Life in progress

Tag Archives: Edward


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143. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Sunday, January 21st, 12:01am
Lacey and Edward (and Bella and Alice)

 

Edward: (standing) Bella! Are you all right?

Bella: (stumbling down the aisle with Alice behind her) Oh fuck, not you again.

Lacey: (standing to look at Edward) Hey, I know you. You’re the guy Andrea’s in love with. I recognize your fake fangs.

Alice: (slides into the seat across the aisle, beside Bella. To Edward:) You. Are such. A slut.

Edward: I am not. I love you, Bella.

Lacey: That’s what you said to my friend on New Year’s Eve.

Bella: What about that other girl? You know, that skank you were with before?

Edward: Lily is NOT a skank. She’s a nice vampire.

Alice: (snarling) If I wa’n’t so drunk, I’d fuck you up myself.

Edward: Bella, they mean nothing to me. It’s you I love. You’re my soulmate.

Lacey: (steps past him) You make me sick.

Edward: Tell Andrea I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt her.

Lacey: (mumbling) She might hurt you. (walks to the back of the bus)

Edward: Bella, you must let me take you home. You can’t make it alone.

Alice: She’s not alone. She’s got me, asshole.

Edward: You’re in no shape to take care of my mate for life.

Bella: (bursts out laughing) Mate for life? GET a fucking life!

Edward: I can’t have a life. I’ve been undead for 50 years.

Alice: (to Bella) Does that mean we can’t kill him?

Bella: I think so. Oh! Oh! Where’s my garlic?

Both roll in their seats laughing. Edward exits the bus, dejected.

 

Next stop: Monday, September 3rd, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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142. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, January 20th, 11:58pm
Lacey (and Edward) (and Bella)

 

Lacey sits at the window. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Edward: (checks watch) I’m gonna wait ’til the midnight hour.

Lacey: Beg pardon?

Edward: That’s when my love comes tumbling down.

Lacey: (shakes her head) What?

Edward: I’m gonna wait ’til the midnight hour.

Lacey snorts and turns her back to the window.

The bus stops and Bella gets on. Drunk, she trips up the stairs.

Edward: (checks watch and shows it to Lacey) See?

 

Next stop: Sunday, January 21st, 12:01am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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135. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, January 13th, 8:00pm
Drommen (and Andrea)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Good evening.

Andrea: Hey, I know you. We, like, sat together before. How you been doing?

Drommen: Not bad thanks, and you?

Andrea: (sighs) I’m so in love.

Drommen: Good for you!

Andrea: Not really. I, like, met him at New Year’s? And I haven’t seen him since. I was hoping I’d find him on the bus. That’s where I met him the first time. You meet some, like, really interesting people on the bus.

Drommen: That’s true.

Andrea: Anyways, I don’t suppose you’ve seen him? He’s pretty tall, skinny, and, like, drop-dead gorgeous, and he has really sharp fangs.

Drommen: Were you drunk on New Year’s Eve by any chance?

Andrea: Seriously? How’d you know?

 

Next stop: Sunday, January 14th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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125. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, January 3rd, 9:00pm
Edward and Lily

Lily: What the hell is wrong with you tonight?

Edward: (rocking, arms crossed over his stomach) I don’t know. I’ve been feeling sick since Monday morning.

Lily: Did you eat something that didn’t agree with you?

Edward: That must be it.

 

Next stop: Thursday, January 4th, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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124. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Tuesday, January 2nd, 7:00pm
Andrea and Lacey

 

Andrea: So yeah, like, I met this guy on New Year’s Eve. Right here on the bus. And he was, like, oh my God, so HOT!!

Lacey: No way!

Andrea: Oh, like, SO way! So we get off the bus, right? And immediately we start making out. Look (pulls at scarf) you can see where he gave me a hickey.

Lacey: Oh my God, that’s not just, like, one hickey.

Andrea: Right? He just about went to town on my neck and I’m, like, enough with the neck thing, okay? So he starts, like, doing other stuff but he never leaves off my neck, right?

Lacey: Uh huh.

Andrea: And so the next thing I know, we’re, like, getting into this big fight but then my alarm goes off and it’s, like, Oh my God! It’s midnight! Right? So he grabs me and, like, kisses me …

Lacey: On the neck?

Andrea: Whatever. And then he, like, drags me off into the park, and the next thing I know I’m waking up on a bench with all these blankets on me and it’s, like, yesterday morning already.

Lacey: What the…

Andrea: I know, right? And get this: I was covered in sparkles. I can’t even wash some of them off. Look. (pulls down scarf on the other side) So I’m hoping I’ll see him again and ask him, like, what the fuck happened?

Lacey: What’s his name?

Andrea: I have no idea. Eddie or something.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, January 3rd, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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122. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Sunday, December 31st, 11:47pm
Andrea (and Edward)

 

Andrea sits at the window. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Andrea: I can’t believe I’m stuck on this fucking bus at (looks at her cell phone) thirteen minutes to twelve on New Year’s Eve.

Edward: You’re not alone. I should be out drinking.

Andrea: Tell me about it.

Edward: I could take you out somewhere …

Andrea: I beg your pardon?

Edward smiles, showing his plastic fangs.

Andrea: Oh my God, are you kidding me?

Edward: No. Wanna ditch the bus? I could really go for a drink.

Andrea: Let’s go.

 

Next stop: Monday, January 1st, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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118. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, December 27th, 8:00pm
Bella (and Edward) (and Lily)

 

Bella sits in the aisle seat. Edward takes the seat behind her.

Edward: I have a confession.

Bella: Oh God, not you again.

Edward: I’m serious, Bella. I have something I need to tell you.

Bella: Leave me alone.

Edward: I fooled around on you.

Bella ignores him.

Edward: With another vampire.

Bella ignores him.

Edward: Bella, I can see this is tearing you up inside and I apologize. I was weak.

Bella continues to ignore him.

Edward: I’m not surprised you’re not talking to me. I wouldn’t talk to me either. (gets up and sits back down abruptly) Oh no. That’s her. You have to pretend you don’t know me.

Bella: (laughs and turns around) Are you serious? Now you want me to ignore you so your little vampire girlfriend doesn’t know you’re in love with someone else?

Edward: (ducking down behind the seat, stage whispers) Don’t talk to me!

Bella: Oh come on, Edward. You know me!

Edward: Stop it!

Lily: (approaches) Edward get up!

Edward sits stiffly, staring forward.

Bella: (to Lily) He’s pretending he doesn’t know me … Oh God, not another one.

Lily: (showing a mouthful of fake fangs) Bitch!

Bella pulls the bell cord and hurries to the front of the bus to get off.

 

Next stop: Thursday, December 28th, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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106. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Friday, December 15th, 8:00pm
Edward (and Lily)

 

Edward sits in the aisle seat. Lily takes a seat behind him.

Lily: (leaning forward) Hey, sexy, going my way?

Edward: (without turning) What a stupid question. We’re on a bus. (turns to her) Of course I’m go … (sniffs) Who are you?

Lily: (smiles, showing a mouthful of fake fangs) I’m the girl who’s going to make you happy.

Edward: (stands) No you’re not! I belong to Bella!

Lily: Okay! Okay! Calm down. Have a seat.

Edward sits and stares forward.

Lily: (leaning forward to speak in his ear) I bet Bella can’t give you what I can.

Edward: (meekly) Are you talking about eternal life?

Lily: No, I’m talking about really great head.

Edward stands, hisses at her showing his own fake fangs, and hurries to the door to dramatically wait to get off the bus.

 

 

Next stop: Saturday, December 16th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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79. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, November 18th, 8:00pm
Drommen (and Edward)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Edward takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: What the hell are you doing back?

Edward: I’ve decided to forgive you.

Drommen: (laughs) You’re joking.

Edward: No. I’ve forgiven you because it’s obvious you’re not trying to kill me. Not like some people.

Drommen: I don’t want to kill you. I just want you and your plastic fangs and your sparkles off my bus.

Edward: (hisses, showing his plastic teeth) They’re not plastic. They’re all mine.

Drommen: I have no doubt they’re yours. Where’d you buy them from – Dollarama?

Edward: I got them from the dentist. After someone knocked my real fangs out.

Drommen: Your real fangs?

Edward: His name was van Helsing. Do you know him?

Drommen: Yeah, I know him. He was from Dracula.

Edward: Dracula? No way. Dracula was a myth. I’m the real thing.

Drommen: Pfft. You’re just a teeny-bopper wannabe.

Edward: I am not! Do you want me to bite your neck and prove it?

Drommen: (glares for a moment) You. Wouldn’t. Dare.

Edward stares, uncertain. He stands, holding the skirt of his trenchcoat up to cover the lower part of his face. He hisses, then runs to the door to dramatically wait for the next stop.

 

 

Next stop: Sunday, November 19th, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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71. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, November 10th, 8:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward)

 

Bella: I hate coming on this bus. I’m just waiting for that creep with the teeth to show up again.

Alice: Well, he’s not here now. And even if he was, this place we’re going to is totally worth it.

Bella: I look okay? Do you like my earrings?

Alice: They’re so cute!

Bella: I just hope I can meet someone nice.

Alice: Believe me, there are TONS of single guys.

Edward: (pops up from behind them) Hello.

Bella and Alice jump forward on their seats.

Bella: Where the fuck did you come from?

Edward: I’ve been here all the time. I’m disappointed in you, Bella. You don’t need anyone but me.

Alice: (speaking as though to someone who doesn’t understand English) She. Doesn’t. Need. You. Now go away, and stop being so fuckin’ creepy.

Edward: (ignoring Alice) Bella don’t go with her. Come with me. I’ll show you what it’s like to really live.

Bella: Go away before I call the cops.

Edward: The police can’t hold me. I’m a vampire. (smiles, showing his plastic fangs)

Alice: (opens her bag) Where’s my can of mace?

Edward: (scoffs) Mace can’t hurt me.

Bella: Wait, I’ve got something better.

Bella pulls a clove of garlic out of her purse.

Edward: (eyes wide) NO! (runs for the door)

Alice: Nice one.

Bella: I was a Girl Scout.

 

Next stop: Saturday, November 11th, 11:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.