Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!
I’m really bad at remembering to take my reusable shopping bags to the grocery store with me. Today was no exception – I had to go back into the house to get one. So I get to the store, pick up the two things I need and as the cashier rings them through, I say, “Oh! I need a bag.” So she sells me a disposable plastic one for 5¢.
It’s not until I go to pick up one of my items that I remember I have my reusable bag tucked under my arm. Yes, I forgot I remembered.
The cashier and I had a good laugh.
Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!
I’m not going to lie – I published (and will publish again) my book for cash. Considering the only job I’ve had in the last fifteen years is a paper route, what else am I to do? But publishing, and to make cash isn’t why I write. I do that for me and because I can’t not write down the things that are constantly coming into my head. So much of the stuff I see and hear in life, the stuff I feel too, inspires me.
And, of course, the stuff I see other people feel. I’ve wondered why I write romance. I don’t read a lot of it. I’ll often read books about relationships, but I don’t devour Avon’s publications like many do. I think I’ve come up with why I write it though. Psychology and love. Feelings. For me, writing about love is a passion borne of countless fantasies, inspired by some of the greatest love stories ever told. I’ll never write a bodice-ripper, nor anything shallow. I could, but I won’t. Because for me there has to be something deep about a story. Something… something disturbing. Something that will pull on my heartstrings, or make me laugh or cry or cringe. And yeah, sometimes the things I write make me cringe. But I only write them if they are “true.”
In the meantime, there’s the other stuff I do not-for-cash. Being a mother. I think the only reason we stay-at-home moms don’t get paid is because not even the 1% could afford us. Take my today for instance: I’ve dealt with a behaviorally challenged teenager who has beat up the dog, pounded my cell phone on the kitchen table, broken one of his movies, hit me, and then sat on my lap for cuddles when he found out he couldn’t go for a ride on the city bus. I drove the other kid to a movie and back, played “Uno” ’til I was seeing double, and changed a bed because the dog peed on it. And how much money did I make for all this? Same as I have for the last fifteen years.
My novelette, All Good Stories is on sale today! It’s a romantic comedy, complete with pirates, a parrot, and a Viking. What could possibly go wrong? Lighthearted and fun, it’s perfect to enjoy over a lunchtime or two. It’s available for the low cost of 99¢, or the equivalent in whichever country you live, on both Amazon for Kindle here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01JQWMQAE
The Kobo site has a preview of the book. I plan to figure out how to set one up on Amazon soon. In the meantime, here are the first two chapters:
Aarin, The Topless Pirate
Jupiter bounded into my book store with an extraordinary spring in her step.
“I finished it!” she proclaimed, beaming much like the ray of sunshine that fell upon the counter every fair morning at this time of year.
“Finished what?” I asked. As if I didn’t know. She’d spent months bemoaning the grueling process of editing her novel.
“Stop it, Xav.” Jupiter had a peculiar way of shortening my name when she was annoyed at me. Her eyes narrowed and her lip lifted crookedly at the ‘V’ as she elongated it. She was very cute when she did it, which made me want to annoy her all the more.
“Wait, let me guess. Your novel?” I teased.
“YES!”
I wished, not for the first time, as she bounced up and down in her spring jacket that we were more than just friends.
“Does that mean you’re finally going to share it with me?” Leaning forward on the counter, I rested my chin in my hand to affect nonchalance. Deep down, I was as excited as she was.
“Of course I’ll let you read it.” She dug through the suitcase she called a purse. After a moment, she pulled out a bound stack of papers. “Aarin, The Topless Pirate,” she announced as she plopped it down in front of me.
“Sounds promising.” I glanced at the title page, which stated only the title, then back to my best friend. “What’s it about?”
“It’s um… It’s about a pirate who goes to sea.”
“And is the pirate topless?” I sat up straight. Visions volleyed around in my mind of breasts bared to the slightly chilled ocean breeze.
She smiled wickedly. “You’ll have to read it to find out.”
I picked up the manuscript and slid it onto the shelf behind the counter. “I’ll read it later.”
She stared, wide-eyed. “You’re not serious.”
“It doesn’t sound that interesting. It can wait.”
“But…” She didn’t look as though she was going to cry, exactly, but the distress on her face was enough to make me waver.
“Sell it to me,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“Make me want to read it. Tell me what it’s about.”
“It’s about a pirate. A topless pirate. Who goes to sea.”
“…and?”
“And what? Isn’t that enough?”
“Is there sex? Is there a sunburn involved?”
“Fine! Don’t read it then.” She turned sharply and stalked out of the store.
Feeling bad about my little April Fool’s Day joke, I watched until she disappeared around the corner before I pulled the manuscript back out. I turned back the title page fully expecting to be properly titillated, only to find a photocopied picture of a crusty old pirate with his back facing the camera. He wore nothing but a three-cornered hat.
That we share the same sense of humor makes it no wonder Jupiter and I have been best friends since elementary school.
Bob The Blogger
Bob was a novelist. He was also a blogger. To round out the combo, to make it a trio (because Bob adored the number three), he referred to himself as a Serial Alliterator, which meant he loved alliterations. His blog profile sported a selfie of a previously pencil-thin Bob in the bathroom mirror, wearing nothing but a wicked grin. Though he stated in his profile that he loved the outdoors, since his foray into blogging he had seldom seen the sun. Secretly, he called himself Blob the Blogger.
Today, Bob is excited because yesterday he met Jupiter online. They met on Bob’s blog after Bob blogged about writing a novel. He and Jupiter spent three hours commenting back and forth. Jupiter was single, and she was writing a novel as well.
Tomorrow, if he wasn’t too tired from using the treadmill, Bob planned to write Jupiter three poems. His poems would employ many uses of alliteration; they would contain the letter ‘J’ as often as Bob could manage. They would not contain the first letter of Jupiter’s best friend’s name. As far as Bob was concerned, he needed no excuse to leave the letter ‘X’ out of Jupiter’s joyous poetry. No justification at all.
Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!
As a subtitle to this post, I should write, “And What Turns You Off?”
The reason I ask: I’ve been told by the experts that I should be “spamming” my friends on my blog, and on all other social media, in order to entice everyone to buy my new novelette, All Good Stories. I told the experts, but I don’t want to do that to my precious blogland friends! but the experts were insistent. “Choose between your friends and your success!” they said. Chanted, really. It was like a waking nightmare until I thought, why don’t I just ask my friends what they think?
So, friends, let’s start with what convinces you to hit that “Buy It Now” button when you’re considering the purchase of the book.
Initially, for me, the cover has a lot to do with it. We do, in fact, judge a book by its cover. The artwork has to be attractive AND hint at what might be inside. It has to make me ask questions. Like, why the parrot? But it’s not only the front! The back (or the blurb in the case of an ebook) is a crucial part of my decision. It not only has to make me want to read the book, it has to be free of errors and give me a hint, through its voice, of what I can expect on the inside.
Reviews and recommendations come next. Even if they’re not jumping off the page to say “This was the best thing ever!” there has to be some consistency to them. For example, “This made me laugh!” and “I chuckled when I read this!”
But then there are those authors who keep on and on and on. Some of us can ignore it, turning it into white noise. I especially tend to disregard an ad if I’ve already bought the All Good Stories book. Then again, seeing “Buy it today!” or “Pre-order now, only 99 cents!” really seems to get under other people’s skin. There has to be a balance! Am I right?
What do you think? What’s most important to you? And would you spend .99¢ to shut me up? (Please see the link at the top right-hand corner of this page.) 😀
When I came up with this week’s prompt, my outlook on “art” was so very plain. I was thinking, you know, art, music, writing… the “arts.” But now that I’m writing this post I’m realizing that everyone has an art that they’re good at. I might be an okay writer, and you might be a proficient draw-er, but how about all the other things we can be artful with?
The art of manipulation is one that comes to mind. Very big in the news these days – politics in particular. And how about the art of wine-making? That art is currently my friend. But hey, I only bottle it. My friend Al is the expert.
Some people turn their bodies into art.
Hell, some people do it daily before they’ll walk out the door.
I’ve never been one for make-up. I’ll put some on once in a blue moon… actually, there are more blue moons that have happened in my lifetime than there are occasions when I’ve put on make-up. I’m a little awestruck at how some women find the time to do it on a regular basis. Like women (or parents in general) who have the time to work outside the home and then come home and take care of their families.
We finally did the lemonade stand today (speaking of parenting). There was no art put into the lemonade itself. It came out of a carton. But Alex did make up some nice signs. Three of them said “Lemonade 25¢” and the one we put up down the street said “Lemonade $25.” Needless to say, we didn’t get a lot of traffic from that direction. Having said that, one man actually gave us $10 for 3 glasses, so we were close!
Apart from that it’s been a rough day. The dog has found a way under the fence into the neighbour’s yard, so I can’t let him into my back yard anymore. At least not until I can get some extra boards nailed up. Luckily he didn’t decide to take a dip in their inground swimming pool.
Escaping is an art, isn’t it? Yeah, let’s go with that to get me back on track before I end the post.
Do you ever read a poetic description of a facial expression in a novel, such as: “She looked at me as though I’d just vomited in her shoe,” and try the expression yourself, to see what it might have looked like?
Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!
When I had my first child, I was told it was best to rock him about 60 beats per minute – the same as the average heart rate. I paid attention to that, and now it’s funny how I use that habit. Having a child (my third) with a heart condition makes it necessary to check his pulse occasionally. I can usually tell without looking at a clock if it’s fast or slow. Makes you wonder how they came up with how many seconds there should be in a minute, doesn’t it? And how it works out that our hearts beat, on average, the same number of times the clock ticks by the seconds in an hour, a day, a month, and a year. It’s like we power the universe!!!
Mind blown yet? Mine is.
My first child flew the coop today for the first time. Literally. He’s gone to Florida to see his girlfriend. It was his third time on a plane (we went to England together in 2007) and his first time on one alone. He must get that from me. So I’m looking after his cats for the next week. He didn’t ask about them when he texted me to say he’d made it. Girlfriend. Right.
My second son has the travel bug too. He wants to go everywhere, but he can’t go alone. That darned Autism thing. And my third son – I’m sure he’d love to go places too. But with his health conditions, insurance would be astronomical. Which leaves him with going only one way… up.
To the moon, Alex! Haha. I actually make myself laugh sometimes.
I’d just finished dining alone when the waiter came to clear my table and ask me if I was ready to pay.
“Will that be all on one bill?” he asked.
Now, to be fair, it’s common practice in Canada when two people are dining together to ask them if they want two separate bills, so he must have been asking out of habit. However, it was all I could do to resist saying, “No, split it down the middle. My imaginary friend will pay half after I leave.”
Anyone who would like to participate, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do,
you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a ping back, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a ping back from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!
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