thought I’d write a quick update on how my today is going so far.

To start with, I slept in an hour past the time I ignored my first alarm, so I didn’t drag myself out of bed until 6:30 – which is like noon for me. Okay, I’m exaggerating a little. But I’m not beyond saying truthfully that I was exhausted. That meant Alex didn’t get on the bus this morning, because he was still feeding when it came by. The good news is, he was feeling much better. For him it was like yesterday never happened, which makes me want to scream in frustration and cry with joy, simultaneously.

With him off to school, I gathered up my laptop for a trip back to Best Buy, to complain that they didn’t fix my problem. I was told first off, that they didn’t change the battery after all.

Me: But… you told me you did! (This was to the same Geek Squad guy I talked to yesterday.)

Geek Squad Guy: (Looking through a pamphlet.) They didn’t change it because it wasn’t under warranty.

Me: But… I was told when I brought it in that it was.

Geek Squad Guy: Hmmm… (wanders away)

For a full two minutes (2 minutes!) I stood and stewed. Then he came back.

Geek Squad Guy: Your warranty didn’t cover the battery, but I just talked to my manager and I’ll order you another one and replace it for free. Sorry about the confusion.

Me: (Jumping up and down with glee and reaching over the counter to kiss him…) (Okay, not really. I might have smiled a little.) Thanks.

Their extended warranties are a bit pricey, yes. But they’re so worth it. My first laptop proved to be a lemon. They replaced it with a brand new one, two and a half years after I bought it, after three major repairs. Can’t really beat that. The one that replaced it had a problem with the power cord connection (in the machine) so I sent it back with a week left to go on the three year warranty. It came back with that fixed, plus they discovered it needed a new motherboard; it hadn’t broken yet, but was on its last legs. And now that they have a free loaner program, even if I end up with a lemon, I’m never without a computer. I actually HOPE I buy a lemon.

Fixes are still nil – but I haven’t given up.


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…And Then Nothing Gets Fixed

I was walking out of Best Buy at 12:45 today when I got a call from Alex’s school. He was in the office, feeling unwell; would I come and get him. That’s not really a question. Ever. It’s a command. So I threw gently placed my newly repaired laptop in the car and drove over to get him. Best Buy had had my laptop for a week. It was shutting down without warning on battery power when the charge reached 66%. I figured it was a defective battery – they changed both it AND gave it a new hard drive.

Anyhow, I got to the school and was informed that my darling little son was feeling tired and wanted to go home. Yeah, not much of a reason. BUT, one I have no choice but to take seriously. First was the arrhythmia from the weekend, coupled with cold sweats a couple of days ago and then I was informed by the teacher that his lips had gone blue three times last week (thanks for letting me know sooner) and this all adds up in my mind to congestive heart failure. Regardless of the fact that he just went for an echocardiogram last week that showed no new problems, and ignoring the impish look of “I’m faking this” on his dear little face, I decided to take him to the emergency.

Six (count ’em) 6 hours later, we arrived back home. The EKG they did today showed there were no issues with his heart – neither did the x-ray. However, I must give honourable mention to the people who kept me entertained in the waiting room. The first was a heavily tattooed lady who lost her $1.50 in a vending machine and proceeded to inform a security guard at the top of her lungs, “IT WASN’T JUST A PENNY!” The second, and most impressive by far, was an elderly lady who clearly had no idea where she was, demanded in a tone fit for a Shakespearean Queen to be let out of her cage. Seriously, if that woman wasn’t still an opera singer – and her annunciation! It was out of this world!

Where was I? Oh yes, back at home. I ate my dinner while Alex was hooked up to his feeding pump and then I got my laptop out. New hard drive meant all the crap that comes with a factory-installed OS was present and accounted for, as was the particularly loathed Internet Explorer. So I’m sitting on my couch, miserably getting rid of everything I don’t want and … poof! 66% the laptop shuts down.

I’ll be taking the computer back to Best Buy tomorrow. Hopefully I won’t be taking the kid back to emerg. Still, don’t really know what’s wrong with either of them.


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Will We Become Like An Old Married Couple, WordPress?

In attempting to come up with something new to write here today, I realized there doesn’t seem to be much left of my present life that I haven’t already written about. In short, I’m running out of things to say.

I have this vision in my head of me and you sitting in a restaurant, eating a meal and looking around at the other couples – the young ones holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes, *gag* and the middle aged ones with kids, arguing over whether Bobby should get a new computer for his fourth birthday – and having nothing to say to one another. We’ve already talked about the weather and how bad the traffic was to get here.

Your teeth hitting the spoon every time you sip your soup is getting on my nerves.

Your memories of how sexy I was when we first met are fading even as the colour in your favourite cardigan does every time I wash it – it’s a horrible burnt orange and I’ve been secretly putting a drop of bleach in the water for about six months. I figure if it finally goes yellow you’ll stop wearing it.

Is that how things are going to end up with us, WordPress? Is it?

Come on, my dear. Let’s spice that plate of bits and bytes up, shall we? Before I have to face your dentures in a pot beside the sink in the bathroom every night.

 


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Change – Stream of Consciousness Saturday

So Alex and I were rolling pennies this morning and I was starting to realize I keep too much. Not only change, which sits on tables, in jars, and in the case of what we were rolling, a four litre juice container (it was heavy), but all the ‘stuff’ I’ve accumulated over the years.

I’m also trying to sell my mother’s condo, which is full of ‘stuff.’ Three bedrooms worth and not really enough room to sort it, so there are boxes on their way, courtesy of my dear friend John and his pick up truck, that will go into my basement to be emptied and sorted. Then I’ll have a garage sale to get rid of said stuff…

…which will probably land me a bunch more change to roll. Does it ever end?

 

Prompt: Change

This post is part of SoCS: https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/05/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-314/ 

Please click on the link to get the details, and write a post of your own!


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Quantifying Stress

Stress is something everyone feels, if not on occasion, then constantly. Though we’re all different, and there are certain things or combinations of things in our lives which cause it, it has approximately the same effect on us all.

It raises our blood pressure, causes in us either adrenaline or exhaustion, usually one on the heels of the other. It does wondrous things to our bodies – gives us headaches, makes our skin break out in rashes and can give us pain where we didn’t think it was possible to have it.

But. There’s always a but. Stress is invisible. It can’t be counted; it can only be felt. It can only be seen by the ripping out of one’s hair and the stomping about of one’s feet, or the squealing of one’s wheels on dry pavement. Explaining it is near impossible to someone who doesn’t understand how much we’re under.

There are scales for pain: you can see them hanging on hospital walls. But what if there was such a thing as a stress scale? How would it look?

On a scale from one to ten, for myself, one would show a picture of me banging my shin against the foot of my spare bed, that has been out to get me since I inherited said bed with the house I’m living in.

Three would be the bed plus dropping everything I touch in the space of fifteen minutes. I have days like that.

Five might be getting in the car and turning the key to a click instead of the firing of pistons when I have an appointment to get to.

Seven to eight is being interrupted ten minutes after I sit down to write, and I just have my head in whatever I’m trying to concentrate on… eight being the fifth time in as many minutes.

But ten? Ten is having my son tell me he’s tired and putting my ear to his chest to find that his heart is in arrhythmia, going 90 beats per minute for a few beats, and then down to 30 for a few and back again. Adds up to a decent 60bpm, but there’s still the question, do I take him to the hospital or not? I’m alone with two kids, neither of whom can be left alone. This is where my stress level was two nights ago.

And so I thought, maybe I should make up a scale for my family so they know when not to push my buttons. Because no one wants to get in the line of fire when I’m reaching five, let alone ten.

What do you think – not for me, but for yourself? Might a stress scale lessen the number of stress-induced conflicts in your home? Something to consider, I think.