Saturday, October 14th, 8:00pm
Edward (and The Darkness)
Edward sits at the window. The Darkness takes the seat beside him.
Edward: (sniffs and turns to The Darkness) Who the hell are you?
The Darkness: I am The Darkness
Edward: No you’re not. I am the darkness.
The Darkness: I am The Darkness.
Edward: No, I am the darkness.
The Darkness: I AM THE DARKNESS!!
Edward: (hisses, showing plastic fangs) I AM THE DARKNESS!!
Both get kicked off the bus.
Next stop: Sunday, October 15th, 9:00pm
Sunday, October 8th, 2:00pm
Drommen (and Bev, Darla and Vicki)
Drommen sits at the window. Bev takes the seat beside him, and Darla and Vicki sit down behind them.
Drommen: (smiling at Bev) Hello.
Bev smiles and nods.
Drommen: Mind if I masturbate?
Bev: Pardon?
Darla: (leans forward and says loudly) I think he said “Jersey is the Garden State.”
Vicki: (leans forward and says loudly) I thought he said “Rogers gives a rebate.”
Bev: (loudly) Really? A rebate on what? (turns to talk to Darla and Vicki) I was just saying to Sue the other day, I need a new iPhone …
Drommen slouches in his seat, arms crossed, and looks out the window.
Next stop: Monday, October 9th, 5:00pm
Saturday, September 30th, 8:00pm
Edward and Bella
Edward: I’m so glad you agreed to come out with me.
Bella: (shrugs) You sounded so normal enough on the phone. (mumbles) And I had nothing better to do.
Edward: What?
Bella: Nothing. So where are we going again?
Edward: A special place downtown.
Bella: What’s so special about it?
Edward: (smiles) You’ll see.
Bella: (stares at him) You’re going to take those fake fangs out though, right?
Edward: What fake fangs?
Bella: (sighs) Whatever.
Bella opens her purse and takes a compact out.
Edward: (snatches it out of her hand) This doesn’t have a mirror in it, does it?
Bella: (glares at him) Yeah, why?
Edward: Don’t open it. (he sniffs) Is that garlic I smell on your breath?
Bella: (gasps) How dare you?
Edward: How dare YOU!?
Bella: (stands and grabs her compact) That’s it, I’m leaving.
Edward: Wait! You can’t!
Bella: And for God’s sake, wipe the sparkle off your face. You look like you belong in a disco.
Bella walks down the aisle toward the door. Edward gets up to follow her.
Edward: That’s where I was taking you! A disco!
Bella: (turns) Discos have mirror balls, freak!
Edward stands in the aisle, confused, as Bella gets off the bus.
Next stop: Sunday, October 1st, 9:00am
Wednesday, September 6th 7:00pm
Myrtle and Edith
Myrtle: I told him! I said to him, ‘If you don’t go and get that seen to, it’s going to get infected!’ But did he listen to me? And now look at him. All doubled over in pain, not able to get out of bed.
Edith: Well, all you can do is tell them. Paddy’s able to look after himself. He can’t have you waiting on him all the time.
Myrtle: I’ll be darned if he thinks I’m waiting on him! After he told me I worry too much and that I’ve become a fusspot. A fusspot! Do you believe he actually said that to my face?
Edith: Nerve.
Myrtle: He does have a lot of nerve. And now it serves him right. (pauses to glance out the window) I’ve loved that man most of my life and that’s the thanks I get.
Edith: He doesn’t deserve all you do for him, Myrtle. But what can you do?
Myrtle: You know, Edie, there was a time when I’d do anything for that man. Forty-five years we’ve been married, and we’ve seen it all. Well you know. How long were you married to Harvey, God rest his soul?
Edith: It would have been fifty-one years this week.
Edith squeezes the top of her cane, kneading it.
Myrtle: Now, Edie, I don’t want you to be thinking you’re doing something wrong. I don’t feel that way and my Paddy’s still alive! (looks up) Oh, this is our stop. Come on, Edie, the Chippendales await. Let’s go get ourselves a stiff one, shall we?
Next stop: Thursday, September 7th, 5:00pm
Saturday afternoon found yours truly enjoying a beer on the patio of one of Kingston’s livelier establishments. At this particular place, since it is Irish, the waiting staff wear kilts. Both the girls and the guys.
My table was adjacent to a table where three middle-aged women were sitting. Between us, a waiter stood talking to some customers. His back was to the other table. I watched as one of the women extended her arm and wiggled her fingers below the hem of the waiter’s kilt, as though she was going to reach up under it and tickle… something. I didn’t know whether to smile or be appalled. In retrospect, I’m pretty sure it’s the latter.
So let’s see… what is your reaction? Take the poll:
I could probably have come up with some more answers, but I’m interested to see what you have to say. Let’s discuss.
Edit for clarification: The woman didn’t come in contact with the waiter, and he didn’t notice she did it.
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