Life in progress


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295. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, June 22nd, 5:00pm
Juliette (and Drommen)

 

Juliette sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.

Juliette: Please be gentle.

Drommen: I beg your pardon, Madame?

Juliette: Well, you see, this is my first time on a bus, and you are the first man to sit beside me.

Drommen: Ah. Common bus etiquette demands that I at least introduce myself. I’m Jake.

Juliette: (smiles and extends gloved hand) I’m Juliette. It’s very nice to meet you, Jake.

Drommen: (takes her hand and kisses the back of it) My pleasure entirely.

Juliette: I’ve heard so many horror stories about taking the bus. I’m happy to find they’ve proven unfounded.

Drommen: I’m sure whatever you’ve heard is total nonsense. I try to come on the bus as often as I can, and there are few worse than myself.

Juliette: Well then. If you are just about as bad as it gets, I shall cease to worry.

Drommen: Quite right. I was going to ask you … would you mind if I …

Juliette: Yes?

Drommen: … change seats with you? I have a long way to go.

Juliette: Not at all.

 

Next stop: Saturday, June 23rd, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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294. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, June 21st, 7:00pm
Kyra (and Sean)

 

Kyra sits at the window. Sean takes the seat beside her.

Kyra: Oh God, not you again.

Sean: Yep. Me again.

Kyra: Well at least I won’t have to worry about seeing you for a while. I’m flying down to see my gramma in Florida.

Sean: Hope you’re in good shape.

Kyra: What for?

Sean: Ever been on a plane before?

Kyra: Nope. First time.

Sean: ‘Coz you’ve gotta flap your arms or the plane won’t take off.

Kyra: Bullshit.

Sean: Seriously. If everyone doesn’t flap their arms, the plane won’t leave the ground. All part of cost cutting and energy environmental crap. It was on the news.

Kyra stares at him.

Sean: Ask anyone.

Kyra turns away, squeezing her arm muscles discretely as she looks out the window.

 

Next stop: Friday, June 22nd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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293. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, June 20th, 5:00pm
Melina (and Zoey)

 

Melina sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside her.

Melina: Wait, what year is it?

Zoey: Errr … 2018 …?

Melina: You’re not sure either, eh?

 

Next stop: Thursday, June 21st, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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292. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, June 19th, 5:00pm
Sherman (and Phil)

 

Sherman sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside him.

Sherman: Back on the bus, are you?

Phil: (frowns) Yes.

Sherman: Have a change of heart about that new car of yours?

Phil: Actually, I took what you said to heart and traded my car in for an electric one.

Sherman: It’s not the bus, but it’s a step in the right direction towards being environmentally friendly.

Phil: Pfft. Yeah. Except I forgot to plug it in.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, June 20th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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291. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, June 18th, 6:00pm
CeeGee (and Remy)

 

CeeGee sits at the window, talking on her phone. Remy takes the seat beside her.

CeeGee: (into her phone) Boots. What are you wearing? (pause) Yes, that’s all I’m wearing. (pause) That noise in the background? Its the beating of my heart. (pause) I’m in bed, where are you? (pause) Oh yes, take it out, big boy.

Remy: (shaking his head and mumbling) Unbelievable.

CeeGee: (glares at Remy) Oh that’s just the TV. So where were we? Oh yeah, I was just pinching my …

Remy: (singing) Feelings. Nothing more than feelings.

CeeGee: (eyes wide, if-looks-could-kill glare at Remy) It’s the radio. (pause) Yes, I listen to the radio while I’m watching TV. The point is, I’m not wearing anything except boots. Now let’s get on with it, shall we? (pause) Yeah … that’s more like it. Show me what you got, baby!

Remy: (loudly) Tickets! Get your tickets here!

CeeGee: Oh yes, baby, yes! (pause) It’s nothing, just do it, baby, do it! Oh I’m so hot!

Remy: (louder) Ice cream!

CeeGee: (faces the window) I can’t turn the TV down, it seems to be stuck. But that doesn’t matter, baby. What matters is I need you! (pauses) What do you mean, “What am I really wearing?” I’m wearing my boots, just for you! (pauses) Oh, baby, don’t hang up! No, no, no, don’t! … (looks at phone. Sighs. Turns to Remy) Ice cream? Seriously?

Remy: Nice boots.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, June 19th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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290. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, June 17th, 7:00pm
Murna (and Bozo)

 

Murna sits at the window. Bozo, carrying half a dozen helium balloons, takes the seat beside her.

Murna: What are you supposed to be?

Bozo: I’m a clown.

Murna: Bit late on a Sunday for a clown to be out, isn’t it?

Bozo: I’m a special clown. I only do parties for ladies.

Murna stares.

Bozo: And occasionally gay men.

Murna: You take your costume off?

Bozo: (smiles) Everything but the makeup and the shoes.

Murna: So what do you do with the balloons?

Bozo: I tie them to …

Murna: NO! Don’t tell me.

Bozo: (shrugs) People seem to like it.

Murna: (thinks for a moment) What are you doing next Saturday?

Bozo: Why? You got a party coming up?

Murna: I won’t be home. But you could give my husband some tips.

 

Next stop: Monday, June 18th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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289. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, June 16th, 8:00pm
Edward (and Kyra)

 

Edward sits at the window. Kyra staggers down the aisle and takes the seat beside him.

Kyra: Hey I know you.

Edward: I don’t remember you.

Kyra: Yeah, you’re that guy that wants to be a vampire guy. You wanna share a bottle of wine with me?

Edward: I don’t drink wine.

Kyra: You sure? It’s red.

Edward: Just because it’s the same colour as blood doesn’t mean I want to drink it.

Kyra: Hey, you ever notice that blood has red and white cells and wine comes in red bottles and white bottles?

Edward stares at her.

Kyra: Gotta be a connection, right?

Edward: I still don’t want any wine.

Kyra: Suit yourself, vampire guy.

Edward: But I suppose I could drink it indirectly…

Kyra: What’s that supposed to mean?

Edward: (shrugs) Where are you getting off the bus?

Kyra: Main Street.

Edward: (smiles, exposing mouthful of fake fangs) Me too.

 

Next stop: Sunday, June 17th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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288. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, June 15th, 9:00pm
MoJo and JoJo

 

MoJo: Hey, man, what time is it?

JoJo: I dunno, dude. You’re the one with the watch.

MoJo: Pfft, yeah. It says it’s seven o’clock.

JoJo: So? It’s seven o’clock. What’s you’re problem, dude?

MoJo: It’s too dark to be seven o’clock. It’s, like, almost the longest day of the year.

JoJo: Dude! You know what that means, right?

MoJo: No?

JoJo: It means when your watch stopped, so did time!

MoJo: I don’t get it.

JoJo: Think about it, man. Your watch says seven, right?

MoJo: Yeah.

JoJo: But it’s dark, right?

MoJo: Yeah.

JoJo: So that means we must still be in winter!

MoJo: It’s pretty darned warm outside for winter, dude.

JoJo: Global warming, man!

MoJo: No way! So that means …

JoJo: You’d better get a new battery, dude.

MoJo: You’re right! Good thing I didn’t put the snow shovel away yet.

 

Next stop: Saturday, June 16th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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287. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, June 14th, 1:00pm
Simon (and Verne)

 

Simon sits at the window. Verne takes the seat beside him, grocery bag in hand.

Verne: (to bag, soothingly) That’s a nice chicken. (looks sideways at Simon and turns back to bag) I’m going to take you home and eat you all up. (looks sideways at Simon)

Simon smiles.

Verne: (to Simon) What? Haven’t you ever seen anyone talk to their food?

Simon: No, it’s okay! I talk to my food all the time.

Verne: Do you like the wings too?

Simon: (shakes head) I’m more of a leg man, myself. Maybe the occasional finger.

Verne: Ugh. I hate chicken fingers.

Simon: Me too.

Verne: And fish fingers.

Simon: (smiles) Me too.

Verne changes seats.

 

Next stop: Friday, June 15th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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286. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, June 13th, 5:00pm
Fred (and Rachael)

 

Fred sits at the window with a large cloth bag. Rachael takes the seat beside him.

Fred: (looking in the bag) Ooohh moomoomoomoo. Ohhh mommomooomooomoo.

Rachael strains to look at him with her eyes, without turning her head.

Fred: (looking in the bag) Oooohhh mooomooomoo. You’re just so cute! Ooohh moomoomoo …

Rachael: (leans over to look) What you got there?

Fred: Its a bag full of kittens.

Rachael: (in a high pitched voice) A bag full of kittens? (looking in the bag) Ooohh aren’t you cute!

Fred: Want one?

Rachael: What, you’re just giving them away?

Fred: Not really. What do you got to trade for ’em? Any dope?

Rachael stares.

Fred: (snickers) Just kidding. They’re all mine. (looking in the bag) Ooohhh moomoomoomooo.

 

Next stop: Thursday, June 14th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.