Life in progress

Tag Archives: humorous fiction


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157. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right (#SoCS edition)

Sunday, February 4th, 3:00am
Moosh and Hip

 

Moosh: Where are we going again?

Hip: Nowhere.

Moosh: In other words, we’re just going around in circles.

Hip: It’s an experiment.

Moosh: To see how long it takes to get kicked off the bus?

Hip: Exactly.

Moosh: And what if we get kicked off when we’re miles away from home?

Hip: (shrugs) We’ll wait and catch the next bus.

Moosh: But you know it’s going to be the same bus driver. He’s not going to let us back on again.

Hip: Oh. I didn’t think of that. We’ll just have to walk home then.

Moosh: We can’t walk. You’re broken.

Hip: You’ve got crutches.

Moosh: They’re not for walking miles with.

Hip: …

Moosh: (rolls eyes) That’s what I get for having hip for brains.

 

Next stop: Monday, February 5th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.

This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click here to join in! https://lindaghill.com/2018/02/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-3-18/


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156. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, February 3rd, 6:00pm
Michelle (and Sean)

 

Michelle sits at the window, sleeping. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Michelle: (waking up) What the fuck … Where am I?

Sean: Just passed Main Street.

Michelle: (sits up abruptly) Main Street? Shit! I was supposed to get off at Front Street. My mom’s going to kill me! Time is it?

Sean: Ten o’clock.

Michelle: Ten!? I’ve been sleeping for four fucking hours?

Sean: (chuckles) It’s only six. And Front Street’s just up ahead.

Michelle: You’re an asshole, you know that?

Sean: (sighs) Yeah.

 

Next stop: Sunday, February 4th, 3:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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155. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Friday, February 2nd, 9:00pm
Drommen (and Gordon)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Gordon takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Nice dress.

Gordon nods.

Drommen: Going out somewhere fancy?

Gordon smiles and nods.

Drommen: Do you mind if I masturbate?

Gordon: You know I’m a guy, right?

Drommen: Sssure …? Sure I did. Do. I mean.

Gordon: So you don’t care if I’m a guy?

Drommen: Not really. But if it bothers you, just say so.

Gordon: I think it should bother you that you’re even asking.

Drommen: It should bother me? What’s your deal? Does it bother you that you’re wearing a dress?

Gordon: Do I look bothered?

Drommen: Do I?

Gordon: (stares for a moment) This conversation is going nowhere.

Drommen: I agree. (turns to the window)

Gordon: (a moment later) So. Would you like to go to a costume party?

Drommen: What would I go as?

Gordon: A flasher? You’ve got the trench coat.

Drommen: (smiles) Works for me.

 

Next stop: Saturday, February 3rd, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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152. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, January 30th, 5:00pm
Miles (and Phil)

 

Miles sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside him.

Miles: (turning to Phil and smiling) Excuse me, do you have any toilet paper?

Phil moves to another seat.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, January 31st, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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151. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, January 29th, 5:00pm
Phil (and Sherman)

 

Phil sits at the window. Sherman takes the seat beside him.

Phil: (smiling) Hey there!

Sherman: Hi.

Phil: I didn’t know you took the bus.

Sherman: I take the bus every day. It’s environmentally friendly.

Phil: Ha! You’re such a kidder. So I’m finally getting my new car this week.

Sherman: Why do you need a car? You have the bus.

Phil: Ugh, you have to be joking. I can’t stand the bus.

Sherman: And I can’t stand people who drive cars when they can take the bus instead. The bus is already running.

Phil: Wait. You’re not Mike from accounting, are you.

Sherman: I certainly am not!

Phil turns to the window, ignoring Sherman’s ongoing lecture.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, January 30th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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150. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, January 28th, 10:00am
Terry and Shannon

 

Terry: I think I might be depressed.

Shannon: What makes you think that?

Terry: I dunno. I don’t want to do anything anymore.

Shannon: You’re just upset because you lost the Internet at home.

Terry: And with it all my friends.

Shannon: You’ve still got me.

Terry: Yeah, but you’re real.

Shannon: Wh … what does that mean?

Terry: You know. I can only talk to you when you’re not busy. Or sleeping. I can talk to people on the Internet 24/7.

Shannon: They’re real people too …

Terry: (frowns) They can’t be. They never sleep.

Shannon: Of course they sleep. They’re just in different time zones.

Terry: Are you sure?

Shannon: Of course I am. Just look it up on the Intern … (slaps her hand over her mouth)

Terry: (stares for a moment and then turns away, mumbling) I’m so depressed.

 

Next stop: Monday, January 29th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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149. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, January 27th, 9:00pm
Kyra (and Edward)

 

Kyra sits by the window, hugging herself. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Edward: You look cold.

Kyra: It’s frickin’ cold out there.

Edward: (shrugs) Depends.

Kyra: (snorts) On what?

Edward: I’m a vampire. (smiles, showing his fake fangs) We undead don’t get cold.

Kyra: You’re kidding, right?

Edward: No.

Kyra: (closing her eyes and mumbling) Go away. Go away. Go away.

Edward: I can understand why you want me to go away. I’m a predator. You’re, potentially, my prey. But I’ll tell you now, I’m not interested.

Kyra: (opens her eyes) Why not? What’s wrong with me?

Edward: You’re not my Bella.

Kyra: You’re on drugs, aren’t you.

Edward: (smiling) Love is my only drug.

Kyra: (rocking, hugging herself) One of us needs to get off the cheap drugs, and it’d better not be me.

 

Next stop: Sunday, January 28th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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148. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, January 26th, 4:00pm
Michael (and Ernest)

 

Michael sits at the window, reading an e-book on his tablet. Ernest takes the seat beside him.

Ernest: Excuse me.

Michael: (without looking up) Yep.

Ernest: I’m from Windows, and I have reason to believe you have a virus on your computer.

Michael: (without looking up) I don’t have a virus.

Ernest: Would you mind turning your computer on?

Michael: (lifts the tablet an inch off his lap) It is on.

Ernest: Now go to the start menu …

Michael: (looks at him) I. Don’t. Have. A. Virus. Can I see your credentials?

Ernest: Er … I left them at the office.

Michael: And where would the office be?

Ernest makes a run for the door.

 

Next stop: Saturday, January 27th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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147. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, January 25th, 5:00pm
Phil (and Zoey)

 

Phil sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Phil: Cold out.

Zoey: It’s warm in the bus.

Phil: I don’t like the bus.

Zoey: Why are you on it?

Phil: I’m waiting for my new car to be ready. My old one died.

Zoey: Yeah? What’d it die of?

Phil: Old age.

Zoey: Huh.

Phil: Do you work downtown?

Zoey: Nah. I go to school.

Phil: Oh really? What are you taking?

Zoey: Sociology.

Phil: Really.

Zoey: Yeah. I’m doing a thesis on how people talk to each other when they’re on public transportation.

Phil: Oh. Well I’m probably the last person you want to talk to then.

Zoey: Why’s that?

Phil: Because I don’t like to talk to people on the bus. I wish I wasn’t even on the bus.

Zoey takes notes.

 

Next stop: Friday, January 26th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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146. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, January 24th, 5:00pm
Drommen (and Phil)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside him.

Phil: (muttering) Just a week. It’s just a week.

Drommen: Did you say something?

Phil: Oh, no. I mean, yeah. I get my new car in a week.

Drommen: That’s nice.

Phil: Yeah, I hate taking the bus.

Drommen: Ah.

Phil: Don’t you hate the bus?

Drommen: Heh. No. I come on the bus as often as I can.

Phil: Really?

Drommen: Sometimes even when I’m not going anywhere.

Phil: Are you nuts?

Drommen: Some might think I’m all nuts.

Phil raises his eyebrows.

Drommen: If you don’t like it, why don’t you get off?

Phil: Why are YOU such a jerk?

Drommen: It’s what I do.

 

Next stop: Thursday, January 25th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.