Life in progress

Tag Archives: family


by 37 Comments

The Advocate

I’m not sure if this is going to come off as a tired rant, a tirade, or an attempt to show others that they’re not alone, but here we go anyway.

Advocating for one’s family is a ball-buster. Bureaucracy makes it so that the people working at the level the public deals with on a daily basis in the schools, and all the way up to the federal government, are in a position to simply throw up their hands and say, “Sorry, this is the way it is.” Which makes it necessary for us advocates to go above their heads. But it’s not as easy as just making a phone call. Oh no. There are “proper channels” we must go through. Forms to fill out and send either by snail mail or fax machines we have to drive around town to find and then spend money on.  And then there’s the wait. The wait that is so damned long we forget whether we do indeed have to just wait or follow up. Follow up? Oh yes, start at the bottom again to get the right phone/fax/post office box number.

And while all that’s going on, something else has come up. It’s a lot of work and it’s stressful! Even if we do manage to talk to someone on the phone we have to go into “stand and fight” mode before we even start. Because nothing is easy and no one at the other end is going to give in. If we’re lucky (and I use that term loosely) we get transfered to the next higher up on the food chain so that we can go through our case again. And then what? Normally it’s wait and see. Or, “We’ll mail you the forms to fill out.” Again.

What I have on the go includes (but is not limited to) getting an aid to help my 20 year old Autistic son in class so he can graduate high school this year; getting the funding I’m entitled to for my other son’s eyeglasses; finding out what the hell is going on with the holter (heart) monitor his cardiologist ordered months ago; sorting which hoops I have to jump through for the nurse at his school who doesn’t want him to eat by mouth this year, this after a lengthy process (with a two year waiting list) of having a swallow study done, followed by a report which was discussed at a meeting with the specialists and the above mentioned nurse to explain that he could eat by mouth; finding out what happened to the money my mother was supposed to get back from the condo corporation after we sold her unit… The list goes on and on. And it’s all wrapped up in bureaucratic bullcrap.

Luckily I’m a stay-at-home mom, so I don’t do anything all day anyway… 🙄

I’m sure I’m not alone in this. In fact I’m sure there are others out there who have it even worse than I do. I have to wonder if there’s a better way to do things. Don’t you?


by 36 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – Think Positive

If every best-case scenario we imagined inevitably came true, what positive thoughts we’d have!

 

Fall 2013

____________________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


by 24 Comments

#SoCS – Expectations

Is it possible to write stream of consciousness style when there’s someone screaming in your ear, stealing away your focus? I’m about to find out.

“Never expect anything and you’ll never be disappointed.” it’s a phrase I live by. I had hoped – half expected – to get this weekend away, but my ex came down with some kind of a bug so here I am with a disgruntled kid who doesn’t want me to pay any attention to anything but him. I had a back-up plan – his older brother – but he’s sick too.

It’s funny. I spend so much energy attempting not to promise the kids anything until I’m positive it’s going to happen but I don’t always put it into practice myself. But it’s really the same thing, isn’t it? I allow them to hope by saying maybe, or wait and see, but I don’t allow them to expect anything, and so if it doesn’t happen, they’re not too disappointed. It’s good advice, no matter whether you’re doing it yourself or doing it for someone else. Yet I don’t know if I’m actually teaching them anything…

It’s particularly important for someone like my son who is Autistic not to have unexpected events happen. Or for plans to go awry. Although I find as he gets older (he’ll be 20 next month) he’s getting better with change – more able to accept it. Still, there are certain things that can not, in his mind, be tolerated. God forbid anything ever happens to his computer.

I like surprises. Good ones at least, and most of the bad ones I’m able to roll with. Then again, I try not to expect too much.

This full-circle ramble is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2015/10/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-315/

SoCS badge 2015


by 11 Comments

#SoCS – Eating and Other Minutiae

You know you’re tired when:

I had my toast on my plate on the kitchen table along with the tub of margarine (open) and jam (open-can’t remember what kind but it has three fruits in it), and since I was talking to my friend John about something completely unrelated to getting my toast ready, I put the jam on before the margarine.

Wow, that was not as exciting a story as I thought it would be.

I had a dream the other morning that I was at the concert I’m going to in Tokyo in November and I was stuck at the back of the hall and there were no lights on the stage (which was tucked into the corner of the room) so I missed the entire show. I think that qualifies as a nightmare, don’t you?

So I’m going to Kingston today and staying over night to get a break. The Kingston Writer’s Fest is on this weekend and I’m hoping to get tickets to an event tomorrow – if I do, I’ll try to write about the experience next week. I’m also hoping to get together for coffee this afternoon with our gracious badge-maker and host of the blog, “My Leaky Boat.” It’s gonna be fun!

Now I’m off to wash all my sheets and blankets – the cat peed on my bed sometime yesterday. Luckily it’s a nice day out, so it should all dry on the line.

See you on the flipside!

This post has been brought to you via Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2015/09/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-2615/

SoCS badge 2015


by 36 Comments

New Adventures – the Waterfront Trail

As you may have read, I had to give up my paper route last spring because of the pain in my shoulder. I wasn’t very happy about it. Being a newspaper carrier gave me a reason to get out and walk every day, as well as the occasional reason to post about the adventures I had when I was out. In lieu of that, I started going to an indoor track when the weather was bad – either too icy, cold or rainy, or too hot and humid. But now that the weather is getting nicer again, I’ve begun exploring the neighbourhood in which I’ve lived for the past six (yes, six) years. This is what I discovered, less than a ten minute walk from my house:

turtle pond

There’s a turtle pond due south of my abode, complete with a waterfront trail that stretches about a half a mile in both directions (west and east) before it pauses to take up its journey again past houses and busy roads. The Waterfront Trail in its entirety goes all the way from Niagara Falls to the Quebec border, with breaks in between for roadways. Some of the breaks are vast, but in all it goes around the western end of Lake Ontario, through Toronto, and follows past Kingston (where the lake ends) and then all the way down the Ottawa River. Minus the breaks, it is 450km (280 miles) long. (Source, Wikipedia.)

I’m looking forward to taking lots of pictures as the trees change. There are herons and swans, ducks, cormorants, seagulls, and geese, and of course, turtles in abundance. The indoor track, though handy and free, is going to seem very dull when the snow necessitates it.

wide view


by 38 Comments

Who Needs Glue When You Can Sniff Fruit Flies?

I’m completely and utterly discouraged tonight.

I had a weekend off but had very little sleep, but that’s not why I’m discouraged.

I got barely any work done on my novels, but that’s not why either.

I have a sink full of dishes that I haven’t the energy to do, but that’s not entirely what’s got me down.

I killed a fruit fly this afternoon by breathing it forcefully (by accident) up my nose and blowing it back out into a kleenex – that was actually the highlight of my day.

I want to go to bed but I have to wait for kids to go to sleep, but that’s not what’s really killing me.

I have so much to do that I don’t know where to start, but that’s not the worst of it.

What really has me discouraged? It’s all of the above combined. Except the fruit fly thing. That’s just funny.

How was your weekend? Please tell me it was better than mine.


by 16 Comments

SoCS – My Roots

I often wonder where my ideas come from. My stories seem to come out of the ether, as do the characters in my fictional works. Sometimes I’m inspired by something tangible, like a picture, a song, or another story or even a line I’ve read – sometimes it’s even a passing thought, like “what if?” But no matter where it comes from or what I do, it ends up twisted. And I swear to God, it’s not on purpose. It happens. My fingers take me places I can’t, and don’t, imagine… kinda. It’s hard to explain, because of course it’s coming from my imagination. But at the same time it seems to be coming from elsewhere, like a voice whispering in my ear.

So now that you think I’m nuts…

I have to wonder how much of it is genetic. My father was a creative guy. He made up stories, he played the guitar, his wit was extremely quick. (I’m sure that’s where my eldest son gets his wit from, though his dad (my ex) is a funny guy too.) I wish my father had lived long enough to tell me more of his inner thoughts. No father in his right mind would tell his adolescent daughter about the darker side of his thoughts. It would be fascinating though, to understand whether there’s anything to these twists that are more from my background and less from the ether.

Unless, of course, my father is the one whispering in my ear.

This second creepy SoCS post of mine this week comes to you via this post: https://lindaghill.com/2015/09/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1915/ Join in the fun! It’s not all creepy – I promise!

SoCS badge 2015


by 73 Comments

9 Things I Learned From Not Blogging Every Day

As a blogger who has gone from posting occasionally, to every day and then back to once in a while, I’ve found there are both advantages and disadvantages to both methods. Some of the good points only apply to the blog itself, but some are important factors for general well-being. Here is my list:

For the Blog

  1. Posting every day creates a momentum. I often got almost as many views from the post of the day before as I did the current one, thus doubling the number of views. When posting only occasionally, views plummet on days I don’t post.
  2. Time of day is important! Even though I posted every day for a year on my fiction blog, the number of views went down if I published after eight at night. It was the same deal if I posted too early. Followers get used to seeing you at the same time every day.
  3. It doesn’t matter how frequent posts are on a fiction blog – fiction gets fewer views. Period. My theory is that if people want to read fiction, they’ll usually pick up a book.
  4. Even if you take a break, people will come back. Especially people who really like what you write.

 

For Life in General

  1. Not posting every day means more exercise – just as well, my butt was getting square.
  2. Not blogging means more time for other projects, including ones that come with getting a square butt. Still a plus.
  3. Posting every day provides a constant means of interaction with other humans. I have to say, I don’t laugh nearly as much when I’m away from WordPress.
  4. Going back and forth from daily blogging to not gives a perspective of what’s important in life. Yes, obviously family is the most important thing, but for me as a writer, so is being able to write. Without a steady outlet of my thoughts onto the screen, I become more irritable – which is not necessarily a good thing for my family either. Therefore, my final point is,
  5. Balance is essential! I’m still working on finding mine.

 

My conclusion, as I’ve come to realize it, is that as much as I hear everyone say “real life” is more important than being online, it depends what I do with my online life, and equally what I do with my life offline. I think it’s okay to spend a healthy amount of time sitting at a keyboard if that time is productive and provides an outlet rather than an escape (though escape is important too). I’d like to start posting every day again: mostly what I’ve learned by not doing so, is that it’s okay to walk away. I guess that’s actually ten things, isn’t it. 😛

What do you think? Can you add to the list?

 


by 20 Comments

SoCS – Distemper

Distemper, datemper… which temper do you want? You know, sometimes you just want to edit. But you can’t. So here we go.

I’ve been sitting here for the past fifteen minutes trying to come up with a word with “temp” in it that doesn’t mean it will soon go away: temporary, CONtemporary (new now, old tomorrow), tempus fugit (time flies), temperature (when does that ever stay consistent?) (okay, if you live in the desert maybe it pretty much does), template. Template! It’s something you use so that you can recreate the same thing over and over – without changing it!

Now what?

I suppose I can still talk about how things change, but that’s so depressing, isn’t it? Unless I’m sad, then I want things to change for the better. Contentment is so rare though, isn’t it? When I am content I try my best to stay in the moment, to remember details, and to enjoy it to the fullest. Contentment scares me though. I have to say I’m pretty happy with the way my life is at the moment. All three of my kids live at home, and they’re all relatively healthy (Alex has a lingering cough, but it’s nothing life-threatening) and they’re all relatively happy as well, and busy with their lives. It all makes me wonder what’s going to happen next. I try not to speculate. Again, stay in the moment. Just stay in the moment, Linda. Enjoy it. Even when I’m being kept awake at 2 am by a coughing kid… Yeah.

Sometimes enjoying my contentment is more of a challenge than others.

I have a hard time staying seated. When I’m writing or editing I have to get up at least every half an hour or so. I sometimes walk into the kitchen, see that there’s really nothing to munch on (because I’ve been smart enough not to buy anything to munch on) and go back to the computer empty-handed. That’s a good thing. I could so easily gain a hundred pounds without even trying if I gave in to all the temptations. Hey, there’s another word that’s not temporary… or is it? I suppose if temptations were constant they’d grind us down so much that they would no longer be temptations but reality instead. So yeah, temporary.

I’m going to temporarily leave reality now… (which means temporary unconsciousness… stream of unconsciousness Saturday… SoUS… French for suck… this really sucks, doesn’t it? Hahahahahahahaha!)

This ramble has been brought to you by SoCS: https://lindaghill.com/2015/09/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1215/ Join in earlier than I do next week and have some fun!

SoCS badge 2015


by 27 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday – The First Lesson in Relationships

Realizing you’re taking your grumpiness out undeservedly on your loved ones is the hard part. Apologizing is easy.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds!

4. Have fun!