Note: Strong language
Sunday, January 21st, 12:01am
Lacey and Edward (and Bella and Alice)
Edward: (standing) Bella! Are you all right?
Bella: (stumbling down the aisle with Alice behind her) Oh fuck, not you again.
Lacey: (standing to look at Edward) Hey, I know you. You’re the guy Andrea’s in love with. I recognize your fake fangs.
Alice: (slides into the seat across the aisle, beside Bella. To Edward:) You. Are such. A slut.
Edward: I am not. I love you, Bella.
Lacey: That’s what you said to my friend on New Year’s Eve.
Bella: What about that other girl? You know, that skank you were with before?
Edward: Lily is NOT a skank. She’s a nice vampire.
Alice: (snarling) If I wa’n’t so drunk, I’d fuck you up myself.
Edward: Bella, they mean nothing to me. It’s you I love. You’re my soulmate.
Lacey: (steps past him) You make me sick.
Edward: Tell Andrea I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt her.
Lacey: (mumbling) She might hurt you. (walks to the back of the bus)
Edward: Bella, you must let me take you home. You can’t make it alone.
Alice: She’s not alone. She’s got me, asshole.
Edward: You’re in no shape to take care of my mate for life.
Bella: (bursts out laughing) Mate for life? GET a fucking life!
Edward: I can’t have a life. I’ve been undead for 50 years.
Alice: (to Bella) Does that mean we can’t kill him?
Bella: I think so. Oh! Oh! Where’s my garlic?
Both roll in their seats laughing. Edward exits the bus, dejected.
Next stop: Monday, September 3rd, 3:00pm