Life in progress

Tag Archives: humour


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One-Liner Wednesday & #JusJoJan Daily Prompt – January 17, 2018

Short on inspiration and energy: a comic from Facebook, originated from http://buttersafe.com/

*comic shows stick figure sitting, laying down, begging, and sitting up in a coffin. Caption: Dog tricks: not as impressive when done by humans

Here are the general rules to follow for Just Jot it January:

1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. I’ll post the daily prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5), every day except for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness (SoCS) prompt–you’ll find that one on Friday morning at 9:30am. That daily post (i.e. this one) will be where you leave your link for others to find in the comment section. There will be a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday.

2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

(i) Make it one sentence.

(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.

(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

(iv) Enjoy yourself!

(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge.

3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will appear at the top.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of the day. You can link any kind of jot back here. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link or close to your pingback.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.

8. Have fun!

To find the full list of daily prompts from now until the end of the month, click this link: https://lindaghill.com/2017/12/27/what-is-just-jot-it-january-2018-rules/ and scroll down to the bottom of the post.


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134. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, January 12th, 8:00pm
Gargoyle #1 and Gargoyle #2

 

Gargoyle #1: Hey, do you want to get stoned?

Gargoyle #2: I already am.

 

Next stop: Saturday, January 13th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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#JusJoJan 2018, the 9th – Coffee

It’s quite obvious I didn’t get enough today.

Not that I go there often anymoreaddi since I don’t get out much, but there was a boycott of sorts today of Tim Horton’s here in Canada. Something to do with the raise of minimum wage and them not wanting to pay for breaks or something. I don’t know. I love Tim’s, but I didn’t go there today. I wouldn’t have, anyway.

Honestly, I wish I could survive on coffee alone. But too much of it upsets my stomach, and I’m not sure it doesn’t mess with my sleep, too, if I drink it later in the evening.

However, if you’re buying, I take it with double cream, no sugar …

This post was brought to you by Just Jot it January, and in particular, prompted by the word, “coffee,” provided by Barbara! Thank you so much, Barbara! You can find her JusJoJan post by clicking right here. Please go and say hi! To participate in the prompt, please visit this post, where you’ll find the rules and you can leave your link in the comments.


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#JusJoJan 2018, the 8th – Pants

What I want to write about today is and isn’t pants; it’s panties. I’ll start by explaining how I got from one to the other: in a word, English. In North America, pants are the things we walk around in that everyone sees. In the UK pants are trousers, and underwear are pants. I honestly wish we could call them that here too, even though I hate the word “trousers.”

But you know what word I hate even more? “Panties.” I use it for lack of a better word when I write fiction–underwear seems such a bulky word. One that conjures, in my mind, visions of undergarments that cover from the lowest part of the butt cheek to the waist. To have the hero of one of my stories strip his lady love of everything but a pair of those would quickly transform the sexiest scene into either a comedy or worse, something that would make me gag.

I didn’t grow up calling them panties, which may be why I’m so adverse to the word. What do you think? Is “panties” as distasteful for you as it is for me? Do you have a better word?

I’ve considered having all my characters go commando, just so I don’t have to deal with it at all.

This post was brought to you by Just Jot it January, and in particular, prompted by the word, “pants,” provided by pensitivity! Thank you so much! You can find her JusJoJan post by clicking right here. Please go and say hi! To participate in the prompt, please visit this post, where you’ll find the rules and you can leave your link in the comments.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Spoiling it All

I had “something stupid” written on the fridge but I needed an “s” for another word, so I ended up with this:

Now I have a song stuck in my head …

“And then I go and spoil it all
by saying something tepid like I like yoooou.”

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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion


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One-Liner Wednesday – A Best Friend’s Advice

Scene (true story): I’m sitting in the pantry, which is little more than a cupboard, to escape the bright sunlight streaming through the kitchen window. I’ve pulled the kitchen table, with my laptop on it, in with me. My best friend, John, walks into the kitchen.

Me: Yes, I know, I’m in the closet.

Him: You can come out. It’s the twenty-first century.

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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion


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#SoCS – Style

I’m not sure if I’ve ever had a style that one could cramp. As a teenager, I went by the general style of “get away with anything I can,” yet nothing in particular sticks out much. I didn’t smoke or do drugs, and by the time I started drinking, my mother had stopped. So the water in the booze to keep the level up went unnoticed. I think it might have ended up being so watered down that even I didn’t bother with it.

My style now amounts to being alone as much as possible so I can work. Oooh, I’m such a party animal in my old age. 😛 In fact nothing cramps my style any more as much as actual cramps do. And believe me, my walk has style for the first few minutes in the morning.

Now, just don’t get between me and my coffee. Or I’ll cramp your style.

*waves and limps off into the sunset*

This crampy post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click to see all the other posts linked in the comments, and to join in too! https://lindaghill.com/2017/12/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-2-17/


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One-Liner Wednesday – Heretofore

Bread shall heretofore be referred to only as “raw toast.” That is all.

__________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion


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89. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, November 28th, 6:00pm 10:00pm
Stuart (and Maurice)

 

Stuart sits at the window. Maurice takes the seat beside him.

Maurice: Fancy meeting you here!

Stuart: (shakes his head) I’m lucky to be here, I tell you.

Maurice: Oh oh. What’s up?

Stuart: Well, I was supposed to have caught the six o’clock today, but I slept in.

Maurice: All the way to six in the evening?

Stuart: (nods) Uh huh. Had one wicked headache this afternoon, so I went to lay down. Then I started having this nightmare. I couldn’t breathe!

Maurice: It was only a nightmare though, right?

Stuart: Nope. Damned cat was laying on my face. So I pushed it off, as you do, and it mustn’t have liked that very much.

Maurice: No?

Stuart: Nuh uh. It jumped out in front of me as I was walking to the bathroom, I fell over: cracked my head on the door jam.

Maurice: No way!

Stuart: Yep. Just woke up.

Maurice: Wait, didn’t you say you slept in?

Stuart: Yep. Cat peed on the rug again. Slept in cat piss for oh (looks at watch) a good couple hours.

 

 

Next stop: Wednesday, November 29th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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#SoCS – Why bother?

I spend so much time reading, editing, and (occasionally) writing fiction these days, I sometimes find myself narrating my movements around my house. Usually only in my head … usually. So I have to ask myself, why bother with ink? I do suppose it helps convey my narration to other people … but seriously, do you need to know I need to buy more toilet paper? My narration is incredibly interesting, as you can see.

Speaking of ink, I’ve recently discovered the joy of gel pens. Particularly Papermate InkJoy gel pens. They’re fantastic to write with. They make me want to write … well, pretty much anything. Shopping lists, permission slips to send my son off on field trips, notes about other people’s books … Hey! I should write a book of my own! Yeah, I should get on that.

I’m sitting here looking at my inky black cat. Why in heaven do we think of black when the word “inky” comes along? Ink comes in so many different colours now. We’re not living in an age where we have to use a feather to write with. And a pot of ink … can you imagine? Having to do that? Our computer screens would be a mess!!

Casper

On that note, I think it’s time to call it a day.

It’s a day!

This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find all the other posts in the comments. Read some, write one – it’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2017/11/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-25-17/