I don’t burp. At least not often. When I do, I make a point of telling everyone I know, “I burped! First time this year!” and so on … I don’t think I’ve made it past six. I don’t understand how people can make themselves burp. Just the idea makes me want to throw up. And I really hate doing that.
My son, Alex, does neither burp nor throw up. He has a g-tube–a tube in his stomach through which he feeds by means of a pump and formula–and at six months of age he had a fundoplication. Rather than try to explain it myself, here’s Merriam-Webster’s definition:
Medical Definition of fundoplication
: a surgical procedure in which the upper portion of the stomach is wrapped around the lower end of the esophagus and sutured in place as a treatment for the reflux of stomach contents into the esophagus — see nissen fundoplication
It means he’s not physically able to burp, let alone vomit. So if he needs to do either, I attach a large syringe minus the plunger to the end of a tube in his g-tube and I vent him, which is basically opening up his stomach to the air by means of a tube. The air comes out along with whatever else needs to, and he’s good to go. It’s like farting without the smell. I often wish I had a tube in my stomach through which I could release gas at will. Going through the regular channels can get painful.
But poor little baby Alex had reflux like nobody’s business. He threw up everything that went in. We tried drugs that didn’t help. We tried different formulas. I even pumped my own milk for six months while he was in the hospital. He couldn’t keep that down, either. (He finally came out of the hospital at eight months of age.)
So, yeah. Where was I?
Burping. Right. Can’t do it. To me it’s like giving birth to an air bubble.
And I’m leaving you with that thought.
This post with probably too much information is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find all the other bodily functions posts from other bloggers and join in too! https://lindaghill.com/2018/08/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-11-18/
August 13, 2018 at 6:28 am
I can’t make myself burp but if I drink tonic water which I do in summer, because the quinine stops me getting bitten. I do three or four consecutive burps. But like you I announce it to all, ‘pardon I burped.’ Your stream was a good one an authentic human one. 😂😄 ‘ parp!’
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August 15, 2018 at 10:22 am
I was always told to drink something fizzy if I wanted to burp — all it does is bloat me. 😛
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August 15, 2018 at 10:24 am
At least it is disguised by clothes you can not get away from a big burp especially if your face is scarlet and you announced it 😂😁
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August 15, 2018 at 5:51 pm
Haha! Indeed! 🙂
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August 12, 2018 at 2:35 pm
wow linda! that’s tough on him! how old is he? I once knew a child who was peg fed, it was really hard for her mom. xxx
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August 15, 2018 at 10:15 am
He’ll be 18 in October. It wasn’t easy at first, and it can still be very inconvenient, but we’ve adapted.
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August 12, 2018 at 10:34 am
LOL you weirdo! I am fairly certain I burp daily. If not, almost daily.
I can relate to wishing you could expel gas in a less painful and more technical way. Wouldn’t mind vomiting Alex’s way, either. Tidy and no need for mouthwash!
My son and my father both had feeding tubes at one point, and I must say, they’re a medical marvel ❤
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August 12, 2018 at 10:55 am
They really are! I do hope Alex will be able to do without his one day, though. 🙂
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August 12, 2018 at 11:23 am
I do, too, of course! 😀
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August 12, 2018 at 11:37 am
I know, my friend. Thank you. 😀
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August 12, 2018 at 10:11 am
The human body is really fascinating.
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August 12, 2018 at 10:54 am
It is!
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August 12, 2018 at 8:23 am
To burp or not to burp. In some countries it is considered polite.
💜💜
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August 12, 2018 at 10:54 am
Right? I’d be the most unpopular person in those countries. 😛
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August 12, 2018 at 11:12 am
Yes indeed 💜💝
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August 12, 2018 at 11:17 am
😉 ❤
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August 12, 2018 at 8:15 am
I am right with you on the gtube. Mom had one for five years. She could still burp, though; I’m assuming it’s the fundoplication that made the difference. Does Alex eat formula, or do you puree his food for him? I tried doing the puree-ing, but I couldn’t get enough calories into it while still having it thin enough to go through the tube. Do you belong to a tubie support group?
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August 12, 2018 at 10:53 am
Alex barely takes anything by mouth. Once in a while he’ll eat almost a small meal of solid (but cut up like you would a toddler) food, but I’ve been told not to give him so much as to make him tired, for fear he’ll aspirate.
And no, I’ve never belonged to a support group. I could lead one at this point–he’s almost 18 years old. 😛
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August 12, 2018 at 2:04 pm
Wow! Mom aspirated everything, so everything went down the tube.
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August 12, 2018 at 2:07 pm
It happened to Alex once–what a terrifying experience! I have it recorded here on the blog … hang on. There you go: https://lindaghill.com/2013/12/25/eddd-25-trust-your-instincts/
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August 12, 2018 at 2:50 pm
Mom only ran a low-grade persistent fever. She aspirated without ever knowing it, until the pneumonia dragged her down or her fever persisted more than a few days, and I took her to the doctor. Her doctor was totally on the ball, though. Alex is lucky his MOM is totally on the ball!
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August 15, 2018 at 10:19 am
Aspiration pneumonia is a truly scary thing. But with Alex’s heart condition on top of everything else, I’ve learned to keep a close eye on him.
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August 15, 2018 at 12:22 pm
Big HUGS!
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August 12, 2018 at 7:39 am
The first time I burn for the year might be right after the ball drops in Times Square.
Is the formula Alex takes through the tube designed to be easier for him to digest?
I used to make our daughter laugh (when she was little) because when I burp, I often make the sound ‘burp’ – what can I say, it’s a gift.
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August 12, 2018 at 10:50 am
Haha! That’s awesome, Dan! 😉
Alex’s formula when he was a baby was apparently already broken down as if it was digested before he got it. Didn’t help. Now, I’m not sure. But his body doesn’t try to bring it up anymore.
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August 12, 2018 at 3:47 am
Poor Alex!
I never burp in front of others…
Even Hubby
…
But over the years that has changed. But I still don’t like to in public…
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August 12, 2018 at 10:48 am
Almost every time I burp it comes out completely unexpectedly, loudly, and in public. I sound like a frog trying to get attention. SO embarrassing.
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August 12, 2018 at 11:53 am
😂
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August 12, 2018 at 12:33 am
I rarely burp (or belch) either, but I unabashedly release gas when necessary as it can be painful for me otherwise. One of my brothers, however, can fart on command, and rather loudly at that. His grandsons think it’s hilarious and try to imitate him.
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August 12, 2018 at 10:46 am
Haha! I had an uncle who could do that. He was quite proud of himself–I never saw the charm in it. 😛 😉
When I do burp, it’s totally accidental and unexpected, and usually quite loud, embarrassingly enough.
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