Life in progress

Tag Archives: Humor


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One-Liner Wednesday – In Sync

Scenario:

My best friend, John, is standing at the front door waiting to drive my eldest son to work. Eldest son is putting his boots on. Second son is watching TV, reading aloud everything he sees, as he does.

Second son: Spongebob. Ninja Turtles. Reboot.

John and I almost at the same time: That’s what your brother is doing.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at https://dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/

 


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The Road to Blogging

… is paved with good intentions.

It seems no matter how good my intentions this year, nothing seems to work out.

Case in point: today I spent a good two hours solid looking for a song they’ve been playing often on the radio to use for Bee’s Love Is In Da Blog prompt. I had the lyrics in my head, but stupidly, I decided to look for the name of the song–on Youtube, no less–rather than just Google the lyrics I had. By the end of the two hours, I couldn’t even remember the lyrics because I’d listened to so many songs that weren’t the one I was searching for.

So I put the radio on.

All day.

They didn’t play it.

Unless of course they did when I was visiting my mother in the hospital. Yes, she’s still there. I hoped to track down her doctor to find out the results of the CT scan she had done on her lungs on Sunday, to perhaps see why she’s getting worse instead of better.

No luck finding the doctor.

They told me to come back tomorrow morning.

Which isn’t likely going to happen.

Because we’re expecting freezing rain for 17 hours straight. Which means Alex won’t be going to school again. But hey, maybe instead of talking to the doctor and doing the work I was supposed to do, I can take down the Christmas tree.

That’s probably responsible for all the awesome luck I’m having this year.

Because superstition.

And if that doesn’t work and I don’t show up with the One-Liner Wednesday prompt, you’ll know the ice took down my power lines.

…

The road to blogging IS paved with good intentions, after all.


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#SoCS – Affirmative

Yes, I can affirm that today has been a challenging one with the child who is no longer a child but acts like one. I can state that unequivocally.

But is that the way the word “affirm” is really supposed to be used? An affirmation–the word affirmative–means yes. So to state something negative (like saying it’s been a bad day), would be a confirmation, wouldn’t it? Because, like, pros and cons. So is there such a thing as a proffirmation?

Gah! That makes my brain hurt.

Or is it a proclamation? Which would be the opposite of a conclamation. Haha.

I like making up words.

I do like affirming that I CAN do stuff. There are days when that’s easier than others. I can sometimes wake up in the morning and, for no apparent reason, feel like I can do anything.

Then there are days when I just want to throw in the towel because I can’t seem to do anything right.

And I have no idea why either of those things happen.

Except when I get a negative comment or review on my work and then I spend five minutes saying fuck it, I can’t write. What made me think I ever could?

I’m glad it only lasts five minutes. Most of the time.

So yeah, I’m hoping Alex will be able to go to school for a full week next week. I’m sure his behaviours are at least in part due to the fact that he’s getting bored staying home. I think he’s only been to school seven days so far this year.

But with this crazy weather …

Last week it was cold enough the balls off a snowman (the snowballs–get yer mind outta the gutter), and tomorrow we’re supposed to get freezing rain. Monday? Rain.

I may just take Alex to school on skates.

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/

This very late, very random, very made-up post was brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to see how you, too, can join in the fun. And read the other participants’ posts while you’re there! You’ll find all the links in the comments. https://lindaghill.com/2019/02/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-2-19/

 


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#JusJoJan 2019 Daily Prompt – Jan. 30th, and One-Liner Wednesday

When you realize that you said and heard many one-liners in the last week and you should have written at least one down because you’re gettin’ old and forgetful.

Here’s a random picture of summer, so I can remember what grass looks like.

Here are the general rules to follow for Just Jot it January:

1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. I’ll post the daily prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5), every day except for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness (SoCS) prompt–you’ll find that one on Friday morning at 9:30am. That daily post (i.e. this one) will be where you leave your link for others to find in the comment section. There will be a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday.

2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

(i) Make it one sentence.

(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.

(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

(iv) Enjoy yourself!

(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge.

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/

3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will appear at the top.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of the day. You can link any kind of jot back here. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link or close to your pingback.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.

8. Have fun!


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Dirty – #JusJoJan 2019 Jot #29

I’m currently writing the second book of what I hope will be a trilogy that’s set, in part, in a pub that features male strippers. While most people might consider that a book about strippers must be inherently dirty, I’m trying to make it clean inasmuch as everyone is consenting, the characters are just normal people, and there’s nothing forbidden or illegal about what they do.

In other words, I’m trying to keep it classy.

At the same time, I have to put my characters through some sort of moral torture, just to keep things interesting. I love a story that’s brimming with dilemma, human choices, and all kids of emotion. Though these books are meant to be funny, they’ll be filled with real life situations–maybe not ones that most normal people get into, but that anyone can relate to.

It’s a challenge, but a fun one.

You know what else is a challenge? My shower.

My hot water keeps shutting off without warning or reason, usually between five to ten minutes in. Usually while I have soap in my hair. It comes back on for a minute or two if I shut it off and on again, but because of the positioning of my tankless water heater, it takes a while to warm up. In the meantime, the water is so cold, it hurts.

So while I’m not dirty, I have a hard time convincing myself to brave the shower these days.

Because while I might be writing books about male strippers, I don’t need a cold shower, thank you very much.

The prompt word, “dirty,” for today’s post is brought to you by Jim! Thanks, Jim! To find his “dirty” post, click here. And say hi while you’re there!

It’s never too late to participate in Just Jot it January! Click the following link to find out how, and see all the other participants’ links in the comment section. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/01/29/jusjojan-2019-daily-prompt-jan-29th/


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#SoCS & #JusJoJan – Additionally …

When you saw the prompt for today, you might have wondered how you were going to fit AD (Anno Domini) into a post. I know I am. But what I just wrote works.

Additionally, you may wonder if you’re not a math-y person how you might fit in add. That works, too.

As for ads, this one never fails to crack me up.

I’m somewhat amazed at the fact that I’ve managed (with a little help of a few friends on occasion) to come up with a different prompt every week for almost five years. Having a document with a list of every prompt I’ve used helps me make sure I don’t repeat myself. Sure glad I started it early on.

There are so few things I’m organized in in my life. I tend to take things day by day–trying to plan anything usually ends up in disappointment unless I line up every detail far in advance. And even then …

I suppose it’s life with kids for almost everyone. Chaos is the norm and bonus points if everything comes together.

But as in “Whose Line Is It Anyway” and SoCS, the points don’t matter.

I’ve probably already posted this before, but it’s still the funniest thing ever. Don’t drink while you watch it, even if you’ve seen it before.

This post is part of Just Jot it January and Stream of Consciousness Saturday! If you’d like to take part or read the posts by the other participants, click the following link: https://lindaghill.com/2019/01/25/the-friday-reminder-for-socs-jusjojan-2019-daily-prompt-jan-26th/

SoCS badge by Pamela, at https://achronicalofhope.com/


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Zoomie – #JusJoJan 2019 Jot #24

When I posted the prompt last night for “zoomie,” brought to us by the lovely Bee (click here for her zoomie post), I did an obligatory check in the dictionary. It was as I thought — not there.

So I checked Google and discovered it’s the most awesome and appropriate word for what a dog does when it zooms around with excitement. I think the only dog I’ve ever had who didn’t do it indoors (thank goodness) was my Saint Bernard, George.

I was a bit zoomie myself as a child. I loved running. I wish I still loved it, but years of childhood exposure to second-hand smoke finished my lungs off. I have no doubt I’d be a runner otherwise.

Today, I’ve been zooming here and there for Alex’s sake. Yet another snow day. I’m hoping to be able to visit my mother in the hospital tomorrow. If it’s another snow day, I may just run away from home.

… okay, walk away from home. Semantics.

This Just Jot it January post was fun to write. Would you like to try? It’s never too late! Click on the following link to find out how, and to read all the other “zoomie” posts! https://lindaghill.com/2019/01/24/jusjojan-2019-daily-prompt-jan-24th/

 


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#JusJoJan 2019 Daily Prompt – Jan. 23rd, and One-Liner Wednesday

Found in my doctor’s office:

Photo depicts a cartoon of a man in a doctor’s office. The doctor is pointing at an ex-ray hanging on the wall, saying, “I’m also concerned about that other thingy growing next to your whatchamacallit.” The caption reads: The second opinion was even worse than the first.

Here are the general rules to follow for Just Jot it January:

1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. I’ll post the daily prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5), every day except for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness (SoCS) prompt–you’ll find that one on Friday morning at 9:30am. That daily post (i.e. this one) will be where you leave your link for others to find in the comment section. There will be a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday.

2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

(i) Make it one sentence.

(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.

(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

(iv) Enjoy yourself!

(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge.

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/

3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will appear at the top.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of the day. You can link any kind of jot back here. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link or close to your pingback.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.

8. Have fun!


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Echo-cho-ho #JusJoJan 2019 Jot #21

Before I get into my post, I want to start by saying that it’s Monday morning and I’m feeling positive! Alex is getting better, though he’s still not back to school. It was cold enough that the buses aren’t running today, so it’s likely too cold for a kid who’s getting over pneumonia to breathe out there. Tomorrow, though! Fer sher.

I remember the first time I heard my voice echo. I don’t remember where I was, but I do remember the frustration of not being able to hear the beginning of the word I uttered because it was always muffled by the end of the last echo. I recall trying to hear it by using shorter and shorter words, but even “Hi” came out “Hi-i-i.”

But the word “echo” got me thinking about other things. Because there’s really nothing truly unique in the world, everything is an echo of what came before it. Never exactly the same, just like a real echo. History repeats itself, stories are retold in different ways, yet nothing is original.

Makes you wonder how it all started, doesn’t it? I blame the chicken. Or was it the egg?

“Echo” is the prompt word for today, brought to us by Lady Lee. Thanks, Lady Lee! Click here to find her JusJoJan post for today. And say hi while you’re there!

 

It’s never too late to participate in Just Jot it January! Click the following link to find out how, and see all the other participants’ links in the comment section. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/01/21/jusjojan-2019-daily-prompt-jan-21st/


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Inch – #JusJoJan Jot #18

Inch is one of those words that, if I look at it too long, it stops making sense.

Inches are the only thing that make sense to me when I’m measuring height. Of course, if I don’t want to do math, feet are important too.

I just realized why my 12 times tables were so important in school. Are they still? In countries other than the U.S., that is.

I’d rather measure snow in inches–four inches sounds much better than ten centimetres.

Inches are about as far away I am from going to bed after a very busy day.

Inch is the prompt word for today, brought to us by John Holton. Thanks, John! Here’s the link to his “inch” post. Drop by and say hi to him, if you haven’t already!

 

It’s never too late to participate in Just Jot it January! Click the following link to find out how, and see all the other participants’ links in the comment section. It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2019/01/17/jusjojan-2019-daily-prompt-jan-17th/