Life in progress

Tag Archives: humour


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One-Liner Wednesday – When messing it up gets it waaayy wrong

Here in Canada when we want to check the weather, we go to The Weather Network. I got my tongue twisted over it the other day and came out with The Nether Wetwork. Good for a giggle, but oh, the implications.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/


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298. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, June 25th, 4:00pm
Marty (and Zerg, the Undefeatable)

 

Marty sits at the window. Zerg, the Undefeatable takes the seat beside him.

Marty: Watch out.

Zerg, the Undefeatable: Sorry. This costume is a bit big.

Marty: A bit big? Man, couldn’t you have gotten changed when you got where ever it is you’re going?

Zerg, the Undefeatable: Not really. It took three hours to get into this thing.

Marty: Who are you supposed to be, anyways?

Zerg, the Undefeatable: I’m Zerg. The Undefeatable.

Marty kicks him in the shins.

Zerg, the Undefeatable: Ouch! What was that for?

Marty: Just checking.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, June 26th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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Sorry

I haven’t been around much this week. I’ve been the victim of the attack of a noxious antibiotic. A vile, loathsome, yucky antibiotic. Seriously, I was sick as hell the other day. And though it’s improving since I switched to penicillin, I’m still kinda gurgling, you know?

But Tuesday. Oh, Tuesday. Have you read my most recent episode of “Second Seat” with Ralph? Yeah, that. And if you haven’t read it, it’s probably best you don’t look for the search bar on the right-hand side of my blog page (or the bottom, if you’re on a phone) and type in “Ralph.” Waaaay TMI, man.

So yeah, that’s where I’m at. Hoping to be raring to go by the time I have to take Alex to a kiddie birthday party on Saturday. And not raring to go to the potty. Wish me luck.


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293. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, June 20th, 5:00pm
Melina (and Zoey)

 

Melina sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside her.

Melina: Wait, what year is it?

Zoey: Errr … 2018 …?

Melina: You’re not sure either, eh?

 

Next stop: Thursday, June 21st, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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One-Liner Wednesday – A game of dog and mouse

Winston with a computer mouse on his head: such a patient pup.

And a wonderful time was had by all.

 

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/


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#SoCS – Reservations

Used to be that I’d have hotel reservations all the time. For a while, my ex was taking over my house when he looked after the kids and I’d go to a hotel for the weekend. Which was lovely for me, but not so lovely on my wallet.  Since I kinda ran out of money (who knew that was coming?), I’m lucky to have reservations to see a movie. That’s what I wanted to talk about though. Movie tickets. Or tickets to anything for that matter.

And the weirdness that is the English language.

Why do we have reservations for a restaurant but we don’t call them reservations to a movie or an event? Because that’s really what a ticket does. It reserves a spot in the place you’re going.

Therefore, I want tickets to a restaurant and a reservation for a movie. So there.

The next thing I have reservations for is a Glorious Sons concert at the end of July.  On June 26th, the Sons–a Kingston, Ontario band–are opening for the Rolling Stones in France. That’s a HUGE DEAL! I predict that for Kingston bands, they’re going to be the next Tragically Hip.

And I have no reservations about saying that.

The last time I had a ticket to stay at a hotel was in October 2016. I’m seriously due for a vacation. With a reservation for a seat on a plane, preferably.

This somewhat rambling post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the following link to check out all the other posts (which you can find in the comments) and join in! It’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2018/06/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-16-18/


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One-Liner Wednesday – We speak the same language. I think.

Conversation between my best friend and I:

John: Hey, have I told you what happened since the last time I talked to you?

Me: No … I haven’t talked to you since the last time I talked to you …

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/


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Random, oh Random

Drinking a glass of wine tonight. Something I don’t do often anymore.

Thinking about shutting off the laptop. Something I never do before it’s time to go to bed.

But it’s been so long since I last listened to music and read a book.

With a glass of wine.

They forgot to put tartar sauce on my Filet-O-Fish yesterday. It’s still pissing me off.

Enya. I think I’ll listen to Enya.

No more editing today: I’ve been doing it non-stop all weekend. Between Candy Crush.

I hate Candy Crush.

If you say, “Well then, just stop playing it!” you’re showing you just don’t understand Candy Crush.

Stephen King is good. I think I’ll read Stephen King.

I haven’t changed out of my pyjamas today. I’m drinking wine in my pyjamas. Pyjamas that I put on last night.

Joyland. I started it a few nights ago. Enya and Joyland and wine.

Sounds like an excellent combination.

With no laptop.

Yeah.

May never forget the Filet-O-Fish. Dry fish. Oh, the irony.


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#SoCS – My Own Worst Enemy

I admit it: I wasn’t thinking straight when I came up with today’s SoCS prompt. If I had, I’d have realized that because my real favourite word isn’t fit for a family-friendly blog, I’d have to come up with another “favourite” word that wasn’t really my favourite. If I’m nothing else, I’m honest. However, the real reason I wanted to use this prompt was to see what other people’s favourite words are.

The question comes from my memory of watching “Inside the Actors Studio.” (The lack of an apostrophe is something I’d never noticed before. My editor’s brain has given me new insight–love it when that happens.) I remember thinking that if they asked me the same ten questions they ask the guests on the show, my favourite word would be the same as my favourite curse word. And I also remember thinking that if I answered the question honestly, I’d blush. I loved watching that show – I’m amazed to find upon researching it that it’s still running. Twenty-two seasons and counting.

I found this from the show:

I have so many second-favourite words, I can’t pinpoint one. Phenomena, because it reminds me of the “Me na me na” song from the Muppets; moist, because it’s the underdog of all words for some strange reason; coffee, by association; magic, because of what it represents to me; there are so many!!

But my favourite word of all …

…

…

Nope. Not telling.

This evasive post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find all the participants’ posts in the comments and join in with one of your own! https://lindaghill.com/2018/06/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-2-18/


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One-Liner Wednesday – Precognition or Coincidence?

What are the odds I’d come across this picture now, after forty-seven years–and what are the odds of giving him yellow hair and orange skin in 1971?

Obviously I was practicing my signature for when I became a famous artist. Haha.

If I’d known then what I know now, I’d have given him smaller hands.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/