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350. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language.

Thursday, August 16th, 9:00pm
Bella (and Alice) (and Edward)

 

Bella sits at the window looking worried. Alice takes the seat beside her.

Alice: What’s up?

Bella: The cops went over to pick up Lily.

Alice: ‘Bout time.

Bella: But there wasn’t a house there.

Alice: What do you mean there wasn’t a house there? You had the address written down and everything.

Bella: I know. Apparently, that’s why they didn’t pick her up in the first place. It was a vacant lot. Just a hole in the ground.

Alice: So what, you wrote the address down wrong when Edward let you go?

Bella: No. I went over there myself. The house was there just like I remembered. So I called the cops and went to a coffee shop to wait. When I went back again it was just like they said. A vacant lot.

Alice: That’s spooky.

Bella: And worst of all? Edward escaped.

Alice: Holy shit.

Bella: I know.

Alice: So what are we going to do?

Bella: I don’t want to run away …

Alice: … but there might not be any choice.

Edward: (pops up from the seat behind, making them both jump) It’s okay. I’m going to leave you alone.

Alice: You’re doing a good job already.

Bella: Stay away from me.

Edward: That’s what I just said. I’m going away. For real this time.

Bella: Promise?

Edward: Yes. But I promise you this too. I’ll see you again. When you least expect it.

Bella: That’s reassuring. How about never?

Edward: That’s not possible, Bella. We’re meant to be together. (smiles, showing fake fangs) Good bye for now, my love.

Edward sits at the back of the bus until it stops. He gets off.

Alice: What’ll you do when he comes back?

Bella: (opens purse to reveal a wooden stake, bulbs of garlic, and a cross) I got it covered.

 

Next stop: Friday, August 17th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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349. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, August 15th, 6:00 5:09pm
Hillary (and Drommen)

 

Hillary sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.

Hillary: Hey.

Drommen: Let’s go on a date.

Hillary: (sits up straight) A real one?

Drommen: Yeah. A real one.

Hillary: (narrows eyes) Are you going to give up … you know.

Drommen: Yep. No more asking people if they want to watch me masturbate on the bus.

Hillary: You’re not going to hate me for making you give it up?

Drommen: No, I’ve made a decision regardless.

Hillary kisses him on the cheek.

Drommen: (smiles) Where do you want to go on our first date?

Hillary: Your place.

 

Next stop: Thursday, August 16th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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348. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, August 14th, 6:00pm
Simon (and Wendy)

 

Simon sits at the window. Wendy takes the seat beside him.

Simon: Can I ask you a strange question?

Wendy: Sure.

Simon: If you were going to be executed but first they had to give you anything at all you wanted to eat, what would you order as your last meal?

Wendy: Hmmm … I think I’d order an endless buffet. Then I could eat myself to death before they got their hands on me.

Simon: That’s brilliant! I can add that to mine.

Wendy: What do you mean?

Simon: Well, I was going to order a fresh human as my last meal. But a whole buffet of them? I’d be in heaven before I even got there!

Wendy: That’s sick!

Simon: Do you really think so?

Wendy: Absolutely!

Simon: (thinks for a moment) Maybe I should stick with just one then.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, August 15th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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347. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, August 13th, 5:00pm
Gordon (and Rachael)

 

Gordon, dressed in a suit and tie, sits at the window. Rachael takes the seat beside him.

Gordon: (takes a small mirror from his briefcase and looks at his face) Hmph.

Rachael glances at him.

Gordon takes a compact out of the pocket of his jacket and begins to apply eye shadow.

Rachael: Oh my God!

Gordon regards her.

Rachael: I love that colour! What’s it called?

Gordon: Cerulean Summer. I got it in the drug store at the mall.

Rachael: I gotta write that down. I’ve been looking for a colour like that forever. Thank you.

Gordon: My pleasure. (goes back to fixing his eyes)

 

Next stop: Tuesday, August 14th, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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346. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, August 12th, 1:00pm
Winston and Freda

 

Winston: You know, I could very well be the most beautiful man on earth.

Freda: To somebody, maybe.

Winston: What’s that supposed to mean?

Freda: Your nose is on crooked, you have one eyebrow that constantly looks surprised, and there’s cake in your chin dimple.

Winston: I can pick the cake out.

Freda stares at him.

Winston: I was saving it for later.

 

Next stop: Monday, August 13th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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345. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, August 11th, 8:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Lily)

 

Alice: Are you sure you’re okay to go out tonight?

Bella: Never better. Now that Edward is locked up.

Lily: (pops up in the seat behind them, making them jump) No he’s not.

Bella: (turns) What do you mean he’s not? I was there when they arrested him … You too! How did you get out?

Lily: We turned to smoke and slipped out through the bars.

Alice: You’re full of shit.

Bella pulls out her phone.

Lily: Who you gonna call?

Bella: Ghostbusters, who do you think? I’m calling the cops to come and get you.

Lily: (smiles, showing fake fangs) They’ll never catch me.

Alice: Fuckin’ right they will.

Lily disappears.

Bella: Where’d she go.

Both lean over the seat. Lily is crouched down on the floor.

Alice: What’s that, your version of smoke?

Lily hisses and reaches up to pull the cord for the bus to stop.

Bella: You’re not hiding from anyone.

Lily continues to crouch down, ignoring her.

Bella: (to Alice) Do you believe this? She actually thinks she’s invisible.

The bus stops.

Alice: (as Lily disembarks) Wanna follow her?

Bella: Nah. I know where she lives.

 

Next stop: Sunday, August 12th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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344. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, August 10th, 7:00pm
Drommen and Francine

 

Francine: What will you do now that Hillary’s moved out?

Drommen: (shrugs) I dunno.

Francine: You could date her. I know you like her.

Drommen: I suppose. Now that Phillipa’s gone. Only …

Francine: Only you’d have to give up your hobby.

Drommen stares at her.

Francine: You think I don’t know what you do on the bus?

Drommen: It’s not something I really want to discuss with my sister.

Francine: Nevertheless. You should think about it. She’s worth it.

Drommen: I’ll think about it.

 

Next stop: Saturday, August 11th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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343. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, August 9th, 5:006:00pm
MoJo and JoJo

 

MoJo sits at the window. JoJo boards the bus.

JoJo: (standing in the aisle, points at MoJo) YOU!

MoJo: (points at himself) Who me?

JoJo: (shouting) Yes you! You killed my family. Now I will kill you!

MoJo: Dude, I didn’t kill your family!

JoJo: (approaches) You didn’t?

MoJo: No man. You need to stop watchin’ so many Kung Fu movies, Dude!

JoJo: (sits beside him) Huh. Maybe you’re right. What’ll we watch tonight then?

MoJo: (shrugs) Titanic?

JoJo: (smiles) Propeller guy! (holds up hand for high five)

MoJo: Sinkin’!

 

Next stop: Friday, August 10th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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342. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, August 8th, 5:00pm
Lester (and Armand)

 

Lester sits at the window. Armand takes the seat beside him.

Lester: Hey, nice hip waders.

Armand: Bit wet out there.

Lester: (nods) I just seen a fish swim by outside.

Armand: Awesome. Mind opening the window a crack? (pulls a fishing rod out of a long canvas case) Save me going to the grocery store.

Lester: No problem there, bud. Not much out there other’n a stray catfish though. They gots pretty sharp claws I hear.

Armand: (shrugs) You take what you can get.

 

Next stop: Thursday, August 9th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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341. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, August 7th, 5:00 7:00pm
Maurice (and Stuart)

 

Maurice sits at the window. Stuart takes the seat beside him.

Maurice: Hey, buddy! Long time no see!

Stuart: Yep. Been out of town for a while. Lost my apartment after I lost my job.

Maurice: Oh no! How did that happen?

Stuart: Damned cat.

Maurice: The cat made you lose your job and your apartment?

Stuart: Yep. It got this really weird skin rash. I spent a week looking after it because the old lady I lived with was allergic to the cream it needed rubbed on its skin.

Maurice: So you lost your job ’cause you took a week off?

Stuart: Yep.

Maurice: And I guess then you couldn’t afford the apartment.

Stuart: Oh, no. I could still afford it. But the old lady discovered that breed of cats that don’t have hair and decided the original cat got its skin disease because it was lonely. Twenty-six of the little buggers later, there was no room left for me.

Maurice: How is the old lady affording the place by herself?

Stuart: She taught the cats a bunch of tricks. She’s got a circus going in the living room. Charges a bundle to let people watch.

Maurice: Sounds like living with that old lady’s always been a bit of a circus.

Stuart: You got that right.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, August 8th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.