Linda G. Hill

Life in progress


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318. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language.

Sunday, July 15th, 11:00am
Andrea and Lacey

 

Andrea: Ugh. I’m covered in mosquito bites.

Lacey: I thought you liked blood-suckers.

Andrea: Fuck off. Speaking of blood-suckers, it’s been, like, a week since I saw my Eddie.

Lacey: How’d it go last time you saw him?

Andrea: (cocks head) We talked a bit. Then he said he had to run. I think we hit it off okay.

Lacey: I think you should just forget about him. Find someone nice.

Andrea: What do I want “nice” for? It doesn’t matter – they start off nice but then I find out they were dicks all along. Might as well go for someone I know is badass in the first place. Save some time.

Lacey: You’ve got a point.

 

Next stop: Monday, July 16th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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310. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, July 7th, 9:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward)

 

Bella: I know he’s gonna be there tonight. I just know it.

Edward: (pops up in the seat behind them, making them jump) You mean me? I’m here.

Bella: No, I don’t mean you. And if you do that again, I swear…

Edward: Don’t swear, Bella. It doesn’t become you.

Alice: If you have to know, she means a guy that…

Bella: (interrupts) I’m in love with. And he’s in love with me. So go blow it out your ear.

Edward: Blow what out my ear? (shakes head)  I’m here to give you one last chance, Bella. Be with me. You know you want to.

Bella: As much as I’m tempted I think I’ll pass. What, you got other options?

Edward: I’m considering leaving town.

Bella: No!

Edward: You’re sad. I’m sorry. All you have to do is agree to marry me, and I’ll take you with me.

Bella: I’ll survive.

Alice: Why the change of plans? As if I really want to know.

Edward: There’s a woman stalking me. I believe she means to try to kill me.

Alice: (under her breath) Well there’s an idea.

Edward: She approached me last night and pretended to be you, my Bella. You but changed to be like me. A vampire. I could smell her a mile off.

Bella: You know, you’re kind of ripe yourself.

Edward: So what do you say, Bella? Will you come with me? It’s really not safe here.

Bella: I’ll be fine. Go without me.

Edward: Parting is such sweet sorrow. Good-bye then my love.

Edward stands and waits for the next bus stop.

Alice: Good riddance.

Edward stares at Bella.

Bella: You’re not going to hypnotize me into going with you.

Alice: (to Edward) Seriously?

Edward: Fine then! (gets off the bus)

Bella: (reaches out toward the door) Oh no! He’s really gone!

Bella and Alice look at each other and crack up laughing.

 

Next stop: Sunday, July 8th, 11:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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309. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language.

Friday, July 6th, 7:00pm
Andrea (and Drommen)

 

Andrea sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.

Drommen: Hey. You changed your hair.

Andrea: Yep. I went blonde.

Drommen: What’s the occasion?

Andrea: I’m hoping to meet Edward tonight. Do you think he’ll like it?

Drommen: You’re not serious. The guy’s a nutcase.

Andrea: (frowns) He’s just, like, a bit misguided.

Drommen: And you’re going to guide him in the right direction?

Andrea: Fuck yeah.

Drommen: Well I’ll give you one thing: you’ve got something in common. You’re both persistent.

Andrea: (smiles, showing a mouthful of fake fangs) That’s not all.

 

Next stop: Saturday, July 7th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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303. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, June 30th, 5:00pm
Andrea and Lacey

 

Andrea sighs.

Lacey: What’s wrong?

Andrea: I keep hoping to see Eddie on the bus. But he’s, like, never on anymore.

Lacey: I thought you were over him.

Andrea: I’ll never be over him, Lace. He’s my soulmate!

Lacey: Pfft.

Andrea: I didn’t expect you to understand. I just wish I knew where he was.

Lacey: Has it occurred to you that if he’s a vampire, he won’t come out when it’s daylight?

Andrea stares at her.

Lacey: (after a moment) Well?

Andrea: You think he really is a vampire?

Lacey: NO!

Andrea: I guess you’re right if he’s, like, trying to keep up appearances. (smiles) Thanks, Lace.

Lacey sighs.

 

Next stop: Sunday, July 1st, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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289. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, June 16th, 8:00pm
Edward (and Kyra)

 

Edward sits at the window. Kyra staggers down the aisle and takes the seat beside him.

Kyra: Hey I know you.

Edward: I don’t remember you.

Kyra: Yeah, you’re that guy that wants to be a vampire guy. You wanna share a bottle of wine with me?

Edward: I don’t drink wine.

Kyra: You sure? It’s red.

Edward: Just because it’s the same colour as blood doesn’t mean I want to drink it.

Kyra: Hey, you ever notice that blood has red and white cells and wine comes in red bottles and white bottles?

Edward stares at her.

Kyra: Gotta be a connection, right?

Edward: I still don’t want any wine.

Kyra: Suit yourself, vampire guy.

Edward: But I suppose I could drink it indirectly…

Kyra: What’s that supposed to mean?

Edward: (shrugs) Where are you getting off the bus?

Kyra: Main Street.

Edward: (smiles, exposing mouthful of fake fangs) Me too.

 

Next stop: Sunday, June 17th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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274. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, June 1st, 9:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward)

 

Bella: You know who we haven’t seen in a while?

Alice: Who?

Bella: Edward.

Edward: (pops up in the seat behind, making Bella and Alice jump) Hello!

Alice: Speak of the devil.

Edward: (to Bella) You conjured?

Bella: Now that you’re here, you can go away.

Edward: I’ve missed you, Bella.

Alice: She hasn’t missed you.

Edward: (to Bella) I have a new job. (smiles, exposing fake fangs) I’m rich now.

Bella: Ooooh, that makes me want you even more!

Edward: It does?

Bella: No. Go away.

Edward: You hurt me to the core. But one day, my love, we’ll be together.

Alice: No you won’t.

Edward: (to Bella, whispering) Forever.

Bella: Look, idiot, you’re not getting the message. I. Don’t. Want. To. Date. You.

Edward: You don’t have to date me. Just be my bride.

Bella: Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.

Edward: It will. Mark my words.

Alice: I’ll mark your forehead with “loser” if you don’t fucking get lost.

Edward: (smiles) You’ll see me again. Soon.

Edward gets off the bus.

Bella: Think he’s ever going to give up?

Alice: (shrugs) Guys like that always do eventually.

 

Next stop: Saturday, June 2nd, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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263. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, May 21st, 8:00pm
Lily (and Edward)

 

Lily sits at the window. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Lily: Oh, thank the Master you’re here.

Edward: What’s wrong?

Lily: I hooked up with this guy the other night, and he literally took a bite out of me. (lifts sleeve to show shoulder wound) Look.

Edward: (cringes) That’s nasty. I hope you bit him back.

Lily: Of course! But that doesn’t help this. (points to wound) And the worst part is I think I’ve got hair growing out of my ears now.

Edward: Do you think he’s a werewolf?

Lily: Holy Garlic, I hope not. What kind of monster would that make me?

Edward: Same kind as him if you bit him too. Let me look in your ears.

Lily brushes hair out of the way and tilts head.

Edward: Hmm …

Lily: What?

Edward: What colour is our ear wax supposed to be?

Lily: Vampires don’t have ear wax.

Edward: We don’t? (sticks finger in ear, pulls it out and studies it) You’re right. Well, the good news is I don’t see any hair.

Lily: The bad news?

Edward: I can see out the window through there.

Lily hits him, then doubles over in pain from shoulder wound.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, May 22nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.