Monday, May 28th, 5:00pm
Jules and Francis
Jules: This is so far below me.
Francis: It’s a bus: a glorified limo.
Jules: With people I don’t know in it!
Francis: So … meet them!
Jules: (stands) Hello, fellow travellers! I’m Jules!
Jules waits for a response for a few moments.
Jules: (sits) They’re all mute.
Next stop: Tuesday, May 29th, 5:00pm
Something has been bugging me for the past week. Actually, Facebook has been bugging me for the past week, telling me how close I am to having 500 followers on my author page. Because for a week now, my followers have equaled 499. I’m so close!
So if you have a Facebook profile and you haven’t already “liked” my page, put me out of my misery, would you? As well as links to all my blog posts, you’ll find the occasional funny or inspirational post, and once in a while, posts to support other authors.
And virtual cookies for everyone!
https://www.facebook.com/lindaghill.fiction/
Sunday, May 27th, 9:00am
Gary and Danielle
Gary: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who swims?
Danielle: Bob.
Gary: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who water skis?
Danielle: Skip.
Gary: What do you call a dog with no legs?
Danielle: Doesn’t matter. He won’t come to you anyway.
Gary: What’s the biggest advantage of being a test-tube baby?
Danielle: You get a womb with a view.
Gary: You’re a real know-it-all, aren’t you?
Danielle: Yep.
Gary: I need new friends.
Danielle: What you need is jokes less than 30 years old.
Gary: Touché
Next stop: Monday, May 28th, 5:00pm
Saturday, May 26th, 4:00pm
Crystal and Jasmine
Crystal: So I’m, like, sitting in the coffee shop minding my own business, right?
Jasmine: Uh huh.
Crystal: And this guy comes up to me and asks me if he can sit down and I’m, like, ‘there’s plenty of other seats in here’ and he’s, like, ‘well I thought I could sit with you. You’re really pretty.’
Jasmine: No. Way. So what did you do?
Crystal: Like, exactly what anyone would do. I threw my coffee at him.
Jasmine: I hope it was hot.
Crystal: (smiles) Straight out of the steamer.
Jasmine: Serves him right.
Crystal: Right? Oh my God. Some people.
Next stop: Sunday, May 27th, 9:00am
I had no idea, honestly, what I was going to write for today’s prompt. Here in Canada we don’t call the thing we cook on outside “The Grill” as much as we call it just a plain old barbeque. (I spell it that way because in this household with all the sign language going on, we fingerspell it “BBQ” for Alex.) (And anyway, it’s English, damnit.) Nine times out of ten if you read the cooking instructions on Canadian food packaging, it will say “In the Frying Pan,” or “On the Barbeque” rather than “On the Grill.” Holy Hell, where am I with this post?
Oh yeah. So we do grill vegetables but we do it on the barbeque, so my idea for this prompt wasn’t to talk about cooking on “The Grill.” My idea was nothing, really, except the word “grill.”
But then my son Chris came out to the kitchen and asked me to make his grilled cheese sandwich. He has one at 11:30am every day. It’s his schedule, which can’t be deviated from. When he said it I was, like, “duh!” There’s my prompt.
When I first discovered grilled cheese sandwiches back as a teenager, I think, I was told they were made by buttering both sides of the bread. And I actually did it for a while, before I figured out I only really needed to butter the outside. What a mess! (This, by the way, is something I’ve never told anyone. You’re the first to know!) Of course grilled cheese sandwiches have nothing to do with a grill of any kind, and I have no idea why they’re called that.
I do hope my kids realize after I’m gone how much of their history (and mine) is recorded here in this blog. They stand to learn so much about their mother and where they came from before they were born. But they never read it.
I should write a memoir one day. I wish my parents had.
Happy long weekend to all my friends in the US!
Badge by J-Dub @ https://jilywily.wordpress.com/
This strangely reflective post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find all the other entries and join us with your own today! https://lindaghill.com/2018/05/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-26-18/
Note: Adult theme
Friday, May 25th, 6:00pm
Drommen (and Yolanda)
Drommen sits at the window. Yolanda takes the seat beside him.
Drommen: Nice day.
Yolanda: It sure is.
Drommen: Do you mind if I masturbate?
Yolanda: You gonna make it worth my while?
Drommen: I think I can do that. (begins to undo fly)
Yolanda: Coz if you’re not going to make it worth my while, you can forget it.
Drommen: (pauses) What … do you mean worth your while?
Yolanda: I got score cards.
Drommen: You have score cards? Like figure skating score cards?
Yolanda: Yeah, but they’re score cards for guys who play with themselves on the bus.
Drommen stares, speechless.
Yolanda: Come on. Let’s see what you got.
Drommen: Never mind.
Next stop: Saturday, May 26th, 4:00pm
Welcome to the Friday reminder for the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. Well, the weather’s getting hot here, so I guess we’ve had our three hours of spring. At least that’s what it feels like. Can’t never make a Canadian happy, I tell ye. Here’s your prompt:
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “grill.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!
After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at this week’s prompt page, and check to make sure it’s here in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post. Anyone can join in!
To make your post more visible, use our new SoCS badge! Just paste it in your Saturday post so people browsing the reader will immediately know your post is stream of consciousness and/or pin it as a widget to your site to show you’re a participant. Wear it with pride!!
Badge by J-Dub @ https://jilywily.wordpress.com/
Here are the rules:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
8. Have fun!
Thursday, May 24th, 4:00pm
Drew (and Sean)
Drew sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside him.
Drew: Have you ever wondered at the delicacy of the connection we have with society on the world wide web?
Sean: No.
Drew: Think about it. We’ve become so reliant on this service, this technology. And yet it is what it is: a web. Strong and yet so precarious. We stomp along the spokes, hopping around what is essentially the world, and yet what if it should break?
Sean: Snail mail?
Drew: Indeed. You’re very smart, young man. Where do you get all that intellectual prowess from?
Sean: (shrugs) I saw a street address on the back of a cereal box once, for people who don’t have the internet.
Drew: Really?
Sean: Count Chocula, I think.
Drew: Fascinating.
Next stop: Friday, May 25th, 6:00pm
Note: Strong Language
Wednesday, May 23rd, 6:00pm
Drommen (and Hillary)
Drommen sits at the window. Hillary takes the seat beside him.
Hillary: Hey, how goes it?
Drommen: Well thanks, and you?
Hillary: Ehh, not bad I guess. Same shit.
Drommen nods.
Hillary: I kinda been missing you.
Drommen: Really?
Hillary: (shrugs) Kinda.
Drommen: That’s funny, I’ve kind of been missing you too.
Hillary: What do you say we go out for a coffee or something?
Drommen: Just a coffee?
Hillary: If you want.
Drommen: That sounds nice. Actually, I’ve got something for you.
Hillary frowns.
Drommen: No, not that. It’s something I bought the other day. You can have it if you want it.
Hillary: What is it?
Drommen: It’s a tablet.
Hillary: Like, a computer tablet?
Drommen: Yeah.
Hillary: And you want to give it to me?
Drommen: Sure.
Hillary: You really are a weirdo, aren’t you?
Drommen: (cocks head) I guess.
Hillary: How about we start with a coffee?
Drommen: Okay.
Next stop: Thursday, May 24th, 4:00pm
If I can’t come up with a one-liner for my own prompt, will I go to jail? More importantly, how will I be sentenced?
If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.
NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.
Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”
The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
1. Make it one sentence.
2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.
3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
4. Add our lovely new badge to your post for extra exposure!
5. Have fun!
#1linerWeds badge by Cheryl, at dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/
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