Life in progress

Tag Archives: psychological


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Horror vs. Slice and Dice

I was having a little discussion, as I do, in the comments on this post with my friend Foolsquest on his blog, 642 Things about horror movies and what makes us laugh, and I got to thinking about the horror I write.

I don’t particularly like watching horror movies. I used to enjoy them when I was a kid, even though they scared the bejeezus out of me. I remember one night when I was about 15, babysitting a couple of young kids in this old century house. It had a clawfoot bathtub in the washroom. Anyway, I’d read and thoroughly enjoyed the book Carrie and the movie was on TV that night so I decided to watch it. I admit I was fine until the damned dream sequence at the end. I’m sure that bit wasn’t in the book. Suffice to say I was so grateful when the parents got home that night I almost hugged them. But I digress.

I DO, however, enjoy reading horror books. And I enjoy writing horror. What I really can’t stand are slasher films. You know the ones – they invariably include a half naked chick getting stabbed through the bare naked chest and a bunch of people who can’t seem to run as fast as the bad guy can walk. At best, they make me laugh, but for the most part, I think they’re a waste of time.

Now give me a psychological horror and I’m all over it. Even better if it’s in print, because there’s only so much psychology that can be related on screen, The Silence of the Lambs notwithstanding. So I got to thinking, maybe it’s the blood and gore I don’t like. But then I reminded myself of this bloody little gem I wrote just over a year ago and I realised that’s not necessarily all there is to it.

I think blood is okay. Sometimes it’s necessary to fully explore the world in which the characters live, if they’re very off balance or have particular … er … tendencies.

I just can’t see the value in watching pointless violence, just for the sake of violence. Do you?


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One-Liner Wednesday – Insignificant

“If you think you’re too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.” — Anita Roddick

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday, if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

The rules that I’ve made for myself for “One-Liner Wednesday” are as follows:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

Have fun!


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Purging

As I worked on sorting things out yesterday–things I haven’t seen in years that were in boxes around my house–I got to thinking about how good it feels just to get rid of stuff. It wasn’t until I had a thought-provoking conversation with my best friend, John, this morning that I understood why.

When we throw out or otherwise get rid of things we don’t need in our lives, it not only creates physical space for us to live, but it relieves the untidiness it occupies in our minds. For instance, every time I think about getting rid of a game I have already played, I think to myself, “Maybe I’ll play it again one day,” and so it stays. I realize a game isn’t that big a deal – it doesn’t take up must physical space in my house. But if I think about getting rid of it ten times in the space of a month, it adds up to nothing less than stress. Now if I think about ALL the things I have in my house that I don’t need… it really adds up. If I just get rid of it I no longer have the choice, and so I can stop thinking about it.

It’s like procrastination. As long as there is something to do, my mind is cluttered with it. And the more I think about all the projects I have on the go, the more I realize that they are just things which are occupying space in my life. I need to purge them by getting them done already.

As Lao Tzu was wise to point out,

We mold clay into a pot,
but it is the emptiness inside
that makes the vessel useful.

It’s not only the pot: it works equally for our homes and our minds.


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I Know What I Want

There are people in the world whose words are consistent with their actions and there are people who say one thing and then do another. Okay yes, there are times that the former type lapse into the latter, just as I’m sure there are people who are almost constantly doing things contrary to what they say might be tempted to actually do what they say. But it’s the latter type I see as not really knowing what they want out of life.

Of the latter type there seem to be two sub-types, as it were. There are those who say they’re going to do something and then never do. (We’re all guilty of that occasionally though, aren’t we? I was going back to school in September… ha. Maybe next year.) And there are those who say they feel a certain way but their actions don’t match. Take, for instance, a person who says he wants to meet, in person, a friend who he met online. He might say, “I’d love to get together,” but then always finds an excuse not to. Or a woman who is cheating on her husband: at night she may come home and tell him she loves him, and would go to the ends of the earth for him, but the moment he leaves the house in the morning she’s having it off with the pool boy.

Lying to the people around oneself aside, the dishonesty in these kinds of actions must take a toll on the psyche. In the case of the woman – does she want the happy life she portrays with her husband? Or is freedom what she really wants? Likely she has no real idea, so she juggles both, possibly while she attempts to figure it out. Even in the less life-altering case of the man, the stress of having to keep up the appearance of wanting something he doesn’t really want (which is shown in his actions) has to come with some kind of cost. The cost is in energy and on the conscience.

I strive to match my words with my actions as much as I possibly can. I try to be honest with myself, even if I can’t always be honest with everyone I meet. (Of course that hairdo looks wonderful on you!) In being honest with myself and for the important things with other people, I feel that I am able to know what it is I want in my life.

Do you know what you want? What you really really want?


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Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Time

I read an article yesterday that talked about what is important to us and how we spend our time doing things that aren’t important. The article went on to say what you do is what you are.

To a certain degree I agree. I write, I am a writer. I take care of my family, I am a mother. But what do I do that makes me simply a human being? I spend time thinking about what I can do to help others, I try to spend time relaxing and even more time attempting to be inspired by something that I would like to write. I don’t think it’s possible to ever really be doing nothing. Even when we’re playing mindless games or watching crappy television programs, our minds are active.

The article stated also that if we laze around doing useless things then our lives are useless. If we spend all our time working for things we think we need (extras, that is) then we’re probably even worse off, especially if our goal in life is to provide for our family. A family we rarely see.

Anyway, it got me thinking about what I spend my time doing. I often say I’m doing nothing, and it’s true that many days little gets accomplished that I can actually see with my eyes. The dishes pile up, the dusting and vacuuming don’t get done. But in all, my children are happy and I’m pretty content. Sitting with Alex, even if we’re both on our laptops, keeps him happy and avoiding Chris unless he wants something – and then being available to talk to him when he does – makes for a peaceful household. The dishes, the dust, the vacuum cleaner – they don’t really care what I do with my time.

This post is part of SoCS. Find this week’s prompt here and join in! https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/08/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-1614/

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

Badge by: Doobster at Mindful Digressions

P.S. Here’s the link to the article: http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/the-60-second-guide-to-bullshit-free-life/


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Distraction and Randomness

Am I the only one who is incredibly distracted by all the articles on Robin Williams? I think it’s the vast contradiction between the man who made us laugh and the exceptionally sad circumstances of his death that have me reeling so much over the news. I’ve tried to write more on the subject, but no matter what I write, it just makes no sense.

In other news, I went upstairs to go to bed the other night (it must have been more than a week ago by now) and Alex was talking in his sleep. Keep in mind that he doesn’t speak – he only signs. I actually walked to my room to the sound of applause. I’ve seen him do it before though. It’s quite funny to watch him have a conversation with someone in his dream. He giggles a lot as well.

When I was at the Museum of Nature in Ottawa I saw a Splitfin Flashlight fish. Try saying that three times fast.

Don’t forget to get your entries in for the badge design contest tomorrow!

That’s really all I can come up with at the moment. (See first paragraph.)

Blah.


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What do you believe?

We humans have some weird beliefs. I’m not talking about religion, or any type of organized superstition, as such. Can superstition even be considered “organized”? Hmm… that may be another blog post.

What I’m contemplating are those little things I feel so strongly about that I make them part of my everyday life.  And I know I’m not alone in this, because I’ve talked to people about this before.

For instance, when I have a feeling something bad is going to happen, I don’t tell anyone, lest it come true. On the other hand, if I feel something good is going to happen, I don’t tell anyone lest it not come true. Such a contradiction, isn’t it?

Then there are those things that I really want to do, that are possibly against the odds, (such as successfully selling a million dollars’ worth of books) but I talk about it over and over because I think that maybe the universe will make it true. Again, a contradiction.

There are so many of these little beliefs that people, not only me, hold dear.  What comes around, goes around can be linked to both the Golden Rule and Karma, but there are people who just simply believe it. Another common belief is that certain sequences of coincidences are a sign of something to come.

And how about our superpowers? So many people have them. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve sometimes been overcome by the feeling that I was going to get caught doing something I shouldn’t, and I’ve learned to always trust it. For instance when I was a teenager, if I had a friend from school over who wasn’t allowed in the house, I knew precisely when to get them out the door, even if my mother showed up unexpectedly early. Now I apply it more to getting caught speeding… not that I do so often, but I always manage to slow down long before I come across a speed trap. And no, they’re never in the same place. I’ve met people who know when the phone is going to ring, and people who can predict changes coming in their lives, and of those who are close to them.

All of these things require a certain amount of belief to cause them to keep coming back to us.

Do you have any odd beliefs? Superpowers? Please share!

 


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Method Writing

Writing characters who are vastly different to ourselves is something many of us do, or at least strive to do. It’s not easy to extract one’s personality completely from the page – we can only write what we know, after all. Yes, imagination is a far-reaching avenue, but how do we make it stretch as far as it can possibly go?

I have a theory that is probably not all that unique, but I’d like to share it anyway.

When I was in high school drama class, I learned about something called the Stanislavski Method, or, Method Acting. For a full description of what it is and how it came about click here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanislavski%27s_system In my own words I can tell you it’s a method of acting where the actor studies the motivations of the character and makes use of empathetic observations in order to “become” the character. Its a way of bringing about realism and believability.

This is the method I have striven to bring to my writing. To “become” the character I’m writing makes my dialogue and my character’s actions come to life. To do so I need to be able to concentrate and to empathize with what they are experiencing. I often try on their expressions and imagine, as though I’m watching them on a screen, moving in the ways that their emotions dictate. There are times, therefore, when I must go through a scene twice or more times in order to get the nuances just right from each perspective, but by doing so my scenes are much more lifelike and full of what makes my readers able to envision them.

I believe empathy is something that is essential to a writer. It’s why we people-watch; to gain insight on how people emote, their body language and what causes it. Without empathy, we can only write characters who are cardboard cut-outs of stereotypes.

I realise this is hardly a groundbreaking idea, but the Stanislavski Method of Acting is certainly one to pay attention to for a writer. The more we know our characters and what makes them tick, the more our readers are able to sympathize with their plights. We want our readers to love them or hate them. For this to happen our characters must display passion, and for them to display passion we as the writers must feel it first.

Do you ever imagine yourself watching your scene play out before you? Are you able to put yourself in your character’s shoes? I’m very interested to hear what other writer’s methods are.

 


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Universal Feeling – Stream of Consciousness Saturday (Emote)

I want people who read my fiction to fall in love with my characters. Not the bad guys necessarily, but at least the good guys. It took me a while to figure out how to do this, but in the end it always comes down to emotions. When my characters emote in a way that people can relate to, they feel a connection.

When I write, “Hank felt sad,” I know that my readers will look at the words on the page and think Hank is sad. Too bad for Hank. But if I write, “Hank cried,” people will read this and feel it, because it’s something that they do, or try not to do, when they are sad.

Emotions have a way of getting the best of us. They’re something we share, no matter our race, language, or beliefs. They are universal. And so when we see someone whose beliefs we don’t understand on the news, for instance, and they are crying, we feel their pain. At least those of us with compassion.

My best friend John told me a while ago that when we yawn when we see someone else yawn, it’s a sign that we’re not a psychopath. I know this has nothing to do with emotions, as such, but it does show our capacity for understanding what someone else is feeling. Empathy, compassion, sympathy… they’re all necessary for us to understand. And what makes good fiction worth reading as well.

This scattered post was brought to you in conjunction with SoCS: https://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/06/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-2814/

Click on the link and join in the fun!

 


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One-Liner Wednesday – A Truth

I stay sane by writing characters who are insane.