Phil:(approaches Candice, who is sitting at the window) Mind if I sit here?
Candice: Go right ahead.
Phil: I’m sorry, I’m not very good at bus etiquette. I don’t take the bus.
Candice: Oh.
Phil: My car broke down.
Candice: That’s too bad.
Phil: I work in an office downtown, and I usually drive.
Candice: I see.
Phil: My car has been in the shop for a week now.
Candice: You must really miss it.
Phil: I do. They think it’s something to do with the alternator, but I think it’s a computer problem.
Candice:(nods) Ahh.
Phil: I work on computers all day so I know a thing or two about computers.
Candice: I see.
Phil: So what do you do for a living?
Candice: I’m a dominatrix.
Phil stares, mouth hanging open.
Candice: I work in a dungeon where I tie up men and occasionally women, and I torture them for money.
Phil, frozen, continues to stare.
Candice: I take it you’ve never tried it?
Phil takes out his cell phone and dials a number. Candice watches him.
Phil:(into the phone) Yeah, Discount Car Rental? Do you have any cars available? … Now. … Where? (holds the phone away from his ear and speaks to Candice, enunciating as though talking to a deaf person) What’s. The. Next. Stop?
Madigan:(looking out the window) So what makes you think Ken’s fooling around on you?
Barb: He’s just acting really weird lately.
Madigan:(regards Barb) Weird like what?
Barb: I don’t know. It’s just one of those things a wife notices. You wouldn’t understand.
Madigan: What does that mean?
Barb: Well, you know. You and Tom were never really happy.
Madigan: That doesn’t mean I wasn’t a wife to him.
Barb: Come on, Maddie. He never even loved you. How can you say you knew him at all and that you’d notice little things that a real wife does, when you couldn’t even comprehend that? And anyway, you weren’t even married.
Madigan:(turns to the window) Marriage is just a piece of paper.
Barb: You wouldn’t know though, would you? You’ve never been married. Ken loved me enough to put a ring on my finger and tell the whole world that he wanted to spend his life with me. Nobody’s ever done that for you.
Madigan:(looks sharply at Barb) And yet you think he’s fooling around on you!
Barb:(checks her fingernails) Eeh, it’s probably just my imagination.
Madigan: (stares out the window and mumbles) Don’t count on it.
Dick: You’ll never guess what my wife and I did last night for dinner.
Gerald:(raises eyebrows) Do I want to know? I mean, really, are you sure I want to know?
Dick:(elbows Gerald in the ribs) Come on, of course you do. Anyways, I get home from work last night and she’s got all these candles going in the dining room, right?
Gerald: Lucky you don’t have kids.
Dick: Yeah whatever. Anyways, I walk in the door and there’s all these candles on the table and the sideboard and everything, and there she is dressed up in this … thing …
Gerald: What, like a gorilla suit?
Dick: No! She’s not wearing a gorilla suit! She’s got this black lacy thing on with her boobs hanging out, out to here (gestures with his hands in front of him) and this tiny little thong stuck up the crack of her ass that’s she’s wiggling at me …
Gerald puts his hand to his face and slouches in his seat.
Dick: … and on the table – get this – on the table is this assortment of whips and handcuffs, and I’m like, holy shit babe, this book you’ve been reading, it’s right up my alley.
Gerald: Don’t tell me …
Dick: That’s right, man. That Forty Shades dealio. I got my hogtie on with the handcuffs and the ball in the mouth and shit and she went to town on my ass, all night long, man. It’s incredible! Man, you should get that book for your wife.
Gerald:(unenthusiastically) Sounds like balls of fun.
Dick: Speaking of balls, mine are fucking aching this morning. You know, after all that she didn’t even want to have sex. She just flat shut me out. It’s like she just wanted to beat the hell outta me.
Gerald: Hey maybe I should read that book … The lingerie’s not a requirement, right?
Dick: … I guess not. But what would you want to read it for?
Agatha: When we get home, I think I’ll need a cup of tea.
Kitty stares out the window silently.
Agatha: All this traveling on the bus is for the birds. I’m not as young as I used to be.
Kitty regards Agatha and looks back out the window.
Agatha: I see all these young people, the boys with their bottoms hanging out of their pants and the girls … (shakes her head) If I’d tried to go out in the things the girls wear these days, my mother would have sent me to my room without any dinner. But, times change. I suppose I’m just old-fashioned.
Kitty turns to Agatha and blinks.
Agatha: You’re such a good girl, aren’t you pet?
Kitty yawns.
Agatha: Where would I be without you?
Kitty: Probably sitting at home drinking tea instead of taking me out to buy new jeans.
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