Life in progress

Category Archives: fiction


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211. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, March 30th, 8:00pm
Edward and Vlad

 

Vlad: So you say you vill have the girl.

Edward: I vill!  … I mean, I will. Tomorrow night.

Vlad: And you are sure it is the girl vith the golden hair.

Edward: It is, Master.

Vlad: This is your last chance, Edvard. If you do not satisfy my request this time, I vill have to find another vampire to fill your place. I expect you to have no excuses.

Edward: (swallows) Yes, Master.

Vlad: (rubs hands together) And nothing this time vill keep me apart from the girl vith the golden hair.

Edward: Of course not. (stares out the window) What could possibly go wrong?

 

Next stop: Saturday, March 31st, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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210. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, March 29th, 7:00pm
Edward (and Andrea)

 

Edward sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Andrea: Eddie!

Edward: Please don’t call me that. Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for you for two days.

Andrea: (flutters eyelashes) You have?!

Edward: Yes. Didn’t your friend tell you?

Andrea: No. In fact she’s been giving me taxi money.

Edward: Drat.

Andrea: But I’m here now! I got this, like, great new job, and …

Edward: You’re not blond. I need you blond.

Andrea: Wh … what for?

Edward: A party. (nods with satisfaction) I want to take you to a party.

Andrea: What kind of party?

Edward: A … blond party.

Andrea: (smiles) Sounds like fun! When is it?

Edward: I’ll have to check. How soon can you be blond?

Andrea: I can do it on, like, Saturday morning.

Edward: Excellent. I’ll see you Saturday.

Edward stares at her.

Edward: Can you let me out please?

Andrea: Wh … That’s it?

Edward: What else is there?

Andrea: I don’t know. Like, a kiss goodbye would be nice.

Edward: Don’t make me jump out the window again.

Andrea: (gets up slowly) Okay then. (calls to him as he gets off the bus) See you soon, Eddie … Edward!

 

Next stop: Friday, March 30th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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209. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, March 28th, 7:00pm
Drommen (and Miles)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Miles takes the seat beside him.

Miles: Hello.

Drommen: Hi.

Miles: Nice day.

Drommen: Yes.

Miles: Would you happen to have any toilet paper?

Drommen: Sorry, I used the last of it five minutes ago.

Miles: Ah.

 

Next stop: Thursday, March 29th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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208. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Tuesday, March 27th, 5:00pm
Betty and Karla

 

Betty: What did the doctor say?

Karla: (mumbles, looking at her phone) Not much.

Betty: Well, he must have said something. I don’t know why you won’t let me come in with you any more.

Karla: (mumbles, not looking up) S’personal.

Betty: Your problem’s not that personal. I made the appointment for you. Did he tell you to take anything? A laxative maybe?

Karla: No fucking way!

Betty: Are you talking to me or the phone?

Karla: (texts madly) Phone. No, the doctor didn’t tell me to take anything.

Betty: Well have you had a movement?

Karla: (texting) I move around all the time.

Betty: No, a movement. A mooovement.

Karla: (still texting) What are you, a cow?

Betty: No, I mean have you had a poo!

Karla: (looks up for the first time) MOM! Jeez! (goes back to texting) Do you live to embarrass me, or what?

Betty: (mumbles) At least I know how to get your attention now.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, March 28th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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207. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Monday, March 26th, 6:00pm
Drommen (and Penelope)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Penelope takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: (smiling) Hi.

Penelope: (smiles back) Hi there.

Drommen: Do you mind if I masturbate?

Penelope: Sure! (starts to take off her coat) I’ll help you.

Drommen: That’s okay. I don’t need help.

Penelope: (rolls up her sleeves) No! I want to!

Drommen: No, really …

Penelope: Nonsense. (breathes on her hands and rubs them together) Just let me warm up my hands.

Drommen: You know what? Never mind.

Penelope: Okay. (extends her hands toward his crotch) I’m ready.

Drommen: Seriously. I’m not interested.

Penelope: (sighs and rolls her eyes) Come on. I know you want to.

Drommen: I …

Penelope: (smiles encouragingly) Come on!

Drommen: No.

Penelope: You won’t be sorry …

Drommen: (looks up) Oh look! It’s my stop! (stands and steps past her) Nice to meet you.

Penelope: (calls to him as he walks to the door) Next time for sure! I’ll be watching for you!

 

Next stop: Tuesday, March 27th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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206. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Sunday, March 25th, 10:00am
Justin (and Maribel)

 

Justin sits at the window. Maribel takes the seat beside him.

Maribel: Hi.

Justin: Hello. Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?

Maribel: That’s what I thought.

Justin: Really?

Maribel: Yeah. You follow Karla on Facebook.

Justin: I don’t even know a Karla.

Maribel: Sure you do. She showed me your picture.

Justin: Errr …

Maribel: She told me you assaulted her on the bus.

Justin: No way! I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Maribel: Then how come you said you thought you knew me from somewhere?

Justin: I didn’t say that.

Maribel: Yes you did.

Justin: No, I said I thought I knew someone who looks like you.

Maribel: No you didn’t.

Justin: Look, lady, I don’t know where you get off accusing me of shit I didn’t do. I think you should go sit somewhere else.

Maribel takes out her cell phone and holds it up.

Justin: What are you doing?

Maribel: Nothing.

Justin: Did you take my picture?

Maribel: No. I’m moving now. Bye.

Maribel changes seats. Justin gets off the bus.

 

Next stop: Monday, March 26th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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205. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, March 24th, 8:00pm
Lacey (and Edward)

 

Lacey sits at the window. Edward pops up in the seat behind her.

Edward: (into her ear) Hello.

Lacey: (jumps) Ugh! You again? Why do you do that?

Edward: (smiles, showing fake fangs) Because I can. What’s your friend’s name again?

Lacey: Andrea?

Edward: Yes. That one. Is she still in love with me?

Lacey: (rolls her eyes) Yes. But I have no idea why. She really needs to …

Edward: Would she dye her hair for me?

Lacey: (without interruption) … stay away from y … What did you say?

Edward: Do you think she’d dye her hair blond?

Lacey: What the hell for?

Edward: (looks up at the ceiling) Oh, no reason.

Lacey: (narrows her eyes) You want her to look like that Bella chick you’ve been trying to get, don’t you.

Edward: No.

Lacey: Then why?

Edward: I just happen to like … I mean, I prefer … No reason. Can you ask her to dye her hair and meet me on the bus Tuesday night?

Lacey: No.

Edward: When will she be back on the bus?

Lacey: Not telling.

Edward: (after a moment of silence) Do you want to be blond?

Lacey: No!

Edward: (under his breath) Damn.

 

Next stop: Sunday, March 25th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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204. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, March 23rd, 9:00pm
Vlad and Edward

 

Vlad: You disappoint me, Edvard.

Edward: I’m sorry.

Vlad: “I’m sorry,” vhat?

Edward: (lowers head) I’m sorry, Master.

Vlad: Hmph.

Edward: I’ll try harder.

Vlad: You say that, but I gave you this assignment seven months ago! Get the girl. Bring her over to the dark side. And have you done it yet?

Edward: No, Master.

Vlad: No. Exactly. (turns and looks out the window)

Edward: What about the other one I brought you?

Vlad: (stares at him) Lily?

Edward: Yes. Lily.

Vlad: She is simply a crackpot. I vant the girl vith the golden hair!

Edward: But…

Vlad: No buts, Edvard.

Edward: So now what?

Vlad: Now I am letting you go.

Edward: (eyes widen) Letting me go?

Vlad: Yes. I vill look for another apprentice.

Edward: But … I’ll get her! I promise!

Vlad: (puts hand up) Don’t talk to me until you have the girl!

 

Next stop: Saturday, March 24th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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203. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, March 22nd, 5:00pm
Hillary (and Sean)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Sean: Still pissed?

Hillary: What do you think?

Sean: Here. (hands her a piece of paper) I made you a drawing to cheer you up.

Hillary: (staring at the paper) What is it?

Sean: It’s a guy.

Hillary: With the head of a cow? And where’s his right hand?

Sean: Inside his coat. It’s your lover boy.

Hillary frowns.

Sean: I call it “Beef Strokinoff.”

Hillary: (throws the paper at him and pushes him) Asshole!

Sean falls out of his seat, laughing, and moves to the back of the bus.

 

Next stop: Friday, March 23rd, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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202. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, March 21st, 6:00pm
The Darkness (and MoJo) (and JoJo)

 

The Darkness sits at the window. MoJo takes the seat beside him. After a few stops, JoJo boards the bus.

JoJo: (to MoJo) Yo!

MoJo: Yo, man! Wassup?

JoJo: (sits on the seat across the aisle) Oh, I dunno. Still pretty bummed about not gettin’ to the South Pole.

MoJo: Yeah, dude, I know what you mean. Maybe next winter.

JoJo: Sure.

MoJo: But I got somethin’ that’ll lift your spirits. Got into this game on Steam.

JoJo: Right on man! What’s it called?

MoJo: It’s called “The Darkness”!

The Darkness: (mumbling) I am The Darkness.

MoJo: (turns) What’s that?

The Darkness: (mumbling) I am The Darkness.

MoJo: Dude! You play too?

The Darkness: I AM The Darkness. (stands) I am The Darkness! I AM THE DARKNESS!

The Darkness pushes past MoJo and gets off the bus.

MoJo: (to JoJo) Did you see that dude, man?

JoJo: Yeah, man. That dude’s gotta chill.

MoJo: No South Pole for him, man!

JoJo: No way!

 

Next stop: Thursday, March 22nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.