Life in progress

Tag Archives: humorous fiction


by Leave a comment

241. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, April 29th, 9:00am
Andrea and Lacey

 

Andrea: So this person, right? Sits beside me on the bus last night after work and, like, asks me out for coffee.

Lacey: Uh huh.

Andrea: And when I say no, I’m, like, just gonna go home and put my feet up? This person tells me they give fantastic foot rubs.

Lacey: So you said no … obviously?

Andrea: I don’t even know if it was a guy or a girl! I’m not taking a girl home with me! Even if she’s like the best foot rubber on the planet!

Lacey: What if it was–

Andrea: A guy? (bites lip, thinking) Then I screwed myself out of a good night.

Lacey: You gotta meet this person on the bus again.

Andrea: I gotta meet this person on the bus again.

 

Next stop: Monday, April 30th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 5 Comments

239. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, April 27th, 6:00pm
Jose and Gisele

 

Gisele: Thanks for coming out for coffee with me.

Jose: Oh no problem. It was … nice.

Gisele: (after an uncomfortable silence) So, you have any plans for the summer?

Jose: I was thinking about going away on vacation, but I have reservations.

Gisele: Oh yeah? Where are you heading?

Jose: I’m not even sure I want to go.

Gisele: Then … why did you make reservations?

 

Next stop: Saturday, April 28th, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 4 Comments

237. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, April 25th, 5:00pm
April and June

 

April: I’m almost finished.

June: (looks over at April’s lap) I’m not even close to starting yet. Hey, have you seen May lately?

April: I think she’s due to show up next week sometime.

June: (gazes out the window) EWWW!!!

April: (leans across to see what she’s looking at) What did you see?

June: Something squashed on the road. I think it might have been a groundhog.

April: (nods) I heard there was a March against them last month.

 

Next stop: Thursday, April 26th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 3 Comments

236. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Tuesday, April 24th, 6:00pm
Drommen (and Andrea)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Andrea takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Hey, how are you?

Andrea: Oh, you know.

Drommen: Guy trouble?

Andrea: Yeah, well. Eddie, like, caught up with me the other day? Said he’s got a new job.

Drommen: Really?

Andrea: (nods) He gave me this, like, sob story about not having enough money to live on. He was trying to convince me to give him a loan.

Drommen: And you said no of course.

Andrea: (sighs) Yeah.

Drommen: Then why so fed up?

Andrea: Well, you know how I, like, pinned him to a tree a couple of weeks ago?

Drommen: (laughs) That was a good one.

Andrea: Turns out he lost his teeth. He talked me into getting him a new pair. Figured it was the least I could do.

Drommen: So fang-boy’s back in business then.

Andrea: Apparently he needed them for his new job, or some such bullshit.

Drommen: So he can suck the life out of everyone’s enjoyment in the workplace?

Andrea: Probably.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, April 25th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by Leave a comment

234. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, April 22nd, 1:00pm
Mona and Sparky

 

Mona: (while texting) I’m so ugly.

Sparky: Who told you that?

Mona: I did. (lifts cell phone) And Martina agrees with me.

Sparky: Martina can go suck eggs.

Mona: You think so?

Sparky: Yeah. You’re beautiful. What does she know?

Mona: I’ll tell her. (starts texting)

Sparky: (after a while) What did she say?

Mona: (reading) “I’m not a mongoose.” What does that even mean?

Sparky: I don’t …

Mona: Wait! There’s another text. (reading) “And Sparky’s ugly too.”

Sparky: See? I told you she don’t know nothing.

 

Next stop: Monday, April 23rd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 3 Comments

233. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, April 21st, 9:00pm
Edward and Lily

 

Edward: It was awful!

Lily: There there. Who can I get rid of for you? Is it that new boss of yours?

Edward: No! I can’t believe he meant for it to happen. All those … women! And they were dancing with poles … Some of them were upside down!

Lily: So you want me to go there and get rid of the women for you?

Edward: (touches her hand) No. It’s too dangerous. Women are dangerous. Real human women that is. Not you.

Lily: Come home with me then, Edward darling. I’ll look after you.

Edward: You will?

Lily: For you? I’ll even open my best red.

Edward: You will?

Lily: Of course. I’ve had him chained up in my basement for months.

 

Next stop: Sunday, April 22nd, 1:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 2 Comments

232. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, April 20th, 3:00pm
Dudes

 

Dude: Oh dude, I am sooo fucked up.

Dude: Where are we going again?

Dude: We’re going … that way.

Both giggle

Dude: (points) Dude, that kid over there is going to throw up.

Dude: No way.

Child vomits.

Dude: (loudly) Bus driver! Clean up in aisle 4!

Both giggle hysterically

Dude: No dude, aisle 420!

Dude: Hey, this is our stop.

Both get up

Dude: (to everyone on the bus) Happy 4/20 everyone!

Dude: Yeah, Happy George Takei’s birthday!

Dudes get off the bus.

 

Next stop: … dude … no idea.

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by Leave a comment

231. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, April 19th, 5:00pm
Wally (and Taylor)

 

Wally sits at the window. Taylor takes the seat across the aisle.

Taylor: (breathing heavily) Whew!

Wally: You look like you been running.

Taylor: I did. I thought I was going to miss the bus.

Wally: Just get off work at the plant?

Taylor nods, still trying to catch his breath.

Wally: I use to work there. Got fired.

Taylor: Oh yeah?

Wally: Yep, got accused of stealing by a co-worker when it was literally him who was stealing.

Taylor: Got thrown under the bus, eh?

Wally: Literally.

Taylor: That’s gotta hurt.

 

Next stop: Friday, April 20th, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 1 Comment

230. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Wednesday, April 18th, 8:00pm
Mr. Splindle and Edward

 

Mr. Splindle: So what were you doing before, Edward?

Edward: I worked for a man … er … I was an apprentice of sorts.

Mr. Splindle: That idea died, did it?

Edward: It dyed the wrong colour completely.

Mr. Splindle: And what do you like to do for fun?

Edward: Do you mean what are my hobbies?

Mr. Splindle: No! No, not at all. This isn’t an interview, son! It’s what you might call a recruitment! No, I just want to know what sorts of things might be distracting you from our little venture.

Edward: Well, I like to look at girls.

Mr. Splindle: So you like pussy, eh son? A man after my own heart.

Edward: (frowning) That’s not what I said.

Mr. Splindle: What are you talking about then, lad?

Edward: I like to look at girls, not cats.

Mr. Splindle regards him for a moment.

Edward: And I don’t like dogs.

Mr. Splindle: (pats him on the knee and smiles) Son, the cats we’re going to see tonight’ll have you howling like a dog at the moon.

 

Next stop: Thursday, April 19th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


by 2 Comments

229. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, April 17th, 5:00pm
Fred and Ginger

 

Ginger: So, you wanna go dancin’?

Fred: I won’t dance.

Ginger: What do you wanna do then?

Fred: Don’t ask me!

 

Next stop: Wednesday, April 18th, 8:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.