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Tag Archives: clueless


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288. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, June 15th, 9:00pm
MoJo and JoJo

 

MoJo: Hey, man, what time is it?

JoJo: I dunno, dude. You’re the one with the watch.

MoJo: Pfft, yeah. It says it’s seven o’clock.

JoJo: So? It’s seven o’clock. What’s you’re problem, dude?

MoJo: It’s too dark to be seven o’clock. It’s, like, almost the longest day of the year.

JoJo: Dude! You know what that means, right?

MoJo: No?

JoJo: It means when your watch stopped, so did time!

MoJo: I don’t get it.

JoJo: Think about it, man. Your watch says seven, right?

MoJo: Yeah.

JoJo: But it’s dark, right?

MoJo: Yeah.

JoJo: So that means we must still be in winter!

MoJo: It’s pretty darned warm outside for winter, dude.

JoJo: Global warming, man!

MoJo: No way! So that means …

JoJo: You’d better get a new battery, dude.

MoJo: You’re right! Good thing I didn’t put the snow shovel away yet.

 

Next stop: Saturday, June 16th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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256. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, May 14th, 8:00pm
Edward (and Lily)

 

Edward sits at the window. Lily takes the seat beside him.

Lily: How’s the new job going?

Edward: Oh hi. Yeah, it’s going. I’m still not sure if it’s the right position for me.

Lily: How’s that?

Edward: Well, you know. The Master was teaching me all kinds of things that could help me survive. How to get into a victim’s head and all that.

Lily: And your new boss?

Edward: I’m learning the same sort of stuff. But with this Master, the end result is more for him than me.

Lily: So you’re bringing your victims home to him or what?

Edward: Nah, I still get what I go for. And the whole plundering thing is good …

Lily: Wait. Plundering?

Edward: Mr. Splindle tells me to get the money, and then I can go ahead and plunder to my heart’s content.

Lily: And what does plundering look like?

Edward: (shrugs) You know. Plundering. Like, steal their booties.

Lily: Huh.

Edward: By the way, if you ever decide to have a baby, I have plenty of booties.

Lily: (stares for a moment) How have you survived this long?

Edward: (shrugs) I get by.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, May 15th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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246. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, May 4th, 8:00am
MoJo and JoJo (and Sean)

 

MoJo: You know what day it is today, right dude?

JoJo: Dude!

MoJo: Totally!

JoJo: Go forth and prosper, dude!

MoJo: Awesome, dude!

Both: (stand up and raise fists in the air. To the bus.) IT’S STAR TREK DAY!!

Sean: (from the seat behind them) That’s Star Wars day. Dudes.

MoJo: No way!

JoJo: Nuh uh, dude.

Sean: It’s May the fourth.

MoJo: Yeah, it’s Go Forth and Prosper Day.

Sean: (shakes his head and enunciates) May. The. Forth.

MoJo: (enunciating) I. Know.

Sean: (shrugs) Whatever.

Both sit down.

JoJo: Dude, that guy, man. (points at ear and draws a circle in the air and sings Twilight Zone theme)

MoJo: (nods) Dude.

 

Next stop: Saturday, May 5th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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230. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Wednesday, April 18th, 8:00pm
Mr. Splindle and Edward

 

Mr. Splindle: So what were you doing before, Edward?

Edward: I worked for a man … er … I was an apprentice of sorts.

Mr. Splindle: That idea died, did it?

Edward: It dyed the wrong colour completely.

Mr. Splindle: And what do you like to do for fun?

Edward: Do you mean what are my hobbies?

Mr. Splindle: No! No, not at all. This isn’t an interview, son! It’s what you might call a recruitment! No, I just want to know what sorts of things might be distracting you from our little venture.

Edward: Well, I like to look at girls.

Mr. Splindle: So you like pussy, eh son? A man after my own heart.

Edward: (frowning) That’s not what I said.

Mr. Splindle: What are you talking about then, lad?

Edward: I like to look at girls, not cats.

Mr. Splindle regards him for a moment.

Edward: And I don’t like dogs.

Mr. Splindle: (pats him on the knee and smiles) Son, the cats we’re going to see tonight’ll have you howling like a dog at the moon.

 

Next stop: Thursday, April 19th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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188. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, March 7th, 4:00pm
Terry and Shannon

 

Shannon: C’mon!

Terry: Nope, it’s a surprise.

Shannon: Can’t you at least tell me how much you won before we get there?

Terry: Nope.

Shannon: It must be a lot if we’ve gotta go all the way to the city.

Terry: Yep.

Shannon: So … you’ll be able to get your Internet back. Is it enough for a new computer?

Terry: Maybe.

Shannon: A vacation?

Terry: Maybe.

Shannon: A new house?

Terry: Nah.

Shannon: Oh c’mon, Ter. How much did you win?

Terry: Okay, fine. After I cash in my ticket, I’m getting a flight to visit a girl in London.

Shannon: A … girl?

Terry: (smiles) Yeah.

Shannon: Is she … a girlfriend?

Terry: I hope so.

Shannon stands up.

Terry: Where are you going?

Shannon: Back home.

Terry: W–w–why?

Shannon: If you can’t figure it out now, you never will.

 

Next stop: Thursday, March 8th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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180. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, February 27th, 4:00pm
Blade and Mumsy

 

Mumsy: You have everything you need?

Blade: Yes, Mumsy. I have everything I need.

Mumsy: And you’re wearing clean undergarments?

Blade: Of course, Mumsy.

Mumsy: And you won’t be too frightened?

Blade: No, Mumsy. I’ll be fine.

Mumsy: Because I can come with you.

Blade: (sighs) We’ve been through this before, Mumsy. You can’t come to college with me. It’s something I have to do myself.

Mumsy: As long as you’re sure.

Blade: I am, Mumsy.

Mumsy: (pats his hand) All right then.

Blade: (freezes and gasps) Wait. Did you pack my grey poupon?

Mumsy: No, I thought you did.

Blade: We must go back! I can’t go to school without my grey poupon!

Mumsy: (stands up) Driver! My son forgot his grey poupon! Turn this vehicle around immediately! We need to go back! (sits)

Blade: (a minute later) Why is he not turning around?

Mumsy: I have no idea. (stands) Driver! I said turn this vehicle around immediately!

Blade: Perhaps I should go and speak to him privately.

Mumsy: (stands) No, you just sit. I’ll take care of this.

Mumsy walks to the front of the bus and returns a moment later.

Blade: What did he say?

Mumsy: (indignantly) He told me we’ll have to disembark and catch something or other going in the opposite direction!

Blade: Of all the nerve!

Mumsy: That’s the last time I hire this limo company!

Blade: (shakes his head) I knew this was a bad idea when he refused to get out and open the door for us.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, February 28th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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171. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, February 18th, 11:00am
MoJo and JoJo

 

MoJo: I tell ya, man, I’m really getting sick of winter.

JoJo: Me too, man. You betcha.

MoJo: We should seriously get a plane outta here.

JoJo: We should! Def!

MoJo: Where should we go?

JoJo: As far south as we can possibly get, man.

MoJo: Def.

JoJo: Like, the south pole, man.

MoJo: Whoa. Really? We can do that?

JoJo: Why not? I’ll get right on it. Soon as we get home!

MoJo: Cool, man! Let’s do it!

They high five each other.

JoJo: South pole, here we come!

MoJo: Book it!

 

Next stop: Monday, February 19th, 8:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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42. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, October 12th, 2:00pm
Hank and Bill

 

Hank: You know, Bob …

Bill: It’s Bill.

Hank: You know, Bill, there’s only just so much a man can take in this world. Now I know, ye gets your ups, and ye gets your downs, but ye can’t just let people walk all over you. Take Morty for example.

Bill: You mean Mike?

Hank: Morty, Mike, whatever. He just lost a whole lotta dough, and because what?

Hank looks at Bill. Bill opens his mouth to answer.

Hank: That’s right. Because the Man’s bringin’ him down. And you know who the Man is, right Bob?

Bill: The corporations?

Hank: (slaps Bill’s knee) You got ‘er, Bob! Those damned corporations. What we’ve gotta do, Bob, is break free! Break free, I tell ye. Go out on our own and make the millions o’ dollars that we’re entitled to.

Bill: So … what’s that got to do with me?

Hank: (regards him with pity in his eyes) You still don’t know, do ye Bob.

Bill shakes his head.

Hank: You’re gonna thank me, Bob. ‘Coz when I tell you what I’ve come to figure out over years of hard work and dedication … Let’s just say the Lord is shinin’ a light down on you today. (looks up) Oh! Here’s my stop. (pats Bill on the shoulder) Next time maybe. See ye later, Bob.

Hank gets off the bus.

 

 

Next stop: Friday, October 13th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.