Life in progress


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167. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Wednesday, February 14th, 8:00pm
Edward (and Andrea)

 

Edward sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Andrea: THERE you are! I’ve been looking for you forever!

Edward: Who are you?

Andrea: (stares, open-mouthed) You … don’t remember me? I’m the one you were making out with on New Year’s. It was so … I can’t believe you don’t remember me! Look! (pulls down scarf to reveal her neck) You gave me this.

Edward: That certainly looks like mine.

Andrea: Who the fuck else’s would it be?

Edward: I am the only vampire around … Unless it was Lily.

Andrea: Lily? As in, like, a girl? EWWW! It was YOU! We made out! And you don’t remember!

Edward: Oh wait. I remember you now.

Andrea: (smiles) Well of course you do! Nobody forgets me. Especially guys I make out with. So, d’you want to, like, get together? It is Valentine’s Day after all.

Edward: I am kinda hungry. Wanna go for a bite?

Andrea: (giggles) Sure. I could go for some Italian.

Edward: (shakes his head vigorously) Too much garlic.

Andrea: What do you feel like?

Edward: Something bloody.

Andrea: Steak it is!

 

Next stop: Thursday, February 15th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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166. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, February 13th, 5:00pm
Brandon and Jordan

 

Brandon: So tomorrow’s the big day?

Jordan: Yeah. What are you planning to do for Valentine’s?

Brandon: I’m going to have a seizure.

Jordan: (stares) A … what?

Brandon: A seizure. There’s this really hot nurse at the hospital.

Jordan: You’re mocking me for breaking my ankle to get Marissa’s attention, aren’t you.

Brandon: Who me? Nah.

Jordan: Ass.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, February 14th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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A Single Gal’s Guide for this Valentine’s Weekend

Image courtesy of [farconville] at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of [farconville] at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

(For ladies only. Men; don’t read.) This Saturday is Valentine’s Day – a perfect opportunity for a date with that great guy. But what if, like me, you’re single and dateless? Here’s what you can do instead:

7. Take yourself out for a nice dinner!
Spend Sunday reconciling how you managed to spend less on a filet mignon, a lobster tail and a bottle of fine wine than you spent at Desserts R’ Us.

6. Stay home with an expensive bottle of wine and your favourite flavour of Haagen Dazs!
Spend Sunday figuring out which one you regret the most. (Hint: it’s the combination of the two.)

5. Knit a sweater!
Realize Sunday morning that it’s never going to fit you – it’s for that fabulous guy you don’t have. Spend the rest of the day undoing it and knitting yourself a blankie to cry into.

4. Watch The Notebook!
Spend Sunday convincing yourself that it’s better not to have a romantic partner – you won’t have to worry about remembering who he is in 50 years.

3. Watch Magic Mike!
Spend Sunday shopping for replacement batteries. (You know what I’m talking about, ladies.)

2. Get yourself dolled up and go to the theatre to watch 50 Shades of Grey!
Spend Sunday inventing excuses for your family to explain why the fire department showed up at your house at midnight. Anything but the truth – that you somehow managed to handcuff yourself to the bed posts in your sexiest lingerie and then dropped the key but managed to hang on to the phone. Oh myyy!!

1. Spend Saturday night curled up with a nice glass of your favourite beverage and a great book!
Sunday, repeat.

I don’t know about you gals, but I think I might stick with #1. 😉


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Ho Ho Ho! Navigator Santa’s coming to EDDD town

Wrapped by a former grade 1 felon

Wrapped by a former grade 1 felon

While the very delightful LindaGHill, blogger extraordinaire, recovers from her ice storm battle scars—wounded in action, or WIA as we like to say—, it falls to me to (wo)man the ramparts of this blogosphere bastion. The chain of command remains intact.

Right. So when I was in grade 1, a wee lad all of six years old, I had the venerable old Mrs. Thompson for my teacher. Not only did she strap me for talking in class, she actually once gave me detention for Valentine’s Day.

This little boy didn’t like arts and crafts. Mrs. T had deemed that my Valentine heart didn’t meet her standard for my mother, so the Thompsonator kept me after class until I got it right.

Mean old bat. No wonder I have issues.

As the image above shows, there is a reason why I didn’t like arts and crafts. I flat out suck at it. The image above is my most recent attempt at wrapping a pretty Christmas gift. It’s pretty, alright. Pretty gruesome job of wrapping.

So my question to you, fellow devoted followers of Linda, is whether or not the quality of the gift wrapping matters.

And happy 22nd EDDD to each and all.