Life in progress


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16. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, September 16th, 4:00pm
The Darkness (the bus driver, everyone else on the bus)

 

The Darkness: (shouting) I AM THE DARKNESS!! I AM THE DARKNESS!!

The Darkness: (stands) I AM THE DARKNESS!!

The bus driver stops the bus and walks back to The Darkness.

The bus driver: I’m sorry, sir, but you’re going to have to get off the bus.

The Darkness: (one octave higher, as though explaining) I AM THE DARKNESS!

The bus driver: I get that, sir, but you’re going to have to leave now.

The Darkness: (walks toward the door, mumbling) I am The Darkness.

Everyone else on the bus applauds.

 

Next stop: Sunday, September 17th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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15. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult themes.

Friday, September 15th, 10:00pm
Joel and Holly

 

Holly: (whining) Buses make me sick.

Joel: (sighs) Hold on babe, it won’t be much longer.

Holly: So, do you think I should tell Bill tonight, about the baby?

Joel: About that. You said he’s going to be mad, right?

Holly: (nods) He might be okay if he thinks it’s his, but when he finds out it’s yours …

Joel: Yeah, I get the picture. So the way I see it is this. We can either take off together, maybe go across the country where he won’t find us or …

Holly: … or what.

Joel: (takes a deep breath) I know a guy who knows a guy who can take him out.

Holly: What do you mean, ‘take him out’?

Joel: What do you think I mean?

Holly: You mean kill him!?

Joel: SHHHH!!!! (whispers) Yes. What do you suggest? Just let him kill me? And you? And the baby maybe?

Holly: (retches) Oh God, get me off the bus now!!

 

Next stop: Saturday, September 16th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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14. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language, adult themes.

Thursday, September 14th, 3:00pm
Madigan and Ken

 

Madigan: Do you really think we should be seen in public like this?

Ken: Why not? I’m your brother-in-law. We met on the street outside your work and now we’re going…

Madigan: Right. Where do we say we’re going again?

Ken: For a coffee.

Madigan: On a bus? Everyone knows there’s a Tim Horton’s within walking distance of anywhere downtown.

Ken: Don’t worry about it. We’re not going to be seen by anyone who knows us anyway.

Madigan sighs and looks out the window.

Ken: Do you want to go back?

Madigan: No.

Ken: You said yourself it’s not safe to get together at your place anymore. So what choice do we have?

Madigan: (mumbles) We could stop seeing each other.

Ken: (puts his hand on her knee) Did you say you want to stop seeing each other?

Madigan: I just don’t want to get caught. Barb is my sister … my only sister. And what am I teaching Missy?

Ken: You’re teaching her to follow her heart.

Madigan: How? When I’m not following mine? All I’m doing is following your cock.

Ken: Fine, let’s get off the bus then.

Madigan: No.

Ken: (frowns) Maddie, you’ve got to decide what the fuck you want, coz I’m getting confused.

Madigan: (glares at him) Why don’t you decide what the fuck YOU want? Do you want me or my sister?

Ken: You know I want you.

Madigan: When are you going to leave her?

Ken: I can’t, you know that.

Madigan stares out the window.

Ken: What do you want to do? Right now, I mean. Do you want to go to the hotel?

Madigan: (sighs) I guess. I hear self-flagellation is good for the soul.

 

Next stop: Friday, September 15th, 10:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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13. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language, adult themes.

Wednesday, September 13th, 7:00pm
Drommen (and Andrea)

Drommen sits at the window. Andrea sits down beside him.

Drommen: (smiles) Hello.

Andrea: Well hi! See this is, like, what the world needs. More friendly people.

Drommen: Mind if…

Andrea: It’s like I was telling my friend, Lacey? I said if there were more guys in this world who would, like, just be themselves and stop jerking around, don’t you think everyone could be, like, happier?

Drommen: Speaking of jerking around….

Andrea: I know, right? It’s like this guy I met online the other day. He’s, like, all nice and everything and we’re talking away and he seems like this really nice guy, you know? And the next thing I know he’s asking me if I want to get on the webcam, right?

Drommen: (slips his hand in his coat below the waist and nods) Ok.

Andrea: So I turn on my cam and he turns on his and he’s EXACTLY like he described himself! Which is great! Coz, you know how people are these days always misrepresenting themselves and shit, right?

Drommen smiles and nods, his hand moving slowly up and down.

Andrea: So we’re talking and he’s smiling and everything’s, like, going great and then this GUY, asks me if I want to see his THING! Can you believe it?

Drommen nods, leering.

Andrea: So I’m, like, dude! That is so cool! NOT! I mean, why would I want to see THAT? That’s fucking so disGUSTING! So then he’s, like, all apologetic and shit and I’m, like, dude, whatEV! (looks at Drommen for the first time) So what’s your deal?

Drommen: Oh, just enjoying the ride. Hey, would you mind if I get off?

Andrea: Of course not.

Andrea gets out of her seat, but Drommen doesn’t move.

Drommen: (stares up at her for a moment, then removes his hand from his coat) Never mind.

Next stop: Thursday, September 14th, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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12. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language, adult themes.

Tuesday, September 12th, 5:00pm
Sandi (and Candice)

 

Sandi sits at the window seat daydreaming about Jeff.

Candice: I didn’t think you were going to work today.

Sandi: (jumps hearing Candice’s voice, then pats the seat beside her) I wasn’t going to but Lana called in sick and The Grump is coming in today.

Candice: Fuck, no.

Sandi: Yeah.

Candice: I wish I could take him off your hands.

Sandi: Eeh, he’s not that bad. Sure, he’s loud and whiny, but he’s pretty easy to please.

Candice: I’ve got Mr. Avon today.

Sandi: Shit. So you’ll be up to your elbows in makeup before you even start. And isn’t he the one who wants you to wear nothing but rubber?

Candice: (nods and whispers) That rubber bra chafes something awful.

Sandi: You should tell him no.

Candice: Tried that once. He refused to pay.

Sandi: Ooh, was Madame very upset?

Candice: I couldn’t sit down for a week. So, how was your weekend with the preacher?

Sandi: (sighs and rests her head on the glass) Heaven.

Candice: The Grump is in for a treat then.

Sandi: (nods and smiles) I’m going to correct the fuck out of him.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, September 13th,  7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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11. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme.

Monday, September 11th, 8:00am
Donald and Robert

 

Donald: So, we don’t say anything about this to anyone at work, right?

Robert: But you just said I gave you the best …

Donald: (whispers) Quiet!!

Robert smiles self-satisfactorily.

Donald: (stage-whispers) You know I was drunk. And you know I’m not …

Robert: You’re not what?

Donald: (stage whispers) That way!

Robert: You mean gay?

Donald: SHHHH!! (rolls eyes to the ceiling) What the hell have I gotten myself into?

Robert: (grinning) My mouth for one thing.

Donald glares at him.

Robert: Okay, okay. I’ll be discreet. As long as you promise me one thing.

Donald: What’s that?

Robert: That you’ll let me buy you lunch today.

Donald: That’s it?

Robert: You want more?

Donald looks back up to the ceiling and Robert smiles to himself.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, September 12th, 5:00pm

 

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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10. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, September 10th, 9:00am
Madigan and Missy

 

Madigan: Sit still.

Missy: (speaks around thumb) I don’t wanna go to church.

Madigan: We have to. It’s a family obligation.

Missy: What’s a obagation?

Madigan: ObLIgation. It’s when Mommy should have shown up for your Auntie Barb’s Labour Day barbecue and didn’t, and now she feels bad. So we’re going to see her at church.

Missy: (looks out the window for a moment) Is that like when you feel bad for not shaving your legs when Uncle Ken comes for a sleepover?

Madigan: (laughs) Yeah, sort of. But Uncle Ken doesn’t sleep over. Uncle Ken is Auntie Barb’s husband.

Missy: But he goes in your room sometimes after I go to bed at night.

Madigan: (regards Missy for a moment) You know what? Why don’t we skip church and go to McDonald’s for breakfast instead.

Missy: Yay!

 

Next stop: Monday, September 11th, 8:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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9. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, September 9th, 9:00pm
Jeff and Sandi

 

Jeff: Are going to work tomorrow?

Sandi: I don’t know. You?

Jeff: I have to.

Sandi: Jet lag’s a bitch. It was fun though, right?

Jeff: (smiling) I had the best time ever.

They kiss.

Sandi: So, do we have to go back to pretending?

Jeff: We don’t have a choice.

Sandi: (nods) It sucks.

Jeff: Believe me, I’d love to yell, ‘I love this woman!’ from the rooftops.

Sandi squeezes his hand.

Sandi: I’m thinking about quitting.

Jeff: No! You can’t quit. If anyone should, it’s me.

Sandi: (laughing) Riiight. You can’t quit and you know it.

Jeff: Yeah. Would you do that for me? I mean, I’m not asking you to do it, but would you?

Sandi: (looks into his eyes) I’d do anything for you. You know that.

They kiss for a while.

Jeff: My stop’s coming up.

Sandi: Want me to get off with you?

Jeff: Better not. We both need a good night’s sleep.

Sandi: (sighs) Yeah, I guess you’re right. Call me in the morning.

Jeff: (kisses her) Sure thing. Good night, Miss Fantasia.

Sandi: Good night Reverend Fisher.

 

Next stop: Sunday, September 10th, 9:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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8. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, September 8th, 11:00pm
Drommen (and Hillary)

Drommen sits alone near the window. Hillary sits across the aisle.

Drommen: Hi

Hillary: Hi

Drommen: It’s late for a young lady to be out alone.

Hillary: I’m not alone. I’m meeting a friend.

Drommen: What’s your friend’s name?

Hillary: Sean. He should be at the next stop.

A few moments later, the bus stops and middle-aged woman gets on.

Drommen: I guess you’re alone.

Hillary: Guess so.

Drommen: Would you like to sit beside me?

Hillary: Sure. (gets up and crosses the aisle) I’m Jessica.

Drommen: I’m Jake. Nice to meet you.

Drommen holds out his hand and Hillary shakes it.

Hillary: Your hand is sticky.

Drommen: Thank you for noticing.

 

Next stop: Saturday, September 9th, 9:00pm

 

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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7. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, September 7th, 5:00pm
Joel and Pete

 

Joel: So you know that Holly chick I’ve been talking about?

Pete: Oh, the married one?

Joel: Yeah.

Pete: You been seeing her a while. Couple of months – that’s gotta be a record for you.

Joel: Yeah, well she’s knocked up.

Pete: No shit! Is it yours?

Joel: I wish I knew for sure. Either way, I’m gone.

Pete frowns.

Joel: What? Her husband’s going to kill me if he figures it’s me, which he will if it’s mine because they’re both white and well, fuck, she’s just not fucking worth it. She’s going to be raising it alone one way or the other so what would you do?

Pete: I might know a guy.

 

Next stop: Friday September 8th, 11:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.