Life in progress

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228. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, April 16th, 5:00pm
Farmer Brown (and Phil)


Farmer Brown sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside him.

Phil: (sighs) Oh what a relief.

Farmer Brown: What would that be, son?

Phil: (smiles) I get my car back tomorrow.

Farmer Brown: (smiles back) Nothing quite like having your own vehicle, is there?

Phil: No sir, there’s not. It’s finally out of the shop after my accident, and I’m on the mend too.

Farmer Brown: And the open road is ahead of you.

Phil: Right you are. You know, it’s refreshing to find someone on the bus who really “gets it.” Someone sane for a change.

Farmer Brown: (nods, then takes phone out of his pocket) Excuse me, I have to get this.

Phil: You go ahead.

Farmer Brown: (into his phone) Hello? No. You’re kidding. Again? (frowns) Okay, put her on.

Farmer Brown glances at Phil and rolls his eyes.

Farmer Brown: (into his phone) Moo. Moo moo moo moo. Moomoomoo. Okay. (waits) Yeah, I told her. She promised not to do it again. Okay, see you soon. (hangs up and puts his phone back in his pocket. To Phil:) Damned sheep got out of the barn again.


Next stop: Tuesday, April 17th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.

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137. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, January 15th, 5:00pm
Kevin (and Phil)


Kevin is seated in the aisle seat. Phil approaches.

Phil: Mind if I sit here?

Kevin: Not at all. (moves to the window seat)

Phil: (sits) Ugh. I hate the bus.

Kevin: Why you on it then?

Phil: My car broke down. Again.

Kevin: Oh yeah? I used to own a car.

Phil: Why’d you give it up?

Kevin: Ah, it was a Mercedes.

Phil stares at him, waiting for him to go on.

Kevin: Yeah, it was repossessed. Actually, a bunch of drug dealers took it. They thought I was someone else. Who owed them, y’know?

Phil: So … did you call the cops?

Kevin: Nah. I had enough money to buy another one.

Phil: That’s not the point.

Kevin: (snorts) You ever been in trouble with the mob?

Phil: No. I work in an office.

Kevin: Then you wouldn’t understand. They’d come after me? I’da been dead. Then what good would a Mercedes have done me?

Phil: True.

Kevin: So I just left town. Came here. (looks behind him) I don’t think they’re following me anymore.

Phil stares at him for a moment then moves to another seat.


Next stop: Tuesday, January 16th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


25. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, September 25th, 5:00pm
Candice (and Phil)


Phil: (approaches Candice, who is sitting at the window) Mind if I sit here?

Candice: Go right ahead.

Phil: I’m sorry, I’m not very good at bus etiquette. I don’t take the bus.

Candice: Oh.

Phil: My car broke down.

Candice: That’s too bad.

Phil: I work in an office downtown, and I usually drive.

Candice: I see.

Phil: My car has been in the shop for a week now.

Candice: You must really miss it.

Phil: I do. They think it’s something to do with the alternator, but I think it’s a computer problem.

Candice: (nods) Ahh.

Phil: I work on computers all day so I know a thing or two about computers.

Candice: I see.

Phil: So what do you do for a living?

Candice: I’m a dominatrix.

Phil stares, mouth hanging open.

Candice: I work in a dungeon where I tie up men and occasionally women, and I torture them for money.

Phil, frozen, continues to stare.

Candice: I take it you’ve never tried it?

Phil takes out his cell phone and dials a number. Candice watches him.

Phil: (into the phone) Yeah, Discount Car Rental? Do you have any cars available? … Now. … Where? (holds the phone away from his ear and speaks to Candice, enunciating as though talking to a deaf person) What’s. The. Next. Stop?


Next stop: Tuesday, September 26th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


Technology Sucks!

Incoming rant: be prepared to duck.

Why can’t they make computers that will last? Okay, fine, my desktop is four years old, and my son Chris is on it all the time. Almost. Today it started acting up. It has some sort of bug going on – whether it’s a virus or the hard drive is failing (which I think is the case) I’m not sure. But for an Autistic kid to deal with it’s the end of the world. I’ve spent most of this morning trying to fix the computer while Chris sits beside me beating his head with his fists and yelling.

All this after Alex came home yesterday to an infected laptop. Thank goodness I have Kaspersky on his machine – it cleaned it up quite well, though it took almost two hours to do it. It would work even better if it didn’t give him the choice when it detected an attack to go ahead and trust the virus or get out while the getting is good. He’s a very trusting little guy.

But it’s not only that the technology we use is so delicate which has me upset. Alex’s school has a great new program in which they’re using iPads to carry around in the community so they can communicate with hearing people. Wonderful, right? It would be if the school didn’t expect me to buy him an iPad. And I thought the expense of indoor shoes was bad enough!

And now Chris is asking me for a new computer. What I need is a car. A real one – not the 1993 puddle-jumping Tempo I inherited from my mother when the doctor took her license away in February. Wait, did I say technology? I suppose even the Flintstones thought their “cars” were technology. Anyway, the Tempo has taken to stalling every time I stop now… which I suppose is better than when it was zooming through stop signs no matter how hard I pressed on the brake.


End rant.

Seriously, I detest whining. I just had to get that off my chest. Thanks for reading.