Life in progress

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363. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, August 29th, 9:00pm
Bella (and Alice) (and Lily)


Bella sits at the window. Alice takes the seat beside her.

Alice: Hey.

Bella: Hey. So what did you find out?

Alice: Turns out they transferred Edward out of prison and into some sort of mental facility. He ran away from there while security had their backs turned.

Bella: I knew he didn’t turn to smoke! What a liar.

Alice: But there’s that thing with the house. I still can’t explain that.

Lily: (pops up from behind the seat, making Bella and Alice jump) I can.

Bella: (to Alice) You’d think we’d get used to that.

Alice: (to Lily) We don’t want your explanation.

Lily: Oh, but you should. You see, Edward was never really a vampire.

Bella: Well, duh!

Lily: But I am. And I can do all sorts of things.

Alice: Can you disappear?

Lily: I can. In fact I’m going to. I’m going to join Edward in Transylvania and give him what he’s always wanted.

Bella: A life?

Lily: Eternal life. And then I’m sure he’ll be back for you. (breathing into the back of Bella’s neck) I wouldn’t stop looking over your shoulder, Bella.

Lily disappears in a puff of air.

Alice: Wait! Where’d she go this time?

Bella: (squeezes past Alice and stands in the aisle facing the seat behind them) Mosquito! (slaps the seat and kills the mosquito on the seat) Sucker!

Alice: One down! (high-fives Bella)


Next stop: Thursday, August 30th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.

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352. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, August 18th, 9:00pm
Edward (and Bella)


Edward sits at the window. Bella boards the bus.

Bella: (as she approaches) Oh God, you’re back already?

Edward: Just to show you something. Then I’m gone.

Bella: What is it?

Edward: Sit down and I’ll show you.

Bella sits beside him.

Edward: (pulls envelope out of his pocket) My ticket. I’m leaving tonight for Transylvania. To find my ancestors.

Bella: Your family came from … wait. You know you’re not actually a vampire. And even if you were, you’re not related to Vlad the Impaler.

Edward: (sighs) I am a vampire and I am descended from Vlad.

Bella laughs.

Edward: You don’t believe me.

Bella: Of course not.

Edward: Then how do you explain my escape from prison?

Bella: I don’t know – a friend who eats flies?

Edward: No! I turned into smoke.

Bella: Right. Okay then. Let me see you do it now.

Edward: I can’t. I … wouldn’t want to attract attention to you.

Bella: To me? (laughs again)

Edward: You hurt me to the quick, Bella. But never mind. I will go to Transylvania and return with riches, and then you’ll not be able to deny me.

Bella: Watch me.

Edward: You’ll see.

Bella: Right.

Edward: Now, if you’ll excuse me.

Bella waits.

Edward: I’d like to get off the bus now.

Bella: You’re not going to turn into a bat and fly out the window?

Edward: The windows don’t open.

Bella: (stands) Have a nice life, Edward.

Edward: I will Bella. When you’re finally in it for good.

Edward exits the bus.


Next stop: Sunday, August 19th, 5:00pm

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350. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language.

Thursday, August 16th, 9:00pm
Bella (and Alice) (and Edward)


Bella sits at the window looking worried. Alice takes the seat beside her.

Alice: What’s up?

Bella: The cops went over to pick up Lily.

Alice: ‘Bout time.

Bella: But there wasn’t a house there.

Alice: What do you mean there wasn’t a house there? You had the address written down and everything.

Bella: I know. Apparently, that’s why they didn’t pick her up in the first place. It was a vacant lot. Just a hole in the ground.

Alice: So what, you wrote the address down wrong when Edward let you go?

Bella: No. I went over there myself. The house was there just like I remembered. So I called the cops and went to a coffee shop to wait. When I went back again it was just like they said. A vacant lot.

Alice: That’s spooky.

Bella: And worst of all? Edward escaped.

Alice: Holy shit.

Bella: I know.

Alice: So what are we going to do?

Bella: I don’t want to run away …

Alice: … but there might not be any choice.

Edward: (pops up from the seat behind, making them both jump) It’s okay. I’m going to leave you alone.

Alice: You’re doing a good job already.

Bella: Stay away from me.

Edward: That’s what I just said. I’m going away. For real this time.

Bella: Promise?

Edward: Yes. But I promise you this too. I’ll see you again. When you least expect it.

Bella: That’s reassuring. How about never?

Edward: That’s not possible, Bella. We’re meant to be together. (smiles, showing fake fangs) Good bye for now, my love.

Edward sits at the back of the bus until it stops. He gets off.

Alice: What’ll you do when he comes back?

Bella: (opens purse to reveal a wooden stake, bulbs of garlic, and a cross) I got it covered.


Next stop: Friday, August 17th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.

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345. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, August 11th, 8:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Lily)


Alice: Are you sure you’re okay to go out tonight?

Bella: Never better. Now that Edward is locked up.

Lily: (pops up in the seat behind them, making them jump) No he’s not.

Bella: (turns) What do you mean he’s not? I was there when they arrested him … You too! How did you get out?

Lily: We turned to smoke and slipped out through the bars.

Alice: You’re full of shit.

Bella pulls out her phone.

Lily: Who you gonna call?

Bella: Ghostbusters, who do you think? I’m calling the cops to come and get you.

Lily: (smiles, showing fake fangs) They’ll never catch me.

Alice: Fuckin’ right they will.

Lily disappears.

Bella: Where’d she go.

Both lean over the seat. Lily is crouched down on the floor.

Alice: What’s that, your version of smoke?

Lily hisses and reaches up to pull the cord for the bus to stop.

Bella: You’re not hiding from anyone.

Lily continues to crouch down, ignoring her.

Bella: (to Alice) Do you believe this? She actually thinks she’s invisible.

The bus stops.

Alice: (as Lily disembarks) Wanna follow her?

Bella: Nah. I know where she lives.


Next stop: Sunday, August 12th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


338. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, August 4th, 9:00pm
Edward and Lily


Edward: Why are you in such a bad mood?

Lily: Your psycho girlfriend stole my pet.

Edward: I couldn’t leave him with my Bella. They were getting too friendly. And anyway, she’s not my girlfriend. She’s just a psycho.

Lily: So now you get rid of the psycho AND you still have Bella locked up in my basement. What’s in it for me?

Edward: (thinks a moment) My undying gratitude?

Lily: (stares at him) Not good enough.

Edward: I did distract the cops that time. Doesn’t that count for anything?

Lily: No. You had way too much fun with it. (crosses arms and slouches) You get all the fun. All I get is the whiny, “You’ve got to let me go!” and, “I’ll do anything, just let me go!” all day while I’m trying to get my beauty rest.

Edward: (sits up straight) Anything? She said she’ll do anything?

Lily: (tiredly) Yeah.

Edward: Hmmm …

Lily: What are you thinking?

Edward: (hesitantly) Maybe she doesn’t really want to be with me.

Lily: No! You think?

Edward: Are you being sarcastic?

Lily: No! (rolls eyes)

Edward: Do you think we should let her go?

Lily: You’ll have to wipe out her memory first. You can do that though, right?

Edward hesitates, his eyes shifting back and forth.

Lily: Of course you can.

Edward continues to avoid the question.

Lily: Are you a vampire or not?

Edward: (affronted) Of course I am!

Lily: Then there’s no problem.

Edward: (uncertainly) Right.


Next stop: Sunday, August 5th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


325. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, July 22nd, 8:00pm
Edward and Lily


Edward: What did you do with the crazy one?

Lily: Her name is Andrea, and I didn’t do anything with her.

Edward: Why not? You were supposed to do away with her for me.

Lily: I was waiting to see what my tasty treat was going to be.

Edward: Weren’t you impressed?

Lily: You brought me a rat.

Edward: It’s a raccoon!

Lily: Okay, a glorified rat. You should just thank your lucky stars I didn’t let your soulmate go.

Edward: You wouldn’t let Bella go! Not after all the trouble I went through to steal her.

Lily: I think she’s making friends with my pet.

Edward: The Darkness?

Lily: (points finger and makes a clicking sound) You got it.

Edward: But he only has four words in his entire vocabulary! “I am The Darkness”!

Lily: I think she’s teaching a few choice new ones.

Edward: This was a bad idea.

Lily: Ya think?


Next stop: Monday, July 23rd, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.

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324. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, July 21st, 9:00pm
Edward and Lily


Lily: I thought you were leaving town.

Edward: I just said that so Bella wouldn’t know what hit her.

Lily: You’re going to hit her?

Edward: No, no. It’s a modern figure of speech. I’m going to kidnap her.

Lily: How does it help that she thinks you’re out of town?

Edward: Not her, her friend. If she thinks I’m gone, she won’t know who kidnapped Bella. All I need you to do is take care of the other one. Whatshername. The crazy one.

Lily: You mean the one who’s about as crazy as you are?

Edward: Yeah. That one.

Lily: And where, may I ask, are you planning to steal Bella off to?

Edward: Your place.

Lily: Oh no you’re not!

Edward: You sure? I’ll throw in a tasty treat for you.

Lily: (narrows eyes) How tasty?

Edward: (smiles) That’s for me to know and you to find out.

Lily: (snorts) All I can say is you’d better make this worthwhile.


Next stop: Sunday, July 22nd, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.