Monday, April 16th, 5:00pm
Farmer Brown (and Phil)
Farmer Brown sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside him.
Phil:(sighs) Oh what a relief.
Farmer Brown: What would that be, son?
Phil: (smiles) I get my car back tomorrow.
Farmer Brown: (smiles back) Nothing quite like having your own vehicle, is there?
Phil: No sir, there’s not. It’s finally out of the shop after my accident, and I’m on the mend too.
Farmer Brown: And the open road is ahead of you.
Phil: Right you are. You know, it’s refreshing to find someone on the bus who really “gets it.” Someone sane for a change.
Farmer Brown: (nods, then takes phone out of his pocket) Excuse me, I have to get this.
Phil: You go ahead.
Farmer Brown: (into his phone) Hello? No. You’re kidding. Again? (frowns) Okay, put her on.
Farmer Brown glances at Phil and rolls his eyes.
Farmer Brown:(into his phone) Moo. Moo moo moo moo. Moomoomoo. Okay. (waits) Yeah, I told her. She promised not to do it again. Okay, see you soon. (hangs up and puts his phone back in his pocket. To Phil:) Damned sheep got out of the barn again.
Saturday, March 10th, 9:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Lily)
Bella: God, I hope we don’t see him tonight.
Alice: Which one?
Bella:Pfft, either of them. How do I keep picking such losers?
Alice: You didn’t exactly pick Edward.
Bella: But Edgar I did. What an asshole.
Alice: Maybe he didn’t just stand you up.
Bella: What are you saying, Edward got him and (hooks two fingers on each hand) “made him a vampire”?
Lily:(pops up behind their seat) Good evening, ladies.
Both jump.
Alice: What the hell do you want?
Lily: I just thought you’d want to know there’s a maniac on the loose.
Bella: Besides you?
Lily: (hisses) Yes, besides me. She’s been chasing Edward and I around with a stake. She wants to kill us. But we’ll get her first. No need to fear, ladies.
Alice:(wipes forehead) Phew! I was shaking in my boots.
Lily: I can smell sarcasm.
Bella: Wait a minute. Wasn’t I your mortal enemy a few weeks back?
Lily: This one’s more of a threat. I’ll deal with you later. Myself.
Alice: (to Bella) I smell a shit stain. Do you smell a shit stain?