Life in progress

Yearly Archives: 2017


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16. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, September 16th, 4:00pm
The Darkness (the bus driver, everyone else on the bus)

 

The Darkness: (shouting) I AM THE DARKNESS!! I AM THE DARKNESS!!

The Darkness: (stands) I AM THE DARKNESS!!

The bus driver stops the bus and walks back to The Darkness.

The bus driver: I’m sorry, sir, but you’re going to have to get off the bus.

The Darkness: (one octave higher, as though explaining) I AM THE DARKNESS!

The bus driver: I get that, sir, but you’re going to have to leave now.

The Darkness: (walks toward the door, mumbling) I am The Darkness.

Everyone else on the bus applauds.

 

Next stop: Sunday, September 17th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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15. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult themes.

Friday, September 15th, 10:00pm
Joel and Holly

 

Holly: (whining) Buses make me sick.

Joel: (sighs) Hold on babe, it won’t be much longer.

Holly: So, do you think I should tell Bill tonight, about the baby?

Joel: About that. You said he’s going to be mad, right?

Holly: (nods) He might be okay if he thinks it’s his, but when he finds out it’s yours …

Joel: Yeah, I get the picture. So the way I see it is this. We can either take off together, maybe go across the country where he won’t find us or …

Holly: … or what.

Joel: (takes a deep breath) I know a guy who knows a guy who can take him out.

Holly: What do you mean, ‘take him out’?

Joel: What do you think I mean?

Holly: You mean kill him!?

Joel: SHHHH!!!! (whispers) Yes. What do you suggest? Just let him kill me? And you? And the baby maybe?

Holly: (retches) Oh God, get me off the bus now!!

 

Next stop: Saturday, September 16th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS Sept. 16/17

It’s Friday again and time for your Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. I just got back from Ottawa a couple of hours ago after an unexpected extra night’s stay. The doctor wanted to observe Alex for the night. But good news: all is well. Here’s your SoCS prompt for this week:

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “vol.” Find a word with “vol” in it, and use it in your post. Have fun!

After you’ve written your Saturday post tomorrow, please link it here at this week’s prompt page and check to make sure it’s here in the comments so others can find it and see your awesome Stream of Consciousness post. Anyone can join in!

To make your post more visible, use our SoCS badge! Just paste it in your Saturday post so people browsing the reader will immediately know your post is stream of consciousness and/or pin it as a widget to your site to show you’re a participant. Wear it with pride!!

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!


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14. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language, adult themes.

Thursday, September 14th, 3:00pm
Madigan and Ken

 

Madigan: Do you really think we should be seen in public like this?

Ken: Why not? I’m your brother-in-law. We met on the street outside your work and now we’re going…

Madigan: Right. Where do we say we’re going again?

Ken: For a coffee.

Madigan: On a bus? Everyone knows there’s a Tim Horton’s within walking distance of anywhere downtown.

Ken: Don’t worry about it. We’re not going to be seen by anyone who knows us anyway.

Madigan sighs and looks out the window.

Ken: Do you want to go back?

Madigan: No.

Ken: You said yourself it’s not safe to get together at your place anymore. So what choice do we have?

Madigan: (mumbles) We could stop seeing each other.

Ken: (puts his hand on her knee) Did you say you want to stop seeing each other?

Madigan: I just don’t want to get caught. Barb is my sister … my only sister. And what am I teaching Missy?

Ken: You’re teaching her to follow her heart.

Madigan: How? When I’m not following mine? All I’m doing is following your cock.

Ken: Fine, let’s get off the bus then.

Madigan: No.

Ken: (frowns) Maddie, you’ve got to decide what the fuck you want, coz I’m getting confused.

Madigan: (glares at him) Why don’t you decide what the fuck YOU want? Do you want me or my sister?

Ken: You know I want you.

Madigan: When are you going to leave her?

Ken: I can’t, you know that.

Madigan stares out the window.

Ken: What do you want to do? Right now, I mean. Do you want to go to the hotel?

Madigan: (sighs) I guess. I hear self-flagellation is good for the soul.

 

Next stop: Friday, September 15th, 10:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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13. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language, adult themes.

Wednesday, September 13th, 7:00pm
Drommen (and Andrea)

Drommen sits at the window. Andrea sits down beside him.

Drommen: (smiles) Hello.

Andrea: Well hi! See this is, like, what the world needs. More friendly people.

Drommen: Mind if…

Andrea: It’s like I was telling my friend, Lacey? I said if there were more guys in this world who would, like, just be themselves and stop jerking around, don’t you think everyone could be, like, happier?

Drommen: Speaking of jerking around….

Andrea: I know, right? It’s like this guy I met online the other day. He’s, like, all nice and everything and we’re talking away and he seems like this really nice guy, you know? And the next thing I know he’s asking me if I want to get on the webcam, right?

Drommen: (slips his hand in his coat below the waist and nods) Ok.

Andrea: So I turn on my cam and he turns on his and he’s EXACTLY like he described himself! Which is great! Coz, you know how people are these days always misrepresenting themselves and shit, right?

Drommen smiles and nods, his hand moving slowly up and down.

Andrea: So we’re talking and he’s smiling and everything’s, like, going great and then this GUY, asks me if I want to see his THING! Can you believe it?

Drommen nods, leering.

Andrea: So I’m, like, dude! That is so cool! NOT! I mean, why would I want to see THAT? That’s fucking so disGUSTING! So then he’s, like, all apologetic and shit and I’m, like, dude, whatEV! (looks at Drommen for the first time) So what’s your deal?

Drommen: Oh, just enjoying the ride. Hey, would you mind if I get off?

Andrea: Of course not.

Andrea gets out of her seat, but Drommen doesn’t move.

Drommen: (stares up at her for a moment, then removes his hand from his coat) Never mind.

Next stop: Thursday, September 14th, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Cheating?

Not sure whether or not this is technically cheating (since I make up the rules), but I’m using this week’s one-liner Wednesday to let you know I’m going away for a couple of days – Alex has dental surgery on Thursday morning.

Here’s a pretty picture to make up for my sucky one-liner.

See you Friday! Wish us luck!

____________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion


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12. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language, adult themes.

Tuesday, September 12th, 5:00pm
Sandi (and Candice)

 

Sandi sits at the window seat daydreaming about Jeff.

Candice: I didn’t think you were going to work today.

Sandi: (jumps hearing Candice’s voice, then pats the seat beside her) I wasn’t going to but Lana called in sick and The Grump is coming in today.

Candice: Fuck, no.

Sandi: Yeah.

Candice: I wish I could take him off your hands.

Sandi: Eeh, he’s not that bad. Sure, he’s loud and whiny, but he’s pretty easy to please.

Candice: I’ve got Mr. Avon today.

Sandi: Shit. So you’ll be up to your elbows in makeup before you even start. And isn’t he the one who wants you to wear nothing but rubber?

Candice: (nods and whispers) That rubber bra chafes something awful.

Sandi: You should tell him no.

Candice: Tried that once. He refused to pay.

Sandi: Ooh, was Madame very upset?

Candice: I couldn’t sit down for a week. So, how was your weekend with the preacher?

Sandi: (sighs and rests her head on the glass) Heaven.

Candice: The Grump is in for a treat then.

Sandi: (nods and smiles) I’m going to correct the fuck out of him.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, September 13th,  7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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11. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme.

Monday, September 11th, 8:00am
Donald and Robert

 

Donald: So, we don’t say anything about this to anyone at work, right?

Robert: But you just said I gave you the best …

Donald: (whispers) Quiet!!

Robert smiles self-satisfactorily.

Donald: (stage-whispers) You know I was drunk. And you know I’m not …

Robert: You’re not what?

Donald: (stage whispers) That way!

Robert: You mean gay?

Donald: SHHHH!! (rolls eyes to the ceiling) What the hell have I gotten myself into?

Robert: (grinning) My mouth for one thing.

Donald glares at him.

Robert: Okay, okay. I’ll be discreet. As long as you promise me one thing.

Donald: What’s that?

Robert: That you’ll let me buy you lunch today.

Donald: That’s it?

Robert: You want more?

Donald looks back up to the ceiling and Robert smiles to himself.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, September 12th, 5:00pm

 

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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10. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, September 10th, 9:00am
Madigan and Missy

 

Madigan: Sit still.

Missy: (speaks around thumb) I don’t wanna go to church.

Madigan: We have to. It’s a family obligation.

Missy: What’s a obagation?

Madigan: ObLIgation. It’s when Mommy should have shown up for your Auntie Barb’s Labour Day barbecue and didn’t, and now she feels bad. So we’re going to see her at church.

Missy: (looks out the window for a moment) Is that like when you feel bad for not shaving your legs when Uncle Ken comes for a sleepover?

Madigan: (laughs) Yeah, sort of. But Uncle Ken doesn’t sleep over. Uncle Ken is Auntie Barb’s husband.

Missy: But he goes in your room sometimes after I go to bed at night.

Madigan: (regards Missy for a moment) You know what? Why don’t we skip church and go to McDonald’s for breakfast instead.

Missy: Yay!

 

Next stop: Monday, September 11th, 8:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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#SoCS – Make Me

There are times when motivation to see results is enough to get me to do the things I need to do, like dishes, or cooking for my kids so they don’t starve (okay, most of that is complaining, but whatever), or writing something so other people can read it. But other times, procrastination has a louder voice in my head. Facebook taunts me to see what the next thing on my newsfeed will be, and all the while procrastination is screaming, “Make me! Make me sweep the floor!” like an errant toddler.

Because really, procrastination is like a stubborn child. Think about it. It does what IT wants to do, not what’s gotta be done. It only cares about itself. It’s greedy and doesn’t like to share us with its grown-up counterpart, Responsibility.

It’s no wonder we need nice, shiny things to keep us motivated a lot of the time. In our everyday lives, when all is well and we’re stuck in our daily routines, something shiny is what we look forward to. To reach for. It’s no wonder I get more writing done during NaNoWriMo, what with that lovely graph to reach the top of. Something you might be able to relate to as a blogger, if you’re not an author, is the stats page. Who doesn’t want to get to the next level? Get more views than the year before? (Yes, I know some of you don’t pay attention to stats. Weirdos.) Goals. We all need goals. Otherwise, life is static.

So I’m off to do something I’m supposed to do. And not feed the screaming toddler. (Procrastination–I don’t mean my kids.)

Stream of Consciousness Saturday is brought to you by the letters “S,” “O,” and “C,” and by the Procrastination Television Network. Come and play! Everything’s A-OK! 😉 https://lindaghill.com/2017/09/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-917/ Click the link and join in!