Thursday, February 22nd, 6:00pm
Miles (and Hillary)
Miles sits at the window. Hillary takes the seat beside him.
Miles: Excuse me.
Hillary regards him.
Miles: Do you have any toilet paper?
Hillary laughs until she almost misses her stop.
Next stop: Friday, February 23rd, 7:00pm
Wednesday, February 21st, 3:00pm
Colm and Harvey
Colm: I need to tell you …
Harvey: What? What is it?
Colm: I can’t do it anymore.
Harvey: Neither can I.
Colm: Seriously? I thought you’d be upset.
Harvey: No. I understand. Completely.
Colm: (exhales deeply) Good. To be honest, I was getting tired of putting on makeup and prancing around the living room until the neighbours called the cops.
Harvey: (stares) I thought you meant taking the bus!
Colm: Damn it.
Next stop: Thursday, February 22nd, 6:00pm
Tuesday, February 20th, 4:00pm
Jordan (and Brandon)
Jordan sits at the window. Brandon takes the seat beside him.
Brandon: Hey, man, haven’t seen you around. What you been up to?
Jordan: Oh, this and that.
Brandon: Yeah? How’d Valentine’s go with Marissa?
Jordan: It didn’t.
Brandon: It … what?
Jordan: It didn’t. I changed my mind.
Brandon: So, what did Marissa do?
Jordan: (shakes head) It’s over. She called me a pussy.
Brandon: That’s tough, bro.
Jordan: Yeah, whatever.
Brandon: Hey, you wanna go for a beer?
Jordan: May as well. Nothin’ better to do.
Brandon: ‘At’s my bro.
Next stop: Wednesday, February 21st, 3:00pm
Monday, February 19th, 8:00am
Michael (and DeeDee)
Michael sits at the window, reading. DeeDee takes the seat beside him.
DeeDee: (clears throat) Excuse me, sir?
Michael: I’m reading.
DeeDee: (shifts nervously in the seat) I’d like to interrupt you, if I may.
Michael: (looks up for the first time and does a double take) What for?
DeeDee: I’m sorry, but I’d like to ask you to help me. I’m doing a project for college, and I need to interview someone on the bus.
Michael: (smiles and closes his book on his lap) I’d be pleased to help out.
DeeDee: (exhales deeply) Thank you!
Michael observes her as she bends to pull a notepad out of her back pack.
DeeDee: (holds up finger) I’m almost ready.
Michael: Take your time.
DeeDee: Here we go. (straightens and holds a banana up to her mouth) First question: What would you say is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen on the bus? (moves the banana in Michael’s direction)
Michael: (hesitates) You’re … joking, right?
DeeDee: (brings the banana back) About what? (moves the banana out)
Michael: You’re interviewing me with a banana.
DeeDee: (brings the banana back) No I’m not. (holds up notepad) It’s a notepad.
Michael shakes his head and goes back to reading.
Next stop: Tuesday, February 20th, 4:00pm
Sunday, February 18th, 11:00am
MoJo and JoJo
MoJo: I tell ya, man, I’m really getting sick of winter.
JoJo: Me too, man. You betcha.
MoJo: We should seriously get a plane outta here.
JoJo: We should! Def!
MoJo: Where should we go?
JoJo: As far south as we can possibly get, man.
MoJo: Def.
JoJo: Like, the south pole, man.
MoJo: Whoa. Really? We can do that?
JoJo: Why not? I’ll get right on it. Soon as we get home!
MoJo: Cool, man! Let’s do it!
They high five each other.
JoJo: South pole, here we come!
MoJo: Book it!
Next stop: Monday, February 19th, 8:00am
Saturday, February 17th, 8:00pm
Edward and Lily
Edward: … so she threatened me with a stake.
Lily: No way!
Edward: Yes way!
Lily: I think we should get her before she gets us. She’s clearly dangerous.
Edward: What do you mean, “get her”?
Lily: You know, get her. Take her down. Down to the ground. Down INTO the ground, if you know what I mean.
Edward: No.
Lily: What do you mean, “no”?
Edward: You’ve got to stay away from her.
Lily: If you think I’m just going to sit by and wait for her to come along with a wooden stake, and…
Edward: I’ll take care of her. I’ll drain her and make her one of us. That’s what I’ll do.
Lily: But … I don’t want there to be another girl vampire. You’ve got me.
Edward: So?
Lily: So, you’ve got me!
Edward: You’re being irrational.
Lily: I’m being irrational? Edward, this girl might have friends. Next thing you know, they’ll be coming after us with torches and pitchforks!
Edward: You’re just jealous.
Lily: I’m … what? Me? Jealous? No way.
Edward: Yes way.
Lily: (turns away, mumbling) You’re insane.
Next stop: Sunday, February 18th, 11:00am
Friday, February 16th, 6:00pm
Clint (and Anna)
Clint sits at the window. Anna takes the seat beside him.
Anna: Bus is busy today.
Clint: (drawing himself up straight) This ain’t busy.
Anna: It’s not?
Clint: Li’l missy, I seen busy buses, and this bus ain’t busy.
Anna: Huh.
Clint: Yep. I bin up an’ down this country on buses. I bin west to east an back ag’in. I bin …
Anna: … ridin’ the steel horse?
Clint: (lowers brow and stares into her eyes) You’re a li’l smarty pants, ain’t you missy.
Anna: Who me? Nah.
Clint adjusts himself and stares out the window into the distance.
Next stop: Saturday, February 17th, 8:00pm
Note: Strong language
Thursday, February 15th, 6:00pm
Andrea (and Lacey)
Andrea sits at the window. Lacey takes the seat beside her.
Andrea: Oh. My. God. Lace, you won’t believe what happened.
Lacey: Lay it on me.
Andrea: You know that guy, right? That, like, Edward guy?
Lacey: The one you’re …
Andrea: The one I’m in love with, right. Anyway, I saw him on yesterday. Right here on the bus. Can you believe it? And so we’re making a date with it being, like, Valentine’s, and everything is going great, and then, get this: I mentioned going out for a steak and he took off!
Lacey: No!
Andrea: He jumped right … out … the fuckin’ … window!
Lacey: No. Way.
Andrea: WAY! Can you imagine? He’s, like, so scared of me now, that he jumps out the window of a moving bus!
Lacey: It was moving?
Andrea: YES! You’d think a vampire would be able to handle a little steak, so, like, it’s gotta be me.
Lacey: Wait, what kind of stake?
Andrea: (eyes wide) NO!
Next stop: Friday, February 16th, 6:00pm
Note: Strong language
Wednesday, February 14th, 8:00pm
Edward (and Andrea)
Edward sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.
Andrea: THERE you are! I’ve been looking for you forever!
Edward: Who are you?
Andrea: (stares, open-mouthed) You … don’t remember me? I’m the one you were making out with on New Year’s. It was so … I can’t believe you don’t remember me! Look! (pulls down scarf to reveal her neck) You gave me this.
Edward: That certainly looks like mine.
Andrea: Who the fuck else’s would it be?
Edward: I am the only vampire around … Unless it was Lily.
Andrea: Lily? As in, like, a girl? EWWW! It was YOU! We made out! And you don’t remember!
Edward: Oh wait. I remember you now.
Andrea: (smiles) Well of course you do! Nobody forgets me. Especially guys I make out with. So, d’you want to, like, get together? It is Valentine’s Day after all.
Edward: I am kinda hungry. Wanna go for a bite?
Andrea: (giggles) Sure. I could go for some Italian.
Edward: (shakes his head vigorously) Too much garlic.
Andrea: What do you feel like?
Edward: Something bloody.
Andrea: Steak it is!
Next stop: Thursday, February 15th, 6:00pm
Tuesday, February 13th, 5:00pm
Brandon and Jordan
Brandon: So tomorrow’s the big day?
Jordan: Yeah. What are you planning to do for Valentine’s?
Brandon: I’m going to have a seizure.
Jordan: (stares) A … what?
Brandon: A seizure. There’s this really hot nurse at the hospital.
Jordan: You’re mocking me for breaking my ankle to get Marissa’s attention, aren’t you.
Brandon: Who me? Nah.
Jordan: Ass.
Next stop: Wednesday, February 14th, 8:00pm
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