Life in progress


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#SoCS – Holidays and Responsibilities

I have to buy Easter eggs for next weekend to hide, for my youngest son to find. It’s going to be interesting this year with the puppy, making sure the right being finds the eggs. Apparently chocolate isn’t good for dogs anymore. I used to give it to my mother’s poodles all the time – no one told me not to. It didn’t seem to cause them any problems.

I must be a terrible mother. I hate deadlines to start with, but holiday deadlines are the worst. Easter, Christmas, birthdays… even getting ready for the day after Labour Day when the kids go back to school is a huge chore for me. I think it’s because I put so much pressure on myself to get it done. It’s more the stress of knowing I have to do it than actually having to do it. Shopping, that is. I really can’t stand shopping. But not as much as I hate deadlines.

I got egged once. You know how sometimes kids go around and egg cars at Hallowe’en? Well one Hallowe’en night when I was a teenager – it might have been either the last or the second-last year I went out trick or treating – I sat down on the curb to have a rest and a car came by and someone threw an egg out the window and hit me square in the middle of the forehead. Luckily I was close to home – I went and got changed and went back out again.

I have no idea where I was going with that story. But there it is.

This post doesn’t feel very much like Stream of Consciousness. I think I’m too stressed over the eggs. I wish there was a way to get out of my mind once in a while, you know?

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This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and join in! https://lindaghill.com/2016/03/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-1916/


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The ONLY way to get rid of the hiccups (hiccoughs)

Whether you spell them “hiccups,” “hiccoughs,” or “damnit-I-wish-they’d-go-away,” they’re a plague upon the existence of mankind. They can be embarrassing: I’ve dealt with them as a receptionist at a busy magazine company, (when you have to answer the phone, they’re sure to be the loudest) and whilst buying booze. Try walking up to a cashier with a bottle of wine and the hiccups, and you’ll know what I mean.

And they’re always annoying. No matter how slowly you count to ten whilst holding your breath, they can last for hours. The moms reading this will probably remember having a hiccuping baby in their bellies… cute at first, but not at 3am. I’ve heard horror stories of people having them for days! Can you imagine?

So how do we make them stop? Everyone has their “sure-fire way” to end the hiccups, but mine is by far the best. Only one drawback – you need a friend to help. The ONLY absolutely reliable way to get rid of the hiccups is, drink an entire glass of water with your fingers in your ears. I promise, it works every single time.

If you don’t have a friend, the other way that works is, stand on your head and sing the “Star-Spangled Banner” while juggling three oranges with your feet. At least that’s what I heard.

How do you get rid of the hiccups?


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Bad Reviews

About a month ago I was approached on Goodreads, completely at random, by a man (I think it’s a man – the name s/he uses is genderless) who was looking for people to give his novel away to in exchange for an honest review. I thought about it for a while. I looked up the book on Amazon and saw it already had a few good reviews, and then I accepted on the condition he wasn’t in too much of a rush. He said fine.

A couple of days ago I started reading it, but I was struggling. The story itself is so-so, but the writing is horrible. At least by my standards. Yes, I know, I’ve been at this editing thing for so long that I’ve started mentally editing every single thing I read. I’m critical to a fault. But really… the writing is bad. So I did what any decent author who doesn’t want trashy reviews of her own work would do, and I emailed the author, telling him he needed an editor. Because he said he’d just received a bad review, I suggested he pull his novel, fix it, and put it back up for sale. Along with a few examples I gave him on what he could improve, I gave him the choice that I, a) keep reading and give the best review I can, b) stop reading and forget about it, or, c) put it down and start again after he altered it.

He chose to leave it as is, and said thanks, but no thanks. Just delete it from my files.

Now here’s my dilemma: to write bad reviews for novels written by independent authors or not? I’m not talking necessarily about the aforementioned one, though it has crossed my mind that maybe I owe it to the public to let them know what they’re potentially spending $5.99 on, (yes, $5.99 for a first time author’s unedited novel) but in general. How does one author crush another author’s dream? And it really is crushing. Bad reviews for an unknown, independent author can, and probably will, mean no sales.

You may say that there’s always something positive to comment on, but if I only mention the good stuff, it’s my own reputation on the line. Say, for instance, I write in my review, “A fast-paced, thrilling ride full of twists and turns! I couldn’t wait to get to the end to find out what was going to happen!” but on the way to the end, the reader who took my review to heart comes across a line that should have read, “She turned to look out the windshield,” but that actually reads, “She threw her face at the windshield,” (an actual line from the book I was reading). Is that reader going to think I missed such a painfully painful detail? And if so, is the reader going to avoid my novels like the proverbial plague?

It’s been bothering me all day, this dilemma. It’s a question of morals, compassion, and self-preservation in regards to my career. I won’t review this particular book, but the situation is bound to arise again, unless I decide to just stop writing reviews, or only write them for good books.

What would you do? Or, as a reader, what do you wish I’d do?

 


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#SoCS – Bitch Wanted

I have a week off without my youngest son. Balls of fun, right? Yeah, except I have so much to do I’m stuck with what-do-i-do-first-itis. You know that feeling, right?

So I was going to sit down and start reading SoCS posts this morning with my coffee. But then I thought, I don’t really want to do that before I write my own, because then I’ll know what everyone else is writing about and I’ll try to avoid those topics. And how many topics can you come up with from the word, “ball”?  I suppose there are a few.

Like the puppy’s, for instance.

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Winston

I’m thinking about getting him neutered. He’s started humping on a daily basis, pretty much anything he can get his front legs wrapped around. Which is natural. But before it gets to be too much I’m going to have to make a decision. I still have time – he’s only four and a half months old. But I hesitate, first, because he’s already been through major surgery and I don’t want to put him through it again, and second, because he’s such a good-natured, laid-back animal that I think the world deserves more like him. Would I find anyone who would want to mate their bitch with him? He who is a mix of beagle, possibly basset hound, and only god knows what else? Maybe not. I should probably look into classifieds for that sort of thing. But who would look for stud services and where would they look? Craigslist comes to mind…

Dating sites for dogs?

I can see it now: Bitch wanted. Must have shots.

Stud Muffin for hire – his name is actually Muffin.

Wanna get lucky tonight? Look at these puppies.

Well-hung and energetic. What? I was talking about my jowls?

Wanted: tail. Prefer long and fluffy.

Okay, you get the picture. We’re here ’til Thursday. Try the veal. Milk bone for dessert…

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I’m off to read SoCS posts next. You can participate in Stream of Consciousness Saturday too! Just click here for details, and to read the rules: https://lindaghill.com/2016/03/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-1216/ If you join in I’ll read yours too!

 


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The Social Repercussions of Writing vs Speaking

It started with an appointment. My son’s behavioral specialist was to go his school to talk to the teacher to observe him on Tuesday, and then come to see me today. On Tuesday afternoon I received a note from the teacher to say the specialist had canceled due to the flu. I, therefore, assumed she wouldn’t be coming here either. Sure enough, I received a phone call this morning from the behavioral specialist’s office. What happened during that phone call is what’s has me… worried? I wouldn’t go that far: thoughtful, perhaps, ever since.

The nice lady who called me only wanted to let me know my appointment was canceled and would be rescheduled. In order to seem, I don’t know, friendly, or sociable, I felt the need to explain that I already knew the behavioral specialist was sick, since she’d canceled Tuesday’s appointment. But even while I was explaining this, my inner editor was screaming at me, “This is not important to the plot! She doesn’t need to know! She’s probably got a dozen more phone calls to make – let her go!” It’s this conciseness with which I feel the need to write, that makes me wonder what it’s doing to me socially.

And isn’t that true for all of us, to some degree? Whether we’re trying to take shortcuts in speech (how many times have you heard someone utter “lol” out loud? Do you do it?) or cutting ourselves short, as I feel I should have done this morning, it has to be affecting the way we socialize. Writing has become the norm, and speech secondary. We spent far fewer hours with pen and keyboard even twenty years ago, unless it was part of our job, versus talking on the phone or in person. Now our lives are largely lived with the written word.

Writing has always been, in a practical way, different from speech. Drafting a formal letter, whether the recipient is a business associate or a lover, is done with care. Choosing the right words is essential to get the point across. With this in mind, are we bloggers actually better at speaking? Has the practice of finding the correct way to say things, and the editing that goes into many of our posts, improved our skills of communication across the board? And have Facebook and Twitter minimalized our speech to the bare necessities?

I have to wonder how we are evolving. And really, that’s what it is. An evolution of mankind who, at one time walked miles to convey a message, now looks no further than his pocket. We’re not quite to the point that our hands get more use than our tongues, but will we, one day, end up with wrists that bend in odd ways, and mouths that are used only to consume food? But I’m getting ahead of myself (and everyone else).

How we socialize with one another–how we communicate–cannot not be affected by what we spend three quarters of our time doing in order to communicate. Small talk is how we connect with one another. It’s how we discover our shared sentiments. It’s what we do on Facebook and Twitter, but without the human interaction–or at the very least it’s human interaction with a machine as a buffer. Will there come a day when we save our small talk only for such situations as taking pictures of our food on social media, and keep our direct interaction as a form of necessity? I think you really have only to look around a restaurant, or peer into people’s kitchens at dinner time these days for the answer.


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My Top Ten List of Annoying Things for This Week

It seems to me that, though life in general is made up of them, there are weeks when little annoyances build up rather substantially. Or perhaps I’m just less tolerant of them. During weeks like these, it’s important to keep a sense of humour lest I end up totally bonkers due to the stress of it all. Failing the ability to laugh at my woes in the privacy of my own closet (which is where the men in the white coats SHOULD NOT LOOK FOR ME!! IGNORE THE GIGGLES COMING FROM THE CLOSET!!!) this blog enables me to share my madness with all of you. Aren’t you lucky? Here we go.

My Top Ten List of Annoying Things for This Week

  1. Having a fantastic idea for a blog post that’s so freaking good that I didn’t need to write it down.
  2. Famous last words.
  3. Getting all ready to have a shower and then realizing I need to wash my clothes first.
  4. Snow days. All one of them.
  5. Firefox crashing every evening at about 7. What’s up with that?
  6. Having a to-do list that’s longer than there are hours in a day.
  7. Meat in the fridge that won’t wait just one more day before it expires. C’mon, meat! Have a bit of decency!
  8. Not being able to get more fridge magnet letters from Toys ‘r’ Us.
  9. on the bright side, the accent is correct

  10. Chocolate. More specifically, orange Kit Kat. Why does it have to be so mouth-wateringly delicious?!
  11. Not being able to come up with ten annoying things, damnit!

So, how has your week been so far?


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Like, #SoCS

Can’t you just stop?!

That’s what I wanted to say to a teenager today as I walked past her. She was recounting some story or another to two of her friends and I swear, this is what her speech was like:

So he was like, “what?” like I don’t, like, know and it was like, “haven’t you ever like, liked someone before?” and he was like, “no,” and so I like…

and on and on it went. I seriously almost stopped to ask her if she could utter three sentences without saying the word “like” once. But I didn’t in case doing so caused her to have, like, a seizure or something.

It’s similar (see what I did there?) to listening to a hockey player give an interview.

And uh, I did my best out there, and uh, I think we played a great game, and uh…

Makes you wonder if they teach it in hockey school. Luckily they don’t hesitate to shoot the puck the way they pause between clauses.

And then there’s those who can’t seem to help dropping the f-bomb (I really hate that phrase – f-bomb) between every third and fourth word. Yeah, I won’t – don’t need to – write an example. Do I? Nah. We’ve all heard it. It can get very uncomfortable too, depending on who you’re with. Chances are there’s no point asking the f-‘ing person to stop – they’ll probably do it all the more because what are they doing it for in the first place other than to get attention?

I suppose we all have our speech patterns though. I think I see mine when I write, which makes me more aware of them. I catch my characters sounding like me… I wish they wouldn’t.

 SoCS badge 2015

This, like, post is brought to you by, like, Stream of, like, Consciousness Saturday. You can, like, click here to join in. Do it, like, now, okay?


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#SoCS – Winter Tires on Deck

When I lived in Quebec I had no choice – winter tires are mandatory. If you get caught without them after, I think, the middle of November you get a ticket. If you get in an accident without them your insurance doesn’t cover you. I had a great mechanic there. I think he liked me. Then again, I spent thousands of dollars at his shop getting my transmission fixed on my Montana. When I bought snow tires from him he offered to store my all-seasons for free for the winter. He labeled them “Linda Montana” so he’d know who they belonged to.

Anyhow, they’re talking about enforcing the same law in Ontario. I really didn’t see much difference when I drove on snowy roads, if any, so it seems like an unnecessary expense. But there you go. Luckily I don’t need a mechanic in my life anymore. My best friend is one. Wow, did that sound bad? Can’t change it now. Sorry John.

It’s really cold out today. Finally. -38 with the wind. I was afraid my car wouldn’t start, but it did. Not without complaint though. I’m looking forward to the warmer weather, though I have a new problem…

The puppy has been going outside to do his business, but my yard has too many things in it that can hurt him, so he’s restricted to the deck. My deck has become a poop deck. It needed a good cleaning anyway, so as soon as the nice weather comes we’ll scrub it, sand it, sandblast it, whatever it takes to really really get it clean and then stain it. I just hope the puppy isn’t too attached to it being his personal toilet. Dinner on the deck could get interesting.

No one without a boat should have a poop deck.

This post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday: https://lindaghill.com/2016/02/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-1316/

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And Love Is In Da Blog: https://justfoolingaroundwithbee.wordpress.com/2016/02/12/loisindabl-prompt-for-13feb16-stream-of-consciousness/ because I love my puppy even if he poops on my deck.

Love Is In Da Blog


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Inspiration and Copyright Infringement – How Fine Is The Line?

There are, arguably, seven basic plots. I won’t list them here, but you can find them if you click this link: The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories by Christopher Booker. All seven can be said to result from real life inspiration. While fiction can take these inspirations to incredible heights, the ideas begin from somewhere.

So we have inspiration, yes?

It was brought to my attention this morning that there has been a lawsuit taken up by Sherrilyn Kenyon, bestselling author of the Dark-Hunter paranormal romance series, accusing Cassandra Clare, bestselling author of Mortal Instruments and the Shadowhunter series, of copyright infringement. (Read the article here: http://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/feb/10/sherrilyn-kenyon-sues-cassandra-clare-for-wilfully-copying-her-novels )

In this particular case, it seems to me a clear case of copying: if you read the exhibit (click here) given in the lawsuit, the infinite monkey theorem comes to mind as the only other possible explanation, particularly when Clare denies even having been inspired by Kenyon’s work. Either that or both authors are the same person and the lawsuit is an attempt to drum up business.

…hey, there’s an idea for a novel. You see what I mean? THAT’s inspiration.

While there is a lively discussion going on in the FaceBook group I belong to about whether or not an author can own an idea, and how within a genre certain aspects of creations (worlds, characters, fantastical traits) will keep popping up, there has to be a line upon which copying and inspiration is drawn. And my FaceBook acquaintances have a very good point. Though fiction is inspired by real life, fiction also inspires more fiction. How many novels and screenplays have been inspired by the character of Dracula? Countless. Although Dracula may be a bad example because its copyrights have expired, normally permission must be given to copy a story. But what about inspiration? I’m sure Ann Rice and Stephenie Meyer had no issues over creating vampires as their main characters. The point is, they created their own brand of vampires, expanding on the inspiration they received from the Master.

Just as there are only so many plotlines, world building is similarly restricted to having features that we humans can relate to; characters as well. There is a common fear among authors that we are infringing upon each other’s ideas, and these restrictions are to blame. Of course we can’t read everything, just to make sure, but when we do read something that inspires us, I believe it’s the mark of a good author that he or she can expand that inspiration to create something new from it.

So we have copyright infringement vs. inspiration. Is there a magic number of similarities which define where the line is and when it’s crossed? If so, what is it? Have you ever read something that you think crosses the line? Let’s discuss.


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Tuesday Use It In A Sentence – Oasis

Is it weird that I remember the band, Oasis, more for the fights between Liam and Noel Gallagher than I remember their songs?

I suppose the theory that there’s no such thing as bad publicity is true. We humans seem to have a better memory for the negative than the positive.

The Tuesday Use It In A Sentence prompt is brought you this week by My Loving Wife at A Word Adventure. Click the link and join in today!