Life in progress

Category Archives: fiction


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221. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, April 9th, 5:00pm
Ethyl and Betty (and Yuka and Asako)

 

Ethyl: You see those tarts over there?

Betty: (stage whispers) Mom, they can hear you.

Ethyl: That doesn’t matter; they don’t understand me.

Betty: (stage whispers) Just because they’re from a different country doesn’t mean they don’t speak English.

Ethyl: Pfft. Listen to ’em! They’re speaking some Arab language. Couple of sluts.

Betty: (stage whispers) MOM!

Yuka and Asako stand.

Yuka: (to Ethyl as she passes on the way to the door) You’re a very rude lady.

Ethyl: Hey! You can’t talk to me like that!

Betty: (as Yuka and Asako disembark) Well, you weren’t very nice to them.

Ethyl: She called me rude in English! At least I didn’t call them sluts in their language!

 

Next stop: Tuesday, April 10th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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220. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, April 8th, 9:00am
Minerva and Dillon

 

Dillon: Can Carl come over and play tonight?

Minerva: No, your dad’s coming home tonight.

Dillon: Don’t call him my dad.

Minerva: You know what I mean. He’s been away for a week, and he’s gonna want quiet.

Dillon: You mean he wants to get drunk.

Minerva: Dillon …

Dillon: And then he’s gonna–

Minerva: Dillon!

Dillon: Never mind. Can I go over to Carl’s?

Minerva: I’ll call his mom when we get home.

 

Next stop: Monday, April 9th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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219. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, April 7th, 3:00pm
Karla (and Kevin)

 

Karla sits at the window. Kevin takes the seat beside her.

Kevin: Nice cell you got there.

Karla: (without looking up from her cell phone) Uh huh.

Kevin: I just got a new one myself. (digs phone out of his pocket)

Karla: (without looking up) That’s nice.

Kevin: Cost me two thousand bucks.

Karla: (glances at his phone) You got ripped off.

Kevin: No way. This thing is fast. Put it on a table and it turns the whole table into a screen.

Karla: (without looking up) Uh huh.

Kevin: Even a wooden table.

Karla: Riiiight.

Kevin: It’s true.

Karla: (looks at him) Put it down on that seat over there. I wanna see it turn into a screen.

Kevin: (shakes head) Won’t work. It’s not a table.

Karla scoffs at him and goes back to her phone.

Kevin: It can even predict the lottery numbers.

Karla: (without looking up) So you’ll be buying a car tomorrow?

Kevin: (smiles) Prolly.

Karla: Good, then you won’t be on the bus.

 

Next stop: Sunday, April 8th, 9:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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218. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, April 6th, 8:00pm
Drommen (and Holly)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Holly takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Hey, long time no see!

Holly: Yeah, it’s been a while.

Drommen: We should get together sometime soon. You know, not on the bus.

Holly: Actually, (places her hand on her distended belly) Joel came back. He’s going to do right by the baby.

Drommen: That’s great. But, isn’t this the same guy who ran out on you and you put a hit out on?

Holly: (nods and smiles) Yeah.

Drommen: Oookay.

 

Next stop: Saturday, April 7th, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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217. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, April 5th, 4:00pm
Hans (and Zoey)

 

Hans sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Hans: Life is really like a portrait.

Zoey: I beg your pardon?

Hans: Life. It’s like this great–no, this humongous picture.

Zoey: You think?

Hans: Yes.

Zoey: Don’t you think life has a bit more movement than a picture?

Hans: Who’s to say a picture doesn’t move when no one is looking?

Zoey: Huh. Like if a tree falls in the forest.

Hans: Exactly.

Zoey: That’s kinda scary.

Hans: It is.

 

Next stop: Friday, April 6th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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216. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, April 4th, 4:00 7:00pm

Maurice (and Stuart)

 

(Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.)

Maurice: Well, hello there.

Stuart: Don’t ask.

Maurice: Okay then.

Stuart: Okay, fine. I’m late because of a power outage.

Maurice: That’s understandable. At least it didn’t have anything to do with the cat this time.

Stuart: You would think so, wouldn’t you.

Maurice: But … you sent the cat to the pound.

Stuart: The cat came back.

Maurice: The very next day?

Stuart: Yep. The old lady went and picked it up.

Maurice: How did she know where it was?

Stuart: She says it sent for her in a dream. That the cat’s her familiar or something.

Maurice: Wow. So how did the cat have anything to do with the power outage?

Stuart: (shakes his head) You’re going to think this is crazy.

Maurice: Try me.

Stuart: The old lady says the cat conjured the wind storm that felled the tree branch that knocked out the power. And get this: all because it wanted me to talk about it.

Maurice: You’re right. That’s crazy. …wait, you don’t believe it, do you?

Stuart: Have you got a better explanation for this weather?

Maurice: Nope.

Stuart: There you go then.

 

Next stop: Thursday, April 5th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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215. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, April 3rd, 8:00am
Michael (and Joanna)

 

Michael sits at the window reading the newspaper. Joanna takes the seat beside him.

Michael: This is incredible.

Joanna: What is?

Michael: This. (shows her a picture in the newspaper) Did you hear about it?

Joanna: (grimaces) What the hell is that even a picture of?

Michael: (points) It’s a guy.

Joanna: In a tree? What, is he stuck?

Michael: Yeah. He was found hanging from a limb, and … Here, I’ll just read it: “On Sunday morning, an east-end resident called police when she heard loud shrieking noises coming from her back yard shortly after she let her dog out. Before the police arrived, she snapped a picture of a man hanging from her century old oak, pinned there by his collar by a short wooden stake. It wasn’t until police arrived, however, that she found the man’s biggest complaint wasn’t the hanging, but the fact that he had lost his plastic vampire fangs. The dog was later discovered wearing an extra-toothy grin.”

Joanna: (shakes head) Takes all kinds I guess.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, April 4th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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214. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, April 2nd, 8:00pm
Robert and Donald

 

Donald: (rubs face) Ugh. I’m going to hate Easter from now on.

Robert: Well, it had to be done.

Donald: I know. (pats Robert’s knee) Thanks again for coming with me.

Robert: I know what it’s like to come out.

Donald: Did you see the look on my dad’s face?

Robert: (nods) Same as the one on mine.

They sit in silence for a moment.

Donald: I’ll move out by the end of next week.

Robert: That’s a great place you guys found. I’m happy for you.

Donald: Thanks. Too bad about Blaine.

Robert: (flicks hand) It was never meant to last.

Donald nods.

Robert: I’m gonna miss you, you know.

Donald: Yeah, me too.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, April 3rd, 8:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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213. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

(Happy Easter!!)

Sunday, April 1st, 4:00pm
James (and Harvie)

 

James: Today is your big day. Tomorrow too.

Harvie nods.

James: Are you excited?

Harvie: (bouncing up and down) Oh yes. Very.

James: I think you should stop bouncing …

Harvie: (bounces) I can’t help it!

James: … at least until we get off the bus …

Harvie: (bounces higher) But I’m so happy!

James: … because if you don’t …

Harvie: (bounces very high and then stops) Oh no!

James: You laid an egg, didn’t you.

Harvie: I’m sorry.

James picks up a chocolate egg from the seat beside him and exits the bus.

 

Next stop: Monday, April 2nd, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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212. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, March 31, 8:00pm
Edward (and Andrea)

 

Edward sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Andrea: Hi, honey.

Edward: No …

Andrea: Do you like it?

Edward: Noooo …

Andrea: But … Lacey promised me you’d like it anyway. We tried, but …

Edward: It’s pink. Your hair is pink.

Andrea: Well I like it. Even though it was an accident. Should I try again? ‘Coz I can, like, try again next week.

Edward: (covers his face with his hands and laments) It’s too late. It’s too late!!

Andrea: Does … that mean we’re not, like, going to the party anymore?

Edward: You idiot! Of course we’re not going to a party. We were never going to a party!

Andrea: (reaches into her bag and pulls out a wooden stake) Damned right, sucka!!

Edward leaps over her and runs for the door. Andrea chases him off the bus.

 

Next stop: Sunday, April 1st, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.