Colm:(exhales deeply) Good. To be honest, I was getting tired of putting on makeup and prancing around the living room until the neighbours called the cops.
Harvey:(stares) I thought you meant taking the bus!
Monday, February 19th, 8:00am
Michael (and DeeDee)
Michael sits at the window, reading. DeeDee takes the seat beside him.
DeeDee: (clears throat) Excuse me, sir?
Michael: I’m reading.
DeeDee: (shifts nervously in the seat) I’d like to interrupt you, if I may.
Michael:(looks up for the first time and does a double take) What for?
DeeDee: I’m sorry, but I’d like to ask you to help me. I’m doing a project for college, and I need to interview someone on the bus.
Michael: (smiles and closes his book on his lap) I’d be pleased to help out.
DeeDee:(exhales deeply) Thank you!
Michael observes her as she bends to pull a notepad out of her back pack.
DeeDee: (holds up finger) I’m almost ready.
Michael: Take your time.
DeeDee: Here we go. (straightens and holds a banana up to her mouth) First question: What would you say is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen on the bus? (moves the banana in Michael’s direction)
Michael: (hesitates) You’re … joking, right?
DeeDee:(brings the banana back) About what? (moves the banana out)
Michael: You’re interviewing me with a banana.
DeeDee: (brings the banana back) No I’m not. (holds up notepad) It’s a notepad.
Thursday, February 15th, 6:00pm
Andrea (and Lacey)
Andrea sits at the window. Lacey takes the seat beside her.
Andrea: Oh. My. God. Lace, you won’t believe what happened.
Lacey: Lay it on me.
Andrea: You know that guy, right? That, like, Edward guy?
Lacey: The one you’re …
Andrea: The one I’m in love with, right. Anyway, I saw him on yesterday. Right here on the bus. Can you believe it? And so we’re making a date with it being, like, Valentine’s, and everything is going great, and then, get this: I mentioned going out for a steak and he took off!
Lacey: No!
Andrea: He jumped right … out … the fuckin’ … window!
Lacey: No. Way.
Andrea: WAY! Can you imagine? He’s, like, so scared of me now, that he jumps out the window of a moving bus!
Lacey: It was moving?
Andrea: YES! You’d think a vampire would be able to handle a little steak, so, like, it’s gotta be me.
Thursday, February 8th, 7:00pm
Bella and Edgar (and Edward)
Edgar: It’s going to be great meeting your parents. Do you really think they’ll like me?
Bella: What’s not to like? You were the captain of the football team, which my dad is going to love.
Edgar: That was a couple of years ago though.
Bella: And now you’re an electrical engineer. (takes his arm and hugs it) Brains and strength.
Edgar: And your mom?
Bella: You know how to cook. She’ll be very impressed. (kisses him on the cheek)
Edgar: Thanks. I feel bett …
Edward: (popping up in the seat behind) Who’s this, Bella?
Bella:(rolling her eyes) He’s my boyfriend. What’s it to you?
Edward: He’s not meant for you. I am.
Bella: You’re crazy.
Edward: Crazy in love with you.
Edgar:(turns) Step aside, man.
Edward: I will not! Bella is the love of my life! My soulmate! There can only be one for h …
Edgar: (punches him in the nose) I said, step aside. The lady wants nothing to do with you.
Edward: (holding his nose and heading for the door) I’ll get you for this! You have no idea what it’s like to feel the wrath of a vampire! (gets off the bus)
Edgar: Do you think your friend Drommen will be happy with that little performance?
Bella:(smiling) Very. You really should come and meet my parents. For real.
Edgar: Don’t you think we should go out together first?
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