Thursday, February 15th, 6:00pm
Andrea (and Lacey)
Andrea sits at the window. Lacey takes the seat beside her.
Andrea: Oh. My. God. Lace, you won’t believe what happened.
Lacey: Lay it on me.
Andrea: You know that guy, right? That, like, Edward guy?
Lacey: The one you’re …
Andrea: The one I’m in love with, right. Anyway, I saw him on yesterday. Right here on the bus. Can you believe it? And so we’re making a date with it being, like, Valentine’s, and everything is going great, and then, get this: I mentioned going out for a steak and he took off!
Lacey: No!
Andrea: He jumped right … out … the fuckin’ … window!
Lacey: No. Way.
Andrea: WAY! Can you imagine? He’s, like, so scared of me now, that he jumps out the window of a moving bus!
Lacey: It was moving?
Andrea: YES! You’d think a vampire would be able to handle a little steak, so, like, it’s gotta be me.
Wednesday, February 14th, 8:00pm
Edward (and Andrea)
Edward sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.
Andrea: THERE you are! I’ve been looking for you forever!
Edward: Who are you?
Andrea:(stares, open-mouthed) You … don’t remember me? I’m the one you were making out with on New Year’s. It was so … I can’t believe you don’t remember me! Look! (pulls down scarf to reveal her neck) You gave me this.
Edward: That certainly looks like mine.
Andrea: Who the fuck else’s would it be?
Edward: I am the only vampire around … Unless it was Lily.
Andrea: Lily? As in, like, a girl? EWWW! It was YOU! We made out! And you don’t remember!
Edward: Oh wait. I remember you now.
Andrea:(smiles) Well of course you do! Nobody forgets me. Especially guys I make out with. So, d’you want to, like, get together? It is Valentine’s Day after all.
Edward: I am kinda hungry. Wanna go for a bite?
Andrea:(giggles) Sure. I could go for some Italian.
Edward:(shakes his head vigorously) Too much garlic.
Thursday, February 8th, 7:00pm
Bella and Edgar (and Edward)
Edgar: It’s going to be great meeting your parents. Do you really think they’ll like me?
Bella: What’s not to like? You were the captain of the football team, which my dad is going to love.
Edgar: That was a couple of years ago though.
Bella: And now you’re an electrical engineer. (takes his arm and hugs it) Brains and strength.
Edgar: And your mom?
Bella: You know how to cook. She’ll be very impressed. (kisses him on the cheek)
Edgar: Thanks. I feel bett …
Edward: (popping up in the seat behind) Who’s this, Bella?
Bella:(rolling her eyes) He’s my boyfriend. What’s it to you?
Edward: He’s not meant for you. I am.
Bella: You’re crazy.
Edward: Crazy in love with you.
Edgar:(turns) Step aside, man.
Edward: I will not! Bella is the love of my life! My soulmate! There can only be one for h …
Edgar: (punches him in the nose) I said, step aside. The lady wants nothing to do with you.
Edward: (holding his nose and heading for the door) I’ll get you for this! You have no idea what it’s like to feel the wrath of a vampire! (gets off the bus)
Edgar: Do you think your friend Drommen will be happy with that little performance?
Bella:(smiling) Very. You really should come and meet my parents. For real.
Edgar: Don’t you think we should go out together first?
Andrea: So yeah, like, I met this guy on New Year’s Eve. Right here on the bus. And he was, like, oh my God, so HOT!!
Lacey: No way!
Andrea: Oh, like, SO way! So we get off the bus, right? And immediately we start making out. Look (pulls at scarf) you can see where he gave me a hickey.
Lacey: Oh my God, that’s not just, like, one hickey.
Andrea: Right? He just about went to town on my neck and I’m, like, enough with the neck thing, okay? So he starts, like, doing other stuff but he never leaves off my neck, right?
Lacey: Uh huh.
Andrea: And so the next thing I know, we’re, like, getting into this big fight but then my alarm goes off and it’s, like, Oh my God! It’s midnight! Right? So he grabs me and, like, kisses me …
Lacey: On the neck?
Andrea: Whatever. And then he, like, drags me off into the park, and the next thing I know I’m waking up on a bench with all these blankets on me and it’s, like, yesterday morning already.
Lacey: What the…
Andrea: I know, right? And get this: I was covered in sparkles. I can’t even wash some of them off. Look. (pulls down scarf on the other side) So I’m hoping I’ll see him again and ask him, like, what the fuck happened?
Wednesday, December 27th, 8:00pm
Bella (and Edward) (and Lily)
Bella sits in the aisle seat. Edward takes the seat behind her.
Edward: I have a confession.
Bella: Oh God, not you again.
Edward: I’m serious, Bella. I have something I need to tell you.
Bella: Leave me alone.
Edward: I fooled around on you.
Bella ignores him.
Edward: With another vampire.
Bella ignores him.
Edward: Bella, I can see this is tearing you up inside and I apologize. I was weak.
Bella continues to ignore him.
Edward: I’m not surprised you’re not talking to me. I wouldn’t talk to me either. (gets up and sits back down abruptly) Oh no. That’s her. You have to pretend you don’t know me.
Bella: (laughs and turns around) Are you serious? Now you want me to ignore you so your little vampire girlfriend doesn’t know you’re in love with someone else?
Edward:(ducking down behind the seat, stage whispers) Don’t talk to me!
Bella: Oh come on, Edward. You know me!
Edward: Stop it!
Lily: (approaches) Edward get up!
Edward sits stiffly, staring forward.
Bella:(to Lily) He’s pretending he doesn’t know me … Oh God, not another one.
Lily:(showing a mouthful of fake fangs) Bitch!
Bella pulls the bell cord and hurries to the front of the bus to get off.
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