Okay, I didn’t actually destroy the computers at Service Ontario (where we renew our licenses and health cards), but I didn’t seem to do them any favours.
If you read my bloated one-liner on Wednesday (here), you’ll know that whilst out at the mall, not one but two computers in the stores I visited crapped out while I was there. Apparently my reign of terror was not over. It happened again. Yesterday.
Both my son Chris and I needed to renew our health cards. So we went into the office and sat to wait our turn, as you do. We were called up to Desk #6 (there are 9) and the lady started filling out the paperwork. When she tried to take Chris’s picture, it didn’t work. The camera was fine, but the computer wouldn’t capture the image. So she sent us to Desk #3.
A nice lady helped us through the process and got Chris all set. Then it was my turn. As she was processing my paperwork, the computer started glitching.
“Oh no,” I said and then explained to her what had happened at the mall.
She waved it off good-naturedly and suggested we take my picture while the computer was doing its thing.
“I’ll try not to break your camera,” I said as I stepped in front of it.
The lady thought that was hilarious, and we laughed until I had to do the serious face for my photo. Then came her serious face when the picture didn’t work. Her computer crashed.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll just pass you off to my colleague at Desk #4.”
The other lady with whom she shared a workspace and who hadn’t been busy for a while said that if her camera worked, it wasn’t me, it was the lady she worked with who broke the computer.
So I stood in front of the camera again and we laughed and laughed, and I got serious, and then we all got serious. It didn’t work. At this point, three out of nine computers weren’t working.
So the lady at Desk #4 asked us to have a seat while she called IT. While we sat there (right by the desk), a man passed us to go to Desk #2. A woman was following him so closely, that I thought they were together. The man approached the desk but the woman stood back.
“You just called me to this desk,” she said, confused. It was obvious the two weren’t together at this point.
“Oh,” said the man behind Desk #2. “Sorry, just take a seat and we’ll call you up next. It happens sometimes that the computer calls two people up at the same time. Must be a glitch.”
Shortly after that we went back to Desk #4 and I got my confirmation that my renewal had gone through offsite. The lady’s computer still wasn’t working, but they’d done it somehow through another office. Obviously one where I wasn’t physically present.
I’ve always wished I was a better dancer. It’s not that I’m uncoordinated–I figure skated for eight years, until I was 16 (though I fell a lot, once cutting myself badly enough with my skate blade to have dozens of stiches), I have a brown belt in Shotokan karate … which I haven’t practiced in ten years or so, and I haven’t broken anything. Yet.
Oh, except for my ribs, but they may have only been cracked. I had this Chevy Blazer, you see. It was back when carburetors were a thing, and I flooded the engine on a regular basis. I got good at taking the lid off the filter and sticking a screwdriver in the top of the carburetor to hold the choke open while I started the engine. One day, I was coming out of my doctor’s office and I flooded the engine. So I climbed out with my trusty screwdriver, opened the hood, and stood, as I usually did, on the front bumper of the truck (it was very high) to do my thing. Got it started okay, but when I went to retrieve the screwdriver, my feet slipped off the bumper and down I went on the hood latch. I basically impaled myself. I managed to get down and rolled around on the ground, screaming, until a nice man helped me up and back into the doctor’s office.
I learned a lesson that day. Which was, obviously, be careful not to stand over the hood latch.
So anyway, I can’t dance. At least not well. Which has absolutely nothing to do with breaking my ribs, but there you go. That’s what Stream of Consciousness Saturday is all about … tangents. Hey, I could have called it Tangent Tuesday instead! Feel free to use that.
In photo: fridge magnets spelling “Mom” with an 8 for an “o” and the inverse below, spelling “Wow” using the same 8. Mind blown.
Also, it was just a migraine, not a stroke. I’m healthy has a …. healthy person who gets migraines.
Here are the general rules to follow for Just Jot it January:
1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!
2. I’ll post the daily prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5), every day except for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness (SoCS) prompt–you’ll find that one on Friday morning at 9:30am. That daily post (i.e. this one) will be where you leave your link for others to find in the comment section. There will be a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday.
2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
(i) Make it one sentence.
(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.
(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
(iv) Enjoy yourself!
(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge.
3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will appear at the top.
4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.
5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!
6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of theday. You can link any kind of jot back here. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link or close to your pingback.
7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.
Occupational hazards are present in every job, it seems. I mean seriously, you would think staying at home working on a computer in your pajamas has to be the safest thing you can possibly do. Apparently not. I need to get up and move occasionally. And the eyes! They’re at risk as well unless I look away from the screen regularly. I suppose that’s true of many desk jobs, though. Even ones that aren’t performed in one’s pajamas.
Companies should have pajama days, don’t you think? Casual Fridays have been a thing for many years, but what about designating a day of the week, or even a day of the month, so people can go to work as though they’re shopping at Wal-mart? Oh, and especially if you work at Wal-mart, though that would be more of a dress-up-like-the-customers day.
Not sure why I’m picking on Wal-mart, though. I see people walking around in their pjs in the grocery store, around the mall … hell, even I ran out to the bus a couple of months back to hand Alex something he’d forgotten for school, dressed in my sleep clothes. (“Sleep clothes” is what I call them in sign language – it’s managed to translate to English nine times out of ten in my house.)
Speaking of sleep, my Saturday Second Seat on the Right series post will come out at 11:58pm my time–hopefully I’ll be sleeping (what a segue!)–and then Sunday’s Second Seat post will appear at 12:01am, just three minutes later. If you’re a regular reader, don’t miss them! It’s kind of a two-parter. Could I call it a bi-parter? Because then, if it had eight parts, I could call it an octo-parter …
This post full of sleep-clothes madness is brought to you by Just Jot it January …
Short on inspiration and energy: a comic from Facebook, originated from http://buttersafe.com/
*comic shows stick figure sitting, laying down, begging, and sitting up in a coffin. Caption: Dog tricks: not as impressive when done by humans
Here are the general rules to follow for Just Jot it January:
1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!
2. I’ll post the daily prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5), every day except for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness (SoCS) prompt–you’ll find that one on Friday morning at 9:30am. That daily post (i.e. this one) will be where you leave your link for others to find in the comment section. There will be a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday.
2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
(i) Make it one sentence.
(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.
(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
(iv) Enjoy yourself!
(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge.
3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will appear at the top.
4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.
5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!
6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of theday. You can link any kind of jot back here. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link or close to your pingback.
7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.
It’s the age-old battle of mother and child, yet since I became an editor, it has taken on a new tone:
(The first photo, in fridge magnets, is written “Mom! Stop editing my life” and in the second image, is written “Fred! Stop editing my fridge.)
Here are the general rules to follow for Just Jot it January:
1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!
2. I’ll post the daily prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5), every day except for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness (SoCS) prompt–you’ll find that one on Friday morning at 9:30am. That daily post (i.e. this one) will be where you leave your link for others to find in the comment section. There will be a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday.
2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:
(i) Make it one sentence.
(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.
(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.
(iv) Enjoy yourself!
(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge.
3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will appear at the top.
4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.
5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!
6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of theday. You can link any kind of jot back here. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link or close to your pingback.
7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.
What I want to write about today is and isn’t pants; it’s panties. I’ll start by explaining how I got from one to the other: in a word, English. In North America, pants are the things we walk around in that everyone sees. In the UK pants are trousers, and underwear are pants. I honestly wish we could call them that here too, even though I hate the word “trousers.”
But you know what word I hate even more? “Panties.” I use it for lack of a better word when I write fiction–underwear seems such a bulky word. One that conjures, in my mind, visions of undergarments that cover from the lowest part of the butt cheek to the waist. To have the hero of one of my stories strip his lady love of everything but a pair of those would quickly transform the sexiest scene into either a comedy or worse, something that would make me gag.
I didn’t grow up calling them panties, which may be why I’m so adverse to the word. What do you think? Is “panties” as distasteful for you as it is for me? Do you have a better word?
I’ve considered having all my characters go commando, just so I don’t have to deal with it at all.
I strive to do everything economically. Balance my budget, manage my time effectively, eat things with not too many calories, and plan my movements around the house. You know, stuff like piling things at the bottom of the stairs to take all at once or the next time I go up, rather than make a special trip. But then the Fitbit came into my life and screwed everything up. Or at least the economy of movement bit.
Now I take extra trips from the fridge to the table in an effort to get more steps in. I know I should just bite the bullet and go for a walk, but the bullet is an ice cube at the moment and it’s just too much bloody trouble to get all dressed only to turn around and run back to the safety of the warmth of my house after going 10 feet up the street because my nose broke off when I went to wipe it.
Can you tell I write fiction?
Fiction with run-on sentences? (I don’t! I edit my fiction, damnit! I’m not allowed to edit this. Stop judging me!!!)
Where was I?
Oh yes, economy of movement. It’s all about multi-tasking. Those of us who are good at that have learned to plan our movements ahead of time so as not to waste energy doing things that are unnecessary. I used to walk around the track at the fitness centre all the time. That really makes no sense, as I’m using energy and never going anywhere. So I used the time plotting stories in my head, listening to music that would inspire me. I miss going to the track, but I’ve been too busy to go. I must start going there again. Because let’s face it, I ain’t getting many steps in between the fridge and the table unless I’m eating my own weight in snacks to keep myself doing something worthwhile.
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