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363. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, August 29th, 9:00pm
Bella (and Alice) (and Lily)

 

Bella sits at the window. Alice takes the seat beside her.

Alice: Hey.

Bella: Hey. So what did you find out?

Alice: Turns out they transferred Edward out of prison and into some sort of mental facility. He ran away from there while security had their backs turned.

Bella: I knew he didn’t turn to smoke! What a liar.

Alice: But there’s that thing with the house. I still can’t explain that.

Lily: (pops up from behind the seat, making Bella and Alice jump) I can.

Bella: (to Alice) You’d think we’d get used to that.

Alice: (to Lily) We don’t want your explanation.

Lily: Oh, but you should. You see, Edward was never really a vampire.

Bella: Well, duh!

Lily: But I am. And I can do all sorts of things.

Alice: Can you disappear?

Lily: I can. In fact I’m going to. I’m going to join Edward in Transylvania and give him what he’s always wanted.

Bella: A life?

Lily: Eternal life. And then I’m sure he’ll be back for you. (breathing into the back of Bella’s neck) I wouldn’t stop looking over your shoulder, Bella.

Lily disappears in a puff of air.

Alice: Wait! Where’d she go this time?

Bella: (squeezes past Alice and stands in the aisle facing the seat behind them) Mosquito! (slaps the seat and kills the mosquito on the seat) Sucker!

Alice: One down! (high-fives Bella)

 

Next stop: Thursday, August 30th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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350. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language.

Thursday, August 16th, 9:00pm
Bella (and Alice) (and Edward)

 

Bella sits at the window looking worried. Alice takes the seat beside her.

Alice: What’s up?

Bella: The cops went over to pick up Lily.

Alice: ‘Bout time.

Bella: But there wasn’t a house there.

Alice: What do you mean there wasn’t a house there? You had the address written down and everything.

Bella: I know. Apparently, that’s why they didn’t pick her up in the first place. It was a vacant lot. Just a hole in the ground.

Alice: So what, you wrote the address down wrong when Edward let you go?

Bella: No. I went over there myself. The house was there just like I remembered. So I called the cops and went to a coffee shop to wait. When I went back again it was just like they said. A vacant lot.

Alice: That’s spooky.

Bella: And worst of all? Edward escaped.

Alice: Holy shit.

Bella: I know.

Alice: So what are we going to do?

Bella: I don’t want to run away …

Alice: … but there might not be any choice.

Edward: (pops up from the seat behind, making them both jump) It’s okay. I’m going to leave you alone.

Alice: You’re doing a good job already.

Bella: Stay away from me.

Edward: That’s what I just said. I’m going away. For real this time.

Bella: Promise?

Edward: Yes. But I promise you this too. I’ll see you again. When you least expect it.

Bella: That’s reassuring. How about never?

Edward: That’s not possible, Bella. We’re meant to be together. (smiles, showing fake fangs) Good bye for now, my love.

Edward sits at the back of the bus until it stops. He gets off.

Alice: What’ll you do when he comes back?

Bella: (opens purse to reveal a wooden stake, bulbs of garlic, and a cross) I got it covered.

 

Next stop: Friday, August 17th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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345. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, August 11th, 8:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Lily)

 

Alice: Are you sure you’re okay to go out tonight?

Bella: Never better. Now that Edward is locked up.

Lily: (pops up in the seat behind them, making them jump) No he’s not.

Bella: (turns) What do you mean he’s not? I was there when they arrested him … You too! How did you get out?

Lily: We turned to smoke and slipped out through the bars.

Alice: You’re full of shit.

Bella pulls out her phone.

Lily: Who you gonna call?

Bella: Ghostbusters, who do you think? I’m calling the cops to come and get you.

Lily: (smiles, showing fake fangs) They’ll never catch me.

Alice: Fuckin’ right they will.

Lily disappears.

Bella: Where’d she go.

Both lean over the seat. Lily is crouched down on the floor.

Alice: What’s that, your version of smoke?

Lily hisses and reaches up to pull the cord for the bus to stop.

Bella: You’re not hiding from anyone.

Lily continues to crouch down, ignoring her.

Bella: (to Alice) Do you believe this? She actually thinks she’s invisible.

The bus stops.

Alice: (as Lily disembarks) Wanna follow her?

Bella: Nah. I know where she lives.

 

Next stop: Sunday, August 12th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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310. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, July 7th, 9:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward)

 

Bella: I know he’s gonna be there tonight. I just know it.

Edward: (pops up in the seat behind them, making them jump) You mean me? I’m here.

Bella: No, I don’t mean you. And if you do that again, I swear…

Edward: Don’t swear, Bella. It doesn’t become you.

Alice: If you have to know, she means a guy that…

Bella: (interrupts) I’m in love with. And he’s in love with me. So go blow it out your ear.

Edward: Blow what out my ear? (shakes head)  I’m here to give you one last chance, Bella. Be with me. You know you want to.

Bella: As much as I’m tempted I think I’ll pass. What, you got other options?

Edward: I’m considering leaving town.

Bella: No!

Edward: You’re sad. I’m sorry. All you have to do is agree to marry me, and I’ll take you with me.

Bella: I’ll survive.

Alice: Why the change of plans? As if I really want to know.

Edward: There’s a woman stalking me. I believe she means to try to kill me.

Alice: (under her breath) Well there’s an idea.

Edward: She approached me last night and pretended to be you, my Bella. You but changed to be like me. A vampire. I could smell her a mile off.

Bella: You know, you’re kind of ripe yourself.

Edward: So what do you say, Bella? Will you come with me? It’s really not safe here.

Bella: I’ll be fine. Go without me.

Edward: Parting is such sweet sorrow. Good-bye then my love.

Edward stands and waits for the next bus stop.

Alice: Good riddance.

Edward stares at Bella.

Bella: You’re not going to hypnotize me into going with you.

Alice: (to Edward) Seriously?

Edward: Fine then! (gets off the bus)

Bella: (reaches out toward the door) Oh no! He’s really gone!

Bella and Alice look at each other and crack up laughing.

 

Next stop: Sunday, July 8th, 11:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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274. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, June 1st, 9:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward)

 

Bella: You know who we haven’t seen in a while?

Alice: Who?

Bella: Edward.

Edward: (pops up in the seat behind, making Bella and Alice jump) Hello!

Alice: Speak of the devil.

Edward: (to Bella) You conjured?

Bella: Now that you’re here, you can go away.

Edward: I’ve missed you, Bella.

Alice: She hasn’t missed you.

Edward: (to Bella) I have a new job. (smiles, exposing fake fangs) I’m rich now.

Bella: Ooooh, that makes me want you even more!

Edward: It does?

Bella: No. Go away.

Edward: You hurt me to the core. But one day, my love, we’ll be together.

Alice: No you won’t.

Edward: (to Bella, whispering) Forever.

Bella: Look, idiot, you’re not getting the message. I. Don’t. Want. To. Date. You.

Edward: You don’t have to date me. Just be my bride.

Bella: Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.

Edward: It will. Mark my words.

Alice: I’ll mark your forehead with “loser” if you don’t fucking get lost.

Edward: (smiles) You’ll see me again. Soon.

Edward gets off the bus.

Bella: Think he’s ever going to give up?

Alice: (shrugs) Guys like that always do eventually.

 

Next stop: Saturday, June 2nd, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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191. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, March 10th, 9:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Lily)

 

Bella: God, I hope we don’t see him tonight.

Alice: Which one?

Bella: Pfft, either of them. How do I keep picking such losers?

Alice: You didn’t exactly pick Edward.

Bella: But Edgar I did. What an asshole.

Alice: Maybe he didn’t just stand you up.

Bella: What are you saying, Edward got him and (hooks two fingers on each hand) “made him a vampire”?

Lily: (pops up behind their seat) Good evening, ladies.

Both jump.

Alice: What the hell do you want?

Lily: I just thought you’d want to know there’s a maniac on the loose.

Bella: Besides you?

Lily: (hisses) Yes, besides me. She’s been chasing Edward and I around with a stake. She wants to kill us. But we’ll get her first. No need to fear, ladies.

Alice: (wipes forehead) Phew! I was shaking in my boots.

Lily: I can smell sarcasm.

Bella: Wait a minute. Wasn’t I your mortal enemy a few weeks back?

Lily: This one’s more of a threat. I’ll deal with you later. Myself.

Alice: (to Bella) I smell a shit stain. Do you smell a shit stain?

Bella: I thought it was garlic.

Lily hisses and heads for the door.

 

Next stop: Sunday, March 11th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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143. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Sunday, January 21st, 12:01am
Lacey and Edward (and Bella and Alice)

 

Edward: (standing) Bella! Are you all right?

Bella: (stumbling down the aisle with Alice behind her) Oh fuck, not you again.

Lacey: (standing to look at Edward) Hey, I know you. You’re the guy Andrea’s in love with. I recognize your fake fangs.

Alice: (slides into the seat across the aisle, beside Bella. To Edward:) You. Are such. A slut.

Edward: I am not. I love you, Bella.

Lacey: That’s what you said to my friend on New Year’s Eve.

Bella: What about that other girl? You know, that skank you were with before?

Edward: Lily is NOT a skank. She’s a nice vampire.

Alice: (snarling) If I wa’n’t so drunk, I’d fuck you up myself.

Edward: Bella, they mean nothing to me. It’s you I love. You’re my soulmate.

Lacey: (steps past him) You make me sick.

Edward: Tell Andrea I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt her.

Lacey: (mumbling) She might hurt you. (walks to the back of the bus)

Edward: Bella, you must let me take you home. You can’t make it alone.

Alice: She’s not alone. She’s got me, asshole.

Edward: You’re in no shape to take care of my mate for life.

Bella: (bursts out laughing) Mate for life? GET a fucking life!

Edward: I can’t have a life. I’ve been undead for 50 years.

Alice: (to Bella) Does that mean we can’t kill him?

Bella: I think so. Oh! Oh! Where’s my garlic?

Both roll in their seats laughing. Edward exits the bus, dejected.

 

Next stop: Monday, September 3rd, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.