Thursday, July 5th, 5:00pm
Genie and Ross
Genie: I found a peanut.
Ross: Oh yeah? When was this?
Genie: Last night. It was rotten.
Ross: Huh.
Genie: But I ate it anyway.
Ross: Why’d you do that?
Genie: (shrugs) So I got a stomach ache. I should probably see a doctor.
Ross: Well, I doubt it’ll kill you.
Genie: Right? What are the chances?
Next stop: Friday, July 6th, 7:00pm
They opened up a spot for Alex to go to camp all summer. I’m free! I’m free!
A woman obviously in need of coffee.
If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!
5. Have fun!
#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/
Monday, July 2nd, 5:00pm
Simon (and Murray)
Simon sits at the window. Murray takes the seat beside him.
Murray: Excuse me, can I interest you in a potato?
Simon: I don’t eat vegetation.
Murray: That’s odd … you only eat meat?
Simon: Yes. I prefer organs, actually. A slice of liver with a nice Chianti, for instance.
Murray: So no fava beans?
Simon: It’s where our similarity ends.
Murray changes seats.
Next stop: Tuesday, July 3rd, 5:00pm
I’m so mad at myself. I’ve spent the whole day procrastinating. Problem is, I have too much to do. Strange how that works. So I wonder if I’ll get more done if I open a bottle of wine …
See, thing is, having too much to do makes me uptight. It makes me want to run away and do something I don’t have to worry about getting finished as much. I’m currently (supposed to be) writing two short stories, proofreading my next novel … OH! Did I tell you? I managed to get a really REALLY good deal on a black-and-white-print-only laser printer, and MAN, does it work well! I’ve been using it for various things for the past, like, six weeks or so, and yesterday I printed off my 366-page manuscript and I still have a half-full cartridge of ink … and it’s the one the printer came with! It’s practically already paid for itself! Oh, I’m so happy with it. It’s a Brother … if you’re interested, I can get you the model number.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. And I’ve also been procrastinating on getting this month’s colouring project done THAT HAS TO BE POSTED TOMORROW! Not going to get to admire this one at all. 😛 And I’ve been putting off writing this post because I didn’t want to open my bottle of wine too early.
But it’s not too early now, is it? Nope. Ten o’clock.
Cheers!
Badge by J-Dub @ https://jilywily.wordpress.com/
This late (read: put-off) post is brought to you by a very sober (so far) Stream of Consciousness Saturday. You can find the rules and the rest of the participating posts in the comments by clicking here: https://lindaghill.com/2018/06/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-30-18/
Thursday, June 28th, 3:00pm
Tiffany and Vera
Tiffany: My God, I’m like, so glad school’s over, you know?
Vera: I know! Did you hear about Professor Plum? He was all over Scarlet.
Tiffany: No way!
Vera: (nods exaggeratedly and pops gum) Uh huh. I heard they were in the cafeteria? And she was, like, tied to one of the tables with a rope and he was covering her in mustard.
Tiffany: Ew!! Isn’t he, like, married to Mrs. Peacock?
Vera: Pfft. Yeah, but he’s been screwing around with Mrs. White for years. And you know what else I heard?
Tiffany: What?
Vera: Lissy told me Casper caught him in kitchen … with Mr. Green!
Tiffany: No way! He’s also gay? I had no clue!
Next stop: Friday, June 29th, 7:00pm
Wednesday, June 27th, 7:00pm
Rupert (and the rest of the passengers on the bus)
Rupert sits alone by the window. He stands and addresses the other passengers.
Rupert: And in closing, I’d like to thank my director, my producer, my mother, and all you little people who volunteered your time to further my cause. I can promise you all that the end of the world by means of worm infestation is no longer an issue, and you may all go on with your lives knowing that I, Rupert, have done my utmost to ensure your continued safety against zombies and aliens alike. A light dinner will be served in the cargo hold of this bus at 7:30pm. Thank you again, and good night.
The rest of the passengers on the bus applaud politely.
Next stop: Thursday, June 28th, 3:00pm
Here in Canada when we want to check the weather, we go to The Weather Network. I got my tongue twisted over it the other day and came out with The Nether Wetwork. Good for a giggle, but oh, the implications.
If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!
5. Have fun!
#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/
Tuesday, June 26th, 5:00pm
Meredith (and Vijay)
Meredith sits at the window. Vijay takes the seat beside her.
Meredith: Do I look fat in this?
Vijay: I beg your pardon?
Meredith: Fat. Do I look fat in this dress?
Vijay: I am sorry, I cannot comment on your dress or your body. My wife would not like it.
Meredith: (looks around) Is your wife here?
Vijay: No, she is not.
Meredith: I won’t tell her if you don’t. Now. Do I look fat in this?
Vijay: I still cannot comment.
Meredith: Why not?
Vijay: Because I am afraid I will say the wrong thing and then you will be angry at me.
Meredith: You think I look fat, don’t you.
Vijay: I did not say that.
Meredith: You do! How dare you!
Vijay: In my defense madam, I did not say anything.
Meredith: You didn’t have to! I should have known better than to ask a man.
Vijay: This is very true.
Next stop: Wednesday, June 27th, 7:00pm
Monday, June 25th, 4:00pm
Marty (and Zerg, the Undefeatable)
Marty sits at the window. Zerg, the Undefeatable takes the seat beside him.
Marty: Watch out.
Zerg, the Undefeatable: Sorry. This costume is a bit big.
Marty: A bit big? Man, couldn’t you have gotten changed when you got where ever it is you’re going?
Zerg, the Undefeatable: Not really. It took three hours to get into this thing.
Marty: Who are you supposed to be, anyways?
Zerg, the Undefeatable: I’m Zerg. The Undefeatable.
Marty kicks him in the shins.
Zerg, the Undefeatable: Ouch! What was that for?
Marty: Just checking.
Next stop: Tuesday, June 26th, 5:00pm
Friday, June 22nd, 5:00pm
Juliette (and Drommen)
Juliette sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.
Juliette: Please be gentle.
Drommen: I beg your pardon, Madame?
Juliette: Well, you see, this is my first time on a bus, and you are the first man to sit beside me.
Drommen: Ah. Common bus etiquette demands that I at least introduce myself. I’m Jake.
Juliette: (smiles and extends gloved hand) I’m Juliette. It’s very nice to meet you, Jake.
Drommen: (takes her hand and kisses the back of it) My pleasure entirely.
Juliette: I’ve heard so many horror stories about taking the bus. I’m happy to find they’ve proven unfounded.
Drommen: I’m sure whatever you’ve heard is total nonsense. I try to come on the bus as often as I can, and there are few worse than myself.
Juliette: Well then. If you are just about as bad as it gets, I shall cease to worry.
Drommen: Quite right. I was going to ask you … would you mind if I …
Juliette: Yes?
Drommen: … change seats with you? I have a long way to go.
Juliette: Not at all.
Next stop: Saturday, June 23rd, 7:00pm
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