Life in progress

Tag Archives: Edward


by Leave a comment

215. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, April 3rd, 8:00am
Michael (and Joanna)

 

Michael sits at the window reading the newspaper. Joanna takes the seat beside him.

Michael: This is incredible.

Joanna: What is?

Michael: This. (shows her a picture in the newspaper) Did you hear about it?

Joanna: (grimaces) What the hell is that even a picture of?

Michael: (points) It’s a guy.

Joanna: In a tree? What, is he stuck?

Michael: Yeah. He was found hanging from a limb, and … Here, I’ll just read it: “On Sunday morning, an east-end resident called police when she heard loud shrieking noises coming from her back yard shortly after she let her dog out. Before the police arrived, she snapped a picture of a man hanging from her century old oak, pinned there by his collar by a short wooden stake. It wasn’t until police arrived, however, that she found the man’s biggest complaint wasn’t the hanging, but the fact that he had lost his plastic vampire fangs. The dog was later discovered wearing an extra-toothy grin.”

Joanna: (shakes head) Takes all kinds I guess.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, April 4th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by Leave a comment

212. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, March 31, 8:00pm
Edward (and Andrea)

 

Edward sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Andrea: Hi, honey.

Edward: No …

Andrea: Do you like it?

Edward: Noooo …

Andrea: But … Lacey promised me you’d like it anyway. We tried, but …

Edward: It’s pink. Your hair is pink.

Andrea: Well I like it. Even though it was an accident. Should I try again? ‘Coz I can, like, try again next week.

Edward: (covers his face with his hands and laments) It’s too late. It’s too late!!

Andrea: Does … that mean we’re not, like, going to the party anymore?

Edward: You idiot! Of course we’re not going to a party. We were never going to a party!

Andrea: (reaches into her bag and pulls out a wooden stake) Damned right, sucka!!

Edward leaps over her and runs for the door. Andrea chases him off the bus.

 

Next stop: Sunday, April 1st, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by Leave a comment

211. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, March 30th, 8:00pm
Edward and Vlad

 

Vlad: So you say you vill have the girl.

Edward: I vill!  … I mean, I will. Tomorrow night.

Vlad: And you are sure it is the girl vith the golden hair.

Edward: It is, Master.

Vlad: This is your last chance, Edvard. If you do not satisfy my request this time, I vill have to find another vampire to fill your place. I expect you to have no excuses.

Edward: (swallows) Yes, Master.

Vlad: (rubs hands together) And nothing this time vill keep me apart from the girl vith the golden hair.

Edward: Of course not. (stares out the window) What could possibly go wrong?

 

Next stop: Saturday, March 31st, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 1 Comment

210. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, March 29th, 7:00pm
Edward (and Andrea)

 

Edward sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Andrea: Eddie!

Edward: Please don’t call me that. Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for you for two days.

Andrea: (flutters eyelashes) You have?!

Edward: Yes. Didn’t your friend tell you?

Andrea: No. In fact she’s been giving me taxi money.

Edward: Drat.

Andrea: But I’m here now! I got this, like, great new job, and …

Edward: You’re not blond. I need you blond.

Andrea: Wh … what for?

Edward: A party. (nods with satisfaction) I want to take you to a party.

Andrea: What kind of party?

Edward: A … blond party.

Andrea: (smiles) Sounds like fun! When is it?

Edward: I’ll have to check. How soon can you be blond?

Andrea: I can do it on, like, Saturday morning.

Edward: Excellent. I’ll see you Saturday.

Edward stares at her.

Edward: Can you let me out please?

Andrea: Wh … That’s it?

Edward: What else is there?

Andrea: I don’t know. Like, a kiss goodbye would be nice.

Edward: Don’t make me jump out the window again.

Andrea: (gets up slowly) Okay then. (calls to him as he gets off the bus) See you soon, Eddie … Edward!

 

Next stop: Friday, March 30th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 7 Comments

205. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, March 24th, 8:00pm
Lacey (and Edward)

 

Lacey sits at the window. Edward pops up in the seat behind her.

Edward: (into her ear) Hello.

Lacey: (jumps) Ugh! You again? Why do you do that?

Edward: (smiles, showing fake fangs) Because I can. What’s your friend’s name again?

Lacey: Andrea?

Edward: Yes. That one. Is she still in love with me?

Lacey: (rolls her eyes) Yes. But I have no idea why. She really needs to …

Edward: Would she dye her hair for me?

Lacey: (without interruption) … stay away from y … What did you say?

Edward: Do you think she’d dye her hair blond?

Lacey: What the hell for?

Edward: (looks up at the ceiling) Oh, no reason.

Lacey: (narrows her eyes) You want her to look like that Bella chick you’ve been trying to get, don’t you.

Edward: No.

Lacey: Then why?

Edward: I just happen to like … I mean, I prefer … No reason. Can you ask her to dye her hair and meet me on the bus Tuesday night?

Lacey: No.

Edward: When will she be back on the bus?

Lacey: Not telling.

Edward: (after a moment of silence) Do you want to be blond?

Lacey: No!

Edward: (under his breath) Damn.

 

Next stop: Sunday, March 25th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by Leave a comment

204. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, March 23rd, 9:00pm
Vlad and Edward

 

Vlad: You disappoint me, Edvard.

Edward: I’m sorry.

Vlad: “I’m sorry,” vhat?

Edward: (lowers head) I’m sorry, Master.

Vlad: Hmph.

Edward: I’ll try harder.

Vlad: You say that, but I gave you this assignment seven months ago! Get the girl. Bring her over to the dark side. And have you done it yet?

Edward: No, Master.

Vlad: No. Exactly. (turns and looks out the window)

Edward: What about the other one I brought you?

Vlad: (stares at him) Lily?

Edward: Yes. Lily.

Vlad: She is simply a crackpot. I vant the girl vith the golden hair!

Edward: But…

Vlad: No buts, Edvard.

Edward: So now what?

Vlad: Now I am letting you go.

Edward: (eyes widen) Letting me go?

Vlad: Yes. I vill look for another apprentice.

Edward: But … I’ll get her! I promise!

Vlad: (puts hand up) Don’t talk to me until you have the girl!

 

Next stop: Saturday, March 24th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by Leave a comment

170. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, February 17th, 8:00pm
Edward and Lily

 

Edward: … so she threatened me with a stake.

Lily: No way!

Edward: Yes way!

Lily: I think we should get her before she gets us. She’s clearly dangerous.

Edward: What do you mean, “get her”?

Lily: You know, get her. Take her down. Down to the ground. Down INTO the ground, if you know what I mean.

Edward: No.

Lily: What do you mean, “no”?

Edward: You’ve got to stay away from her.

Lily: If you think I’m just going to sit by and wait for her to come along with a wooden stake, and…

Edward: I’ll take care of her. I’ll drain her and make her one of us. That’s what I’ll do.

Lily: But … I don’t want there to be another girl vampire. You’ve got me.

Edward: So?

Lily: So, you’ve got me!

Edward: You’re being irrational.

Lily: I’m being irrational? Edward, this girl might have friends. Next thing you know, they’ll be coming after us with torches and pitchforks!

Edward: You’re just jealous.

Lily: I’m … what? Me? Jealous? No way.

Edward: Yes way.

Lily:  (turns away, mumbling) You’re insane.

 

Next stop: Sunday, February 18th, 11:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 1 Comment

167. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Wednesday, February 14th, 8:00pm
Edward (and Andrea)

 

Edward sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Andrea: THERE you are! I’ve been looking for you forever!

Edward: Who are you?

Andrea: (stares, open-mouthed) You … don’t remember me? I’m the one you were making out with on New Year’s. It was so … I can’t believe you don’t remember me! Look! (pulls down scarf to reveal her neck) You gave me this.

Edward: That certainly looks like mine.

Andrea: Who the fuck else’s would it be?

Edward: I am the only vampire around … Unless it was Lily.

Andrea: Lily? As in, like, a girl? EWWW! It was YOU! We made out! And you don’t remember!

Edward: Oh wait. I remember you now.

Andrea: (smiles) Well of course you do! Nobody forgets me. Especially guys I make out with. So, d’you want to, like, get together? It is Valentine’s Day after all.

Edward: I am kinda hungry. Wanna go for a bite?

Andrea: (giggles) Sure. I could go for some Italian.

Edward: (shakes his head vigorously) Too much garlic.

Andrea: What do you feel like?

Edward: Something bloody.

Andrea: Steak it is!

 

Next stop: Thursday, February 15th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 6 Comments

161. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, February 8th, 7:00pm
Bella and Edgar (and Edward)

 

Edgar: It’s going to be great meeting your parents. Do you really think they’ll like me?

Bella: What’s not to like? You were the captain of the football team, which my dad is going to love.

Edgar: That was a couple of years ago though.

Bella: And now you’re an electrical engineer. (takes his arm and hugs it) Brains and strength.

Edgar: And your mom?

Bella: You know how to cook. She’ll be very impressed. (kisses him on the cheek)

Edgar: Thanks. I feel bett …

Edward: (popping up in the seat behind) Who’s this, Bella?

Bella: (rolling her eyes) He’s my boyfriend. What’s it to you?

Edward: He’s not meant for you. I am.

Bella: You’re crazy.

Edward: Crazy in love with you.

Edgar: (turns) Step aside, man.

Edward: I will not! Bella is the love of my life! My soulmate! There can only be one for h …

Edgar: (punches him in the nose) I said, step aside. The lady wants nothing to do with you.

Edward: (holding his nose and heading for the door) I’ll get you for this! You have no idea what it’s like to feel the wrath of a vampire! (gets off the bus)

Edgar: Do you think your friend Drommen will be happy with that little performance?

Bella: (smiling) Very. You really should come and meet my parents. For real.

Edgar: Don’t you think we should go out together first?

Bella: Is that an invitation?

Edgar: (smiles) Valentine’s is soon …

Bella: (smiles widely) Sounds like a date.

 

Next stop: Friday, February 9th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 3 Comments

149. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, January 27th, 9:00pm
Kyra (and Edward)

 

Kyra sits by the window, hugging herself. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Edward: You look cold.

Kyra: It’s frickin’ cold out there.

Edward: (shrugs) Depends.

Kyra: (snorts) On what?

Edward: I’m a vampire. (smiles, showing his fake fangs) We undead don’t get cold.

Kyra: You’re kidding, right?

Edward: No.

Kyra: (closing her eyes and mumbling) Go away. Go away. Go away.

Edward: I can understand why you want me to go away. I’m a predator. You’re, potentially, my prey. But I’ll tell you now, I’m not interested.

Kyra: (opens her eyes) Why not? What’s wrong with me?

Edward: You’re not my Bella.

Kyra: You’re on drugs, aren’t you.

Edward: (smiling) Love is my only drug.

Kyra: (rocking, hugging herself) One of us needs to get off the cheap drugs, and it’d better not be me.

 

Next stop: Sunday, January 28th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.