Life in progress

Tag Archives: Humor


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One-Liner Wednesday – Thought of the day

Is it Wednesday already?

Click to look at it close up. An incredible picture (rare for me) of a snail on a flower.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


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#SoCS – How?

How am I supposed to do this? I’m asking myself that a lot lately. Between the advertising methods I need to learn, affiliate codes and links and landing pages … GDPR? Don’t even get me started. I need a privacy policy now just to have a newsletter … have you actually read one of those things? (A privacy policy, not a newsletter.) They’re pages of mumbo jumbo. But I have to get all this done soon because … I can’t say. Just know that there’s a big announcement coming  very soon. Maybe tomorrow.

I wonder if Shakespeare had to deal with all this stuff.

Thou’st are not compliant

Fie upon your dogg’d insistence!

Mine eyes cast daggers on thy curs’d GDPR!

Yeah, I doubt it. And no, Shakespeare I am most definitely not.

This short, sweet, archaic post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday! Click the following link and join in today! https://lindaghill.com/2018/07/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-14-18/


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#SoCS – ‘Sup?

Holy cow, is it really ten to twelve? Where did my Saturday go? I know I spent a lot of it proofreading my book, but there must have been bits in between, because I only got about a hundred pages done.

Most of that time I spent in the car with the windows down, enjoying the breeze off the lake. I did take a little walk when my eyes needed a break. I found this guy, standing on a rock.

If you can’t tell, it’s a heron. Compared to the ducks in the first picture, he’s a biggie.

Let’s see, what else did I do? Oh yeah. About an hour after I finished my McDonald’s coffee, I started to feel icky so I went to Tim Horton’s to pick up a bagel for supper. Then I took it back to the lake and ate it, sitting in the parking lot in my car, beside a Winnebago. Unfortunately I didn’t think of the joke until after I’d finished eating, otherwise I’d have taken a picture of myself beside the other vehicle whilst holding my food. I could have captioned it: Winnebago? No, I bought it.

Get it?

Yeah, it’s been a long day.

‘Sup with you?

This bad, bad post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link and check out all the good posts, which you can find in the comment section. https://lindaghill.com/2018/07/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-7-18/


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308. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, July 5th, 5:00pm
Genie and Ross

 

Genie: I found a peanut.

Ross: Oh yeah? When was this?

Genie: Last night. It was rotten.

Ross: Huh.

Genie: But I ate it anyway.

Ross: Why’d you do that?

Genie: (shrugs) So I got a stomach ache. I should probably see a doctor.

Ross: Well, I doubt it’ll kill you.

Genie: Right? What are the chances?

 

Next stop: Friday, July 6th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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One-Liner Wednesday – On a Personal Note

They opened up a spot for Alex to go to camp all summer. I’m free! I’m free!

A woman obviously in need of coffee.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/


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305. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, July 2nd, 5:00pm
Simon (and Murray)

 

Simon sits at the window. Murray takes the seat beside him.

Murray: Excuse me, can I interest you in a potato?

Simon: I don’t eat vegetation.

Murray: That’s odd … you only eat meat?

Simon: Yes. I prefer organs, actually. A slice of liver with a nice Chianti, for instance.

Murray: So no fava beans?

Simon: It’s where our similarity ends.

Murray changes seats.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, July 3rd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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#SoCS – Cheers?

I’m so mad at myself. I’ve spent the whole day procrastinating. Problem is, I have too much to do. Strange how that works. So I wonder if I’ll get more done if I open a bottle of wine …

See, thing is, having too much to do makes me uptight. It makes me want to run away and do something I don’t have to worry about getting finished as much. I’m currently (supposed to be) writing two short stories, proofreading my next novel … OH! Did I tell you? I managed to get a really REALLY good deal on a black-and-white-print-only laser printer, and MAN, does it work well! I’ve been using it for various things for the past, like, six weeks or so, and yesterday I printed off my 366-page manuscript and I still have a half-full cartridge of ink … and it’s the one the printer came with! It’s practically already paid for itself! Oh, I’m so happy with it. It’s a Brother … if you’re interested, I can get you the model number.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. And I’ve also been procrastinating on getting this month’s colouring project done THAT HAS TO BE POSTED TOMORROW! Not going to get to admire this one at all. 😛 And I’ve been putting off writing this post because I didn’t want to open my bottle of wine too early.

But it’s not too early now, is it? Nope. Ten o’clock.

Cheers!

This late (read: put-off) post is brought to you by a very sober (so far) Stream of Consciousness Saturday. You can find the rules and the rest of the participating posts in the comments by clicking here: https://lindaghill.com/2018/06/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-30-18/


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301. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, June 28th, 3:00pm
Tiffany and Vera

 

Tiffany: My God, I’m like, so glad school’s over, you know?

Vera: I know! Did you hear about Professor Plum? He was all over Scarlet.

Tiffany: No way!

Vera: (nods exaggeratedly and pops gum) Uh huh. I heard they were in the cafeteria? And she was, like, tied to one of the tables with a rope and he was covering her in mustard.

Tiffany: Ew!! Isn’t he, like, married to Mrs. Peacock?

Vera: Pfft. Yeah, but he’s been screwing around with Mrs. White for years. And you know what else I heard?

Tiffany: What?

Vera: Lissy told me Casper caught him in kitchen … with Mr. Green!

Tiffany: No way! He’s also gay? I had no clue!

 

Next stop: Friday, June 29th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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300. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, June 27th, 7:00pm
Rupert (and the rest of the passengers on the bus)

 

Rupert sits alone by the window. He stands and addresses the other passengers.

Rupert: And in closing, I’d like to thank my director, my producer, my mother, and all you little people who volunteered your time to further my cause. I can promise you all that the end of the world by means of worm infestation is no longer an issue, and you may all go on with your lives knowing that I, Rupert, have done my utmost to ensure your continued safety against zombies and aliens alike. A light dinner will be served in the cargo hold of this bus at 7:30pm. Thank you again, and good night.

The rest of the passengers on the bus applaud politely.

 

Next stop: Thursday, June 28th, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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One-Liner Wednesday – When messing it up gets it waaayy wrong

Here in Canada when we want to check the weather, we go to The Weather Network. I got my tongue twisted over it the other day and came out with The Nether Wetwork. Good for a giggle, but oh, the implications.

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/