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Tag Archives: humorous fiction


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255. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, May 13th, 2:00pm
Colm and Harvey

 

Harvey: Feels lovely to be full after a Sunday brunch, doesn’t it?

Colm: It would feel even better if you hadn’t upset the party.

Harvey: You think it was upset?

Colm: Did you see the look on my mother’s face?

Harvey: Yes, but everyone else seemed all right with it. Your brother thought it was hilarious.

Colm: Still, promise me you won’t do it again.

Harvey: (shrugs) What’s a little nudity amongst family?

Colm stares.

Harvey: And it’s such a nice day for a swim.

Colm: Skinny dipping in the bird bath is a bit much though, don’t you think?

Harvey: If I’d gone in the pool, you’d have told me off for swimming on a full stomach.

Colm: You have a point.

Harvey: Anyway, it was for your mother that I did it. It is Mother’s Day, after all.

Colm: Oh right. Who knew she wouldn’t appreciate having a grown man take off all his clothes and jump in her bird bath.

Harvey: You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you.

Colm stares at Harvey for a moment, then looks away.

Harvey: (sighs) You used to think I was entertaining, once upon a time.

 

Next stop: Monday, May 14th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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253. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, May 11th, 6:00pm
Shannon and Terry

 

Shannon: I wanna do something fun.

Terry: Like watch TV?

Shannon: No! Something like jumping off a cliff with a bungee cord wrapped around my ankle.

Terry: How about going to a movie?

Shannon: A movie? I’m talking about doing something exciting! Like taking a trip to a foreign country where I don’t know the language, and getting lost.

Terry: That’s fun?

Shannon: I think so.

Terry: We could go downtown and play in traffic …

Shannon: (glares at him) Don’t you have any sense of adventure?

Terry: Sure. I play video games.

 

Next stop: Saturday, May 12th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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249. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, May 7th, 1:00pm
Red (and Justin)

 

Red sits at the window carrying a basket of food. Justin takes the seat beside her.

Justin: Don’t I know you from somewhere?

Red: I … don’t think so.

Justin: Yeah, aren’t you that chick who gets eaten by a wolf?

Red: (eyes widen) Ooh, I hope not!

Justin: You’re not going to your grandma’s house, are you?

Red: Yeah … I just left my mom’s place. I’m on my way to drop off some goodies.

Justin: It’s not safe out there alone you know. I can walk you there if you’d like.

Red: (smiles) I made it there without incident the last two days running.

Justin: Well you know what they say: three times lucky. Or unlucky. Or something.

Red: How do I know you’re not a wolf?

Justin: Pfft. Who, me? Nah. I’m just a bouncer in a dungeon.

Red: (eyes widen even more: slowly nods head) Now THAT sounds like a trustworthy profession. I think I’ll take my chances. Thanks anyway.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, May 8th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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248. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, May 6th, 1:00pm
Red (and Simon)

 

Red sits at the window. Simon takes the seat beside her.

Simon: Hi.

Red: Hi.

Simon: Nice basket. You look like Little Red Riding Hood.

Red: Who’s that?

Simon: Never mind. You going to your grandma’s house?

Red: How did you know?

Simon: Wild guess.

Red: I went yesterday, but I forgot the bread.

Simon: You really want to take the chance, going back twice in two days?

Red: What do I look like, a chicken?

Simon: I could go for some white meat.

Red shakes her head and turns to the window.

Simon: I’m not averse to a leg …

Red: (turns back) Anyone ever told you you’ve got a big mouth?

Simon: (smiles) All the better, my dear.

 

Next stop: Monday, May 7th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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247. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, May 5th, 8:00pm
Drommen (and Red)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Red takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: That’s a nice cape you have.

Red: Thank you. (holds up a basket of goodies) I’m going to visit my grandma.

Drommen smiles.

Red: But I might be lost.

Drommen: This bus doesn’t go to the woods.

Red: What makes you think I’m going to the woods?

Drommen: Isn’t that the way the tale goes?

Red: What tale? Anyway, I’m heading for Maple Street. Do you know where it is?

Drommen: (cocking his thumb over his shoulder) Back that way.

Red: Darn! I’ll have to get off the bus at the next stop.

Drommen: You know, there’s no way I’m going to beat you to your grandma’s house.

Red: (frowning) I don’t expect you to.

Drommen: (smiles) You never do.

 

Next stop: Sunday, May 6th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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246. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, May 4th, 8:00am
MoJo and JoJo (and Sean)

 

MoJo: You know what day it is today, right dude?

JoJo: Dude!

MoJo: Totally!

JoJo: Go forth and prosper, dude!

MoJo: Awesome, dude!

Both: (stand up and raise fists in the air. To the bus.) IT’S STAR TREK DAY!!

Sean: (from the seat behind them) That’s Star Wars day. Dudes.

MoJo: No way!

JoJo: Nuh uh, dude.

Sean: It’s May the fourth.

MoJo: Yeah, it’s Go Forth and Prosper Day.

Sean: (shakes his head and enunciates) May. The. Forth.

MoJo: (enunciating) I. Know.

Sean: (shrugs) Whatever.

Both sit down.

JoJo: Dude, that guy, man. (points at ear and draws a circle in the air and sings Twilight Zone theme)

MoJo: (nods) Dude.

 

Next stop: Saturday, May 5th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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245. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, May 3rd, 5:00pm
Hubert (and Zoey)

 

Hubert sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Hubert: Nice day today.

Zoey: Yes.

Hubert: You don’t recognize me, do you?

Zoey: (rolls eyes) Not another one.

Hubert waits politely for an explanation.

Zoey: The last guy who said that to me thought he looked like Johnny Depp.

Hubert: And did he?

Zoey: Not at all.

Hubert: (laughs) Well, I’m not supposed to look like anyone. I’m the weather man.

Zoey: Oh yeah? Do you work at one of the local TV stations, or …

Hubert: Nope.

Zoey: … radio?

Hubert: Nope.

Zoey: Oh, you’re the guy who actually figures out what the weather’s going to be.

Hubert: (smiles) That’s right.

Zoey: So what’s it going to be like tomorrow?

Hubert: It’s not.

Zoey: Errr … what do you mean it’s not?

Hubert: There won’t be a tomorrow.

Zoey: Oookay.

Hubert: The tides will start going backwards tonight and time itself will reverse.

Zoey: So you’re saying …

Hubert: Tomorrow will be yesterday.

Zoey: Damn.

Hubert: What? It was nice out yesterday, too.

Zoey: Yeah, but I was looking forward to summer.

Hubert: (shrugs) I’m just the weather man. Nothing I can do about it.

Zoey: Are you sure?

Hubert: (frowns) Do you doubt me?

Zoey: Nooo … I’m just going to change seats.

Hubert: (smiles) Nice meeting you.

Zoey: You too.

Hubert: And say hi to Johnny Depp when you see him next. (winks)

Zoey: Will do.

 

Next stop: Friday, May 4th, 8:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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244. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, May 2nd, 6:00pm
The Grim Reaper (and The Darkness)

 

The Grim Reaper sits at the window with his scythe. The Darkness boards the bus and approaches.

The Grim Reaper: (looking up) Who do you think you are?

The Darkness: (conversationally) I am The Darkness.

The Grim Reaper: I’m afraid I’ll have to see some ID.

The Darkness pulls card from pocket and hands it to The Grim Reaper.

The Grim Reaper: (leans his scythe against the seat and takes the card. reading) Last name, Darkness, first name, The. I guess you want to see mine now.

The Darkness nods.

The Grim Reaper: (hands The Darkness back the card, picks up the scythe and exits the bus. mumbling) Damn it, Martha was right. I should have brought my wallet.

 

Next stop: Thursday, May 3rd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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243. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, May 1st, 6:00pm
Joel (and Howard)

 

Joel sits at the window with a box on his lap. Howard takes the seat beside him.

Howard: Hey, how’s it going?

Joel: Hey, Howie, long time. I’m good, I’m good. Movin’ in with Holly. She just had the baby.

Howard: Oh yeah? Congrats, man.

Joel: Thanks.

Howard: (points at the box) Buying baby stuff?

Joel: Nope. Moving.

Howard: On the bus?

Joel: Yep.

Howard: You shoulda told me. I’m picking up my new truck. How much you got left to move?

Joel: This is the last box.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, May 2nd, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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242. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, April 30th, 5:00pm
Simon (and Rachael)

 

Simon sits at the window. Rachael takes the seat beside him.

Rachael: Damnit! (studies her finger)

Simon: Break a nail?

Rachael: Yeah.

Simon: I can fix it for you.

Rachael: You have nail clippers?

Simon: No, just give it here. (grabs for her hand)

Rachael: (recoils) What are you doing?

Simon: I’ll bite it off for you.

Rachael stares, horrified.

Simon: C’mon. Just a nibble.

Rachael changes seats.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, May 1st, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.