Life in progress

Tag Archives: Funny


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336. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, August 2nd, 5:00pm
Drew (and Cletis)

 

Drew sits at the window. Cletis takes the seat beside him.

Drew: I think I’ve finally figured out why they call them “TV dinners.”

Cletis: Oh yeah?

Drew: Yes. The philosophy of having something so simple as to be able to cook it without any preparation ahead of time, allows one to watch television whilst awaiting a delicious meal with minimal effort.

Cletis: Huh. I thought it was ’cause when you stick ’em in the microwave you can watch them go around and around, just like you was watchin’ TV.

Drew: (thinks for a moment) It could be that too.

 

Next stop: Friday, August 3rd, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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334. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, July 31st, 5:00pm
Zoey (and Frank)

 

Zoey sits at the window. Frank takes the seat beside her.

Frank: Excuse me.

Zoey: Yes?

Frank: Have you ever seen the sea?

Zoey: No indeed. I have not seen the sea.

Frank: Would you care to see the sea with me?

Zoey: No, I would not care to see the sea with thee.

Frank: Why not?

Zoey: It’s too far away.

Frank: Oh.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, August 1st, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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330. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, July 27th, 8:00pm
MoJo and JoJo

 

JoJo: Dude. What do you say to a double date tomorrow night, man?

MoJo: I dunno man. Things are so weird lately! I think it must be the full moon or somethin’.

JoJo: It’s a blood moon.

MoJo: You serious?

JoJo: Yeah. And it’s in Aquarius, too, man.

MoJo: You’re a lunatic, Dude.

JoJo: No really! It’s gonna change lives and everything! (realization dawns) Oh, I see what you did there. (chuckles) Is that something like a FAN-atic?

MoJo: Oh Dude. With all this heat we’re getting, I’m definitely one of those.

JoJo: Me too, Dude. Me too.

 

Next stop: Saturday, July 28th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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325. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, July 22nd, 8:00pm
Edward and Lily

 

Edward: What did you do with the crazy one?

Lily: Her name is Andrea, and I didn’t do anything with her.

Edward: Why not? You were supposed to do away with her for me.

Lily: I was waiting to see what my tasty treat was going to be.

Edward: Weren’t you impressed?

Lily: You brought me a rat.

Edward: It’s a raccoon!

Lily: Okay, a glorified rat. You should just thank your lucky stars I didn’t let your soulmate go.

Edward: You wouldn’t let Bella go! Not after all the trouble I went through to steal her.

Lily: I think she’s making friends with my pet.

Edward: The Darkness?

Lily: (points finger and makes a clicking sound) You got it.

Edward: But he only has four words in his entire vocabulary! “I am The Darkness”!

Lily: I think she’s teaching a few choice new ones.

Edward: This was a bad idea.

Lily: Ya think?

 

Next stop: Monday, July 23rd, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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324. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, July 21st, 9:00pm
Edward and Lily

 

Lily: I thought you were leaving town.

Edward: I just said that so Bella wouldn’t know what hit her.

Lily: You’re going to hit her?

Edward: No, no. It’s a modern figure of speech. I’m going to kidnap her.

Lily: How does it help that she thinks you’re out of town?

Edward: Not her, her friend. If she thinks I’m gone, she won’t know who kidnapped Bella. All I need you to do is take care of the other one. Whatshername. The crazy one.

Lily: You mean the one who’s about as crazy as you are?

Edward: Yeah. That one.

Lily: And where, may I ask, are you planning to steal Bella off to?

Edward: Your place.

Lily: Oh no you’re not!

Edward: You sure? I’ll throw in a tasty treat for you.

Lily: (narrows eyes) How tasty?

Edward: (smiles) That’s for me to know and you to find out.

Lily: (snorts) All I can say is you’d better make this worthwhile.

 

Next stop: Sunday, July 22nd, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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323. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, July 20th, 6:00pm
Pauline (and Jade)

 

Pauline sits at the window. Jade takes the seat beside her.

Jade: Hey you, how are you doing?

Pauline: Great, and you?

Jade: Fantastic. I was just talking to Andre at the mall.

Pauline: Oh yeah? I haven’t seen him in ages.

Jade: He looks great. Oh, and I got this really cute top while I was there … (opens shopping bag and then closes it quickly) Oh shit.

Pauline: What’s wrong?

Jade: I must have switched bags with Andre.

Pauline: Well that’s a drag.

Jade: Not as much for me as him. (opens bag again and shows Pauline)

Pauline: What’s that? Baby clothes?

Jade: Yeah, his wife’s eight months pregnant.

Pauline: So what’s the problem?

Jade: He’s taking tampons, condoms, and a shirt that’s way to small for her home with him.

 

Next stop: Saturday, July 21st, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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322. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, July 19th, 5:00 6:00pm
Zoey (and Whitley)

 

Zoey sits at the window. Whitley takes the seat beside her.

Whitley: Hey, are you a twin?

Zoey: Errr … no. Why?

Whitley: Oh, because I thought I recognized you.

Zoey: Wwwhy would you think you’d seen my twin before but not me?

Whitley: Because she doesn’t look like you.

Zoey: Ooookay.

 

Next stop: Friday, July 20th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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320. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, July 17th, 5:00pm
Kyra (and Bruce)

 

Kyra sits at the window. Bruce takes the seat beside her.

Kyra: That’s a nice plant you’ve got there.

Bruce: (hugs his plant) She’s my friend.

Kyra: Aww, that’s nice. Does she have a name?

Bruce: (smiles) Dinner.

Kyra: You’re going to eat your friend?

Bruce: (looks horrified) NO! That’s her name.

Kyra: That’s a weird name.

Bruce: It’s her karma. Her name was broccoli when I got her.

Kyra: Ahh …

Bruce: That’s nothing. I used to have a friend named Godzilla.

Kyra: A lizard?

Bruce: A grasshopper.

Kyra: Did you have a chihuahua named Werewolf too?

Bruce: (frowns, confused) I don’t get you.

Kyra: Never mind.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, July 18th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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314. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, July 11th, 5:00pm
Devin and Dale

 

Devin: So I was late for work this morning.

Dale: Oh yeah? How come?

Devin: I forgot to turn the dishwasher off before I left the apartment, so I had to turn around and go back.

Dale: Doesn’t your dishwasher turn itself off?

Devin: No. If he runs out of dishes at our place he goes to the neighbour’s.

Dale: Errr …

Devin: My husband’s a little compulsive that way.

Dale: So how do you turn him off?

Devin: Hand him the vacuum. He’ll still be doing it when I get home tonight.

Dale: You must have a very clean apartment.

Devin: (sighs) Yeah. Especially if I don’t watch him on garbage day.

 

Next stop: Thursday, July 12th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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312. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, July 9th, 5:00pm
Waylon and Zoey

 

Waylon sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Waylon: Hey, do you know your way around this town?

Zoey: Pretty much. I’ve lived here most of my life.

Waylon: I need directions. I’ve been every way but upwards, and I can’t seem to find any good restaurants.

Zoey: Oh, you’re going to wrong way. You need to get on the southbound bus.

Waylon: Great. I’ll do that on the morrow. I’ve already got breakfast lined up.

Zoey: So you’ll be looking for lunch then?

Waylon: Yep, and thanks to you, in all the right places.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, July 10th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.