Friday, February 23rd, 7:00 10:10pm
Maurice and Stuart
Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.
Maurice: Hey! What happened to you? You’re really late tonight.
Stuart: (nods) You remember that old lady who lives with me?
Maurice: Yeah. Is she okay?
Stuart: Oh yeah. We got into a rousing game of Monopoly.
Maurice: I don’t think I’ve ever heard the words “rousing” and “Monopoly” used in the same sentence before.
Stuart: You haven’t met this lady. It all came down to her having hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk, and me with hotels on everything else, and she still won.
Maurice: Wow. The odds are incredible.
Stuart: Not really. Just as I was about to win, the dog and the cat flew across the board, chasing each other, and we lost everything. Had to start over again.
Maurice: Seriously? You must have already been playing for a while if you had all those properties. No wonder you’re late.
Stuart: Oh, no. That’s not why I’m late. The cat got out as I was walking out the door. I had to chase it around the neighbourhood.
Maurice: Oh man. How did you catch it?
Stuart: It got wet.
Maurice: Outside? In this weather?
Stuart: Kid saw me chasing it and squirted the thing with a squirt gun, thinking it was a rat.
Maurice: That’s right. It’s bald on account of the old lady’s allergies. But that doesn’t explain how you caught it.
Stuart: Sure it does. It brushed up against a fence post and got stuck. I’ve spent the last two hours figuring out how to heat up a fence post to get the cat off it.
Maurice: (looking confused) So, how does that have anything to do with the Monopoly game?
Colm:(exhales deeply) Good. To be honest, I was getting tired of putting on makeup and prancing around the living room until the neighbours called the cops.
Harvey:(stares) I thought you meant taking the bus!
Monday, February 19th, 8:00am
Michael (and DeeDee)
Michael sits at the window, reading. DeeDee takes the seat beside him.
DeeDee: (clears throat) Excuse me, sir?
Michael: I’m reading.
DeeDee: (shifts nervously in the seat) I’d like to interrupt you, if I may.
Michael:(looks up for the first time and does a double take) What for?
DeeDee: I’m sorry, but I’d like to ask you to help me. I’m doing a project for college, and I need to interview someone on the bus.
Michael: (smiles and closes his book on his lap) I’d be pleased to help out.
DeeDee:(exhales deeply) Thank you!
Michael observes her as she bends to pull a notepad out of her back pack.
DeeDee: (holds up finger) I’m almost ready.
Michael: Take your time.
DeeDee: Here we go. (straightens and holds a banana up to her mouth) First question: What would you say is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen on the bus? (moves the banana in Michael’s direction)
Michael: (hesitates) You’re … joking, right?
DeeDee:(brings the banana back) About what? (moves the banana out)
Michael: You’re interviewing me with a banana.
DeeDee: (brings the banana back) No I’m not. (holds up notepad) It’s a notepad.
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