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155. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Friday, February 2nd, 9:00pm
Drommen (and Gordon)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Gordon takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Nice dress.

Gordon nods.

Drommen: Going out somewhere fancy?

Gordon smiles and nods.

Drommen: Do you mind if I masturbate?

Gordon: You know I’m a guy, right?

Drommen: Sssure …? Sure I did. Do. I mean.

Gordon: So you don’t care if I’m a guy?

Drommen: Not really. But if it bothers you, just say so.

Gordon: I think it should bother you that you’re even asking.

Drommen: It should bother me? What’s your deal? Does it bother you that you’re wearing a dress?

Gordon: Do I look bothered?

Drommen: Do I?

Gordon: (stares for a moment) This conversation is going nowhere.

Drommen: I agree. (turns to the window)

Gordon: (a moment later) So. Would you like to go to a costume party?

Drommen: What would I go as?

Gordon: A flasher? You’ve got the trench coat.

Drommen: (smiles) Works for me.

 

Next stop: Saturday, February 3rd, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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154. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, February 1st, 6:00pm
Brandy and Stewart (and Victoria)

 

Stewart: (crying) I WANT IT! I WANT THE SWITCH GAME!

Brandy: I told you, you have to wait for your birthday.

Stewart: (crying) BUT I WANT IT NOW!!!

Victoria: (sitting across the aisle) Can’t you shut that kid up?

Brandy: NO! I CAN’T! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM ANYWAY?

Victoria: MY HUSBAND JUST DIED OF CANCER!

Brandy: YEAH, WELL MINE WAS SHOT IN THE LINE OF DUTY LAST MONTH!!

Victoria: (stares quietly for a moment) Can I buy you a coffee?

 

Next stop: Friday, February 2nd, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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153. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, January 31st, 5:00pm
Phil (and Fiona)

 

Phil sits at the window. Fiona takes the seat beside him.

Fiona: Man is it a chilly one out there.

Phil: (glances at her briefly) It is.

Fiona: You could catch the flu on this bus faster ‘n you can say Jack Frost.

Phil: That’s true.

Fiona: Better ‘n drivin’ a car though.

Phil: (turns to her) Why do you say that?

Fiona: I had a car once. Had a bad accident ‘n tore up my leg somethin’ fierce. Even my hip ain’t never bin the same since.

Phil: Hmph.

Fiona: Can barely walk now.

Phil: Huh.

Fiona: Yep, we’re lucky we don’t drive no cars.

Phil: The flu can be pretty bad too.

Fiona: (thinks for a moment) At least you’s got ’bout a week to say goodbye to y’ur loved ones though. Car accident (snaps fingers) jes like that. Over. Done for.

Phil: (smiles ruefully) Thank you for that.

 

Next stop: Thursday, February 1st, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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152. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, January 30th, 5:00pm
Miles (and Phil)

 

Miles sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside him.

Miles: (turning to Phil and smiling) Excuse me, do you have any toilet paper?

Phil moves to another seat.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, January 31st, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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151. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, January 29th, 5:00pm
Phil (and Sherman)

 

Phil sits at the window. Sherman takes the seat beside him.

Phil: (smiling) Hey there!

Sherman: Hi.

Phil: I didn’t know you took the bus.

Sherman: I take the bus every day. It’s environmentally friendly.

Phil: Ha! You’re such a kidder. So I’m finally getting my new car this week.

Sherman: Why do you need a car? You have the bus.

Phil: Ugh, you have to be joking. I can’t stand the bus.

Sherman: And I can’t stand people who drive cars when they can take the bus instead. The bus is already running.

Phil: Wait. You’re not Mike from accounting, are you.

Sherman: I certainly am not!

Phil turns to the window, ignoring Sherman’s ongoing lecture.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, January 30th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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150. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, January 28th, 10:00am
Terry and Shannon

 

Terry: I think I might be depressed.

Shannon: What makes you think that?

Terry: I dunno. I don’t want to do anything anymore.

Shannon: You’re just upset because you lost the Internet at home.

Terry: And with it all my friends.

Shannon: You’ve still got me.

Terry: Yeah, but you’re real.

Shannon: Wh … what does that mean?

Terry: You know. I can only talk to you when you’re not busy. Or sleeping. I can talk to people on the Internet 24/7.

Shannon: They’re real people too …

Terry: (frowns) They can’t be. They never sleep.

Shannon: Of course they sleep. They’re just in different time zones.

Terry: Are you sure?

Shannon: Of course I am. Just look it up on the Intern … (slaps her hand over her mouth)

Terry: (stares for a moment and then turns away, mumbling) I’m so depressed.

 

Next stop: Monday, January 29th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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149. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, January 27th, 9:00pm
Kyra (and Edward)

 

Kyra sits by the window, hugging herself. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Edward: You look cold.

Kyra: It’s frickin’ cold out there.

Edward: (shrugs) Depends.

Kyra: (snorts) On what?

Edward: I’m a vampire. (smiles, showing his fake fangs) We undead don’t get cold.

Kyra: You’re kidding, right?

Edward: No.

Kyra: (closing her eyes and mumbling) Go away. Go away. Go away.

Edward: I can understand why you want me to go away. I’m a predator. You’re, potentially, my prey. But I’ll tell you now, I’m not interested.

Kyra: (opens her eyes) Why not? What’s wrong with me?

Edward: You’re not my Bella.

Kyra: You’re on drugs, aren’t you.

Edward: (smiling) Love is my only drug.

Kyra: (rocking, hugging herself) One of us needs to get off the cheap drugs, and it’d better not be me.

 

Next stop: Sunday, January 28th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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148. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, January 26th, 4:00pm
Michael (and Ernest)

 

Michael sits at the window, reading an e-book on his tablet. Ernest takes the seat beside him.

Ernest: Excuse me.

Michael: (without looking up) Yep.

Ernest: I’m from Windows, and I have reason to believe you have a virus on your computer.

Michael: (without looking up) I don’t have a virus.

Ernest: Would you mind turning your computer on?

Michael: (lifts the tablet an inch off his lap) It is on.

Ernest: Now go to the start menu …

Michael: (looks at him) I. Don’t. Have. A. Virus. Can I see your credentials?

Ernest: Er … I left them at the office.

Michael: And where would the office be?

Ernest makes a run for the door.

 

Next stop: Saturday, January 27th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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147. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, January 25th, 5:00pm
Phil (and Zoey)

 

Phil sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Phil: Cold out.

Zoey: It’s warm in the bus.

Phil: I don’t like the bus.

Zoey: Why are you on it?

Phil: I’m waiting for my new car to be ready. My old one died.

Zoey: Yeah? What’d it die of?

Phil: Old age.

Zoey: Huh.

Phil: Do you work downtown?

Zoey: Nah. I go to school.

Phil: Oh really? What are you taking?

Zoey: Sociology.

Phil: Really.

Zoey: Yeah. I’m doing a thesis on how people talk to each other when they’re on public transportation.

Phil: Oh. Well I’m probably the last person you want to talk to then.

Zoey: Why’s that?

Phil: Because I don’t like to talk to people on the bus. I wish I wasn’t even on the bus.

Zoey takes notes.

 

Next stop: Friday, January 26th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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146. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, January 24th, 5:00pm
Drommen (and Phil)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside him.

Phil: (muttering) Just a week. It’s just a week.

Drommen: Did you say something?

Phil: Oh, no. I mean, yeah. I get my new car in a week.

Drommen: That’s nice.

Phil: Yeah, I hate taking the bus.

Drommen: Ah.

Phil: Don’t you hate the bus?

Drommen: Heh. No. I come on the bus as often as I can.

Phil: Really?

Drommen: Sometimes even when I’m not going anywhere.

Phil: Are you nuts?

Drommen: Some might think I’m all nuts.

Phil raises his eyebrows.

Drommen: If you don’t like it, why don’t you get off?

Phil: Why are YOU such a jerk?

Drommen: It’s what I do.

 

Next stop: Thursday, January 25th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.