Life in progress

Category Archives: Funny


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One-Liner Wednesday – Snowed In

CAM00101So we got about two feet of snow yesterday, extending my four day weekend home with the kids to a five day weekend.

This

from Meanwhile in Canada @ facebook

from Meanwhile in Canada @ facebook

pretty much describes a few cities around these parts, not just Winnipeg.

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

#1linerWeds badge by nearlywes.com

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our new, very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


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One-Liner Wednesday – A Disco?

So on Sunday I walked into a restaurant and was greeted by the hostess, as you are. She glanced out the window and saw that there was an ambulance, lights flashing, at the seniors home across the street.

“Oh look at that,” she said. “An ambulance. It looks like a disco over there.”

I stared at her, a little flabbergasted, with a remark on the tip of my tongue that went something like, I doubt it does to the person the ambulance is there for. But I said nothing. Because once in a while, we all say something totally stupid.

 

Hey! Don’t forget the badge contest for One-Liner Wednesday! (Which, by the way, this post is NOT a good example of. In fact it’s a great example of how you can break the rules!) For details on the contest and to get your name (and/or your blog’s address) mentioned numerous times every week, click the link! https://lindaghill.com/2016/02/08/one-liner-wednesday-badge-call-for-submissions/ The contest closes Sunday and voting for the best badge starts Monday. Don’t delay – start designing now!

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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Tuesday Use It In A Sentence – Nuance

I love the word “nuance.” It depicts subtlety and refinement, not necessarily to make something elite, but rather to cause one to pay attention to detail. Which makes it rather funny to me that in my thesaurus, one of the synonyms for “nuance” is “shade.”

“Fifty Nuances of Grey.”

Do you think E.L. James would understand the irony?

The Tuesday Use It In A Sentence prompt is brought to you this week by Kelli at Forty, c’est Fantastique! Please click the link and join in today!


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One-Liner Wednesday – It really sucks

Woke up to a new message

Woke up to a new message on my fridge… I wonder who left it?

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It was a rough night of peeing everywhere and bumping into things. (Winston, not me) It took him a few tries to get used to going down the small step through the back door without his cone jamming between the slats, causing him to get stuck. He’s still sucking air occasionally, but he doesn’t seem to be in any discomfort. I sincerely hope this is the end of his troubles. I can’t afford any more. But hey, the good news is it was only $2,200 instead of $2,500! 🙄

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.” However, if you’d like to combine One-Liner Wednesday with Just Jot It January, go right ahead!

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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Just Jot It January 25th – Prestidigitation

Funny story: When I saw “prestidigitation” suggested as a prompt by my friend, the lovely Pamela, I have to admit I cringed a little bit. There’s a mouthful, I thought. I wonder what it means? Regardless of my initial reaction, I was looking forward to writing a post on it. It’s a fact that I work better under pressure, at least when writing is concerned. I believe in this fact so much that I forced myself to wait until I was ready to write this post to look the word up in the dictionary. When I did, I had to laugh at myself.

You see, as it turns out I have been writing about prestidigitation quite constantly, quite vigorously, and quite intently, for more than four years without realizing it. My novel, which took eighteen months to write and is on its seventh revision, is about a magician. Prestidigitation means to perform magic.

…

How did I not know this?!?

So thank you, Pamela. The word “prestidigitation” will find its way into my novel. And that page will be dedicated to you!

Speaking of prestidigitators, you may remember I met a very nice magician last summer and requested an interview with him, both for my own research and to share with the public. I’m quite embarrassed to say I still haven’t managed to use that interview anywhere, but I haven’t given up. I plan to try pitching it to a few more places but, if I’ve had no success by the end of March, I’ll post the interview here. Please look forward to it!

The “Prestidigitation” prompt is brought to you by Pamela at Butterfly Sand. If you don’t already know her, please click on the link and have a read!

JJJ 2016

To find the rules for Just Jot It January, click here and join in today. It’s never too late! And don’t forget to ping back your January 21st post here!


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One-Liner Wednesday – It’s not what you think

On Saturday, I went to a Japanese restaurant. It reminded me of the last Japanese restaurant I ate in, which was a Mister Donut.

In Tokyo.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.” However, if you’d like to combine One-Liner Wednesday with Just Jot It January, go right ahead!

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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One-Liner Wednesday – This may become a regular “thing”

I came into the kitchen to find this.

CAM01258
“kgb got me help!” written on the fridge door.

This is what happens when your kids can spell.

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.” However, if you’d like to combine One-Liner Wednesday with Just Jot It January, go right ahead!

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!


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Just Jot It January 9th – Title #SoCS

To cheat or not to cheat? (I’d say, “that is the question,” but I’ve already gone the Shakespeare route this week, so I won’t. But it’s stuck in your head now, isn’t it? Ah ha!)

I was going to write about how hard it would be for me not to cheat on this prompt, since I have no idea what movie title popped into my head when I decided to make that the prompt. I was doomed to fail from the start. I missed out on the element of surprise because it’s hard to surprise yourself. BOO! Nope. Didn’t work. See? Try it at home. It’s safe.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. An earworm. Have any of you ended up with one due to this prompt? Because an earworm doesn’t have to just be a song played over and over in your head after hearing it once. It can be a line. A line that becomes a mantra. And then you get stuck on it and it’s like there’s a broken record playing in your head. You hear the line and then the little “blp” that means the needle has jumped the grove and then there’s that line again. I really love vinyl (I know I’ve mentioned it before – I even wrote a post on it) but it can be very fragile and can become unreliable. Not that CDs can’t. I remember being told when CDs first came out that even if you broke them, they’d still play. What a load of crap. My son ran a CD over with his lion (it was a little four-wheeler toddler scooter type thing that he sat on) and it completely destroyed my disc.

Where were we? Oh yeah. The Lion King. “It’s the circle of liiiife…”

You’re welcome.

 

The “title” prompt is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click here to join in, and leave your link for everyone to see!

SoCS badge 2015

JJJ 2016

To find the rules for Just Jot It January, click here. Join in today! It’s never too late! And don’t forget to ping back your January 9th post here at this post.

Note: If you combine SoCS and JusJoJan in one post, make sure you ping back to both this post and the Friday Reminder post.


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Just Jot It January 7th – Robust

Robust isn’t a word I use often. If I did I would perhaps say that I enjoy a robust wine, or blend of coffee. By that I would mean extremely flavourful. But. (There’s always a “but” in there, right?)

I looked up “robust” in my trusty Thesaurus and came up with some very interesting synonyms. Among them are: athletic, hard-headed, lusty, realistic, rollicking, straightforward, and unsubtle.

… How…? I mean how do you describe, say, a person as having all these qualities?

“The athlete rollicked straightforwardly into a lusty yet realistic dance, with an unsubtle hard-headedness. Because that’s who he was.”

Or even worse:

“The wine rollicks over the tongue with an athletic, lusty twist before heading straightforwardly to the belly warming your insides in an unsubtle, hard-headed… really… I don’t even.”

Who knew the word “robust” could mean so many things? For a six-letter word, it’s got to be the most confusing one in the English language.

This “Robust” prompt is brought to you by Michael at Morpethroad. Click on the link and have a read, and tell him I said hi! And thank him for the crazy prompt!

JJJ 2016

To find the rules for Just Jot It January, click here and join in today. It’s never too late! And don’t forget to ping back your January 7th post here!


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One-Liner Wednesday – Enough Said

CAM01254

“no coffee no workee”

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Anyone who would like to try it out, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.” However, if you’d like to combine One-Liner Wednesday with Just Jot It January, go right ahead!

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Have fun!