Life in progress


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145. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, January 23rd, 7:00pm
Candice (and Justin)

 

Candice sits at the window. Justin takes the seat beside her.

Justin: Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?

Candice: Maybe.

Justin: Yeah, from that place there.

Candice: I go a lot of places.

Justin: Yeah, it’s … (puts his hands over his face) Ugh. I can’t do this anymore.

Candice: Do what?

Justin: I’m working for this guy who uses me to swindle money out of women. I just … can’t. Sure, they get a lot of pleasure out of it by the time I’m through with them. But it’s just not fair.

Candice: (pats his knee) There, there. I understand.

Justin: You do?

Candice: I kind of do the same thing.

Justin: (speaks an octave higher) You do?

Candice: (nods) Mmhm.

Justin: Huh.

Candice: Listen, just how bad do you feel about what you’ve done?

Justin: Pretty bad.

Candice: Bad enough that you’d like to be punished?

Justin: (smiles shyly) Kinda.

Candice: (grins) In that case, have I got a treat for you.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, January 24th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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144. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Monday, January 22nd, 3:00pm
Drommen (and Holly)

 

Drommen sits at the window. A light shines on him from above and he stands and addresses the audience.

Drommen: Hello. (steps into the aisle, resting a hand on the back of the seat) What if none of this is real. What if I am just the fantasy of a writer. An author in a crisis of identity. What would the outcome be.

Drommen takes a seat and stares out the window as the overhead light dims. Holly approaches.

Holly: Hey! How are you? Long time no see!

Drommen: (looks up and smiles) Well, hi there. Have a seat.

Holly: (sits) How have you been?

Drommen: Oh, not bad. My sister Francine moved in with me, but apart from that nothing much is new. How about you?

Holly: Everything’s great! The baby is due in a few months. No sign of Mr. Fangs or my ex, so things are fantastic. And I’ve got you to thank for it. (nudges him) So what was it you wanted to show me last time?

Drommen: (frowns) I was going to ask you if you’d mind if I masturbate.

Holly: (smiles) Go ahead! I’d love to watch.

Drommen: But now I’m a little reluctant.

Holly: Why is that?

Drommen: Well you see, I’ve got all these other people watching now, and I’m not sure I can do it.

Holly: Performance anxiety?

Drommen: Precisely.

Holly freezes. A light shines from above and Drommen stands and addresses the audience.

Drommen: And there you have it. I’m Jake Drommen, and this is the Bus Stop Zone.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, January 23rd, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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143. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Sunday, January 21st, 12:01am
Lacey and Edward (and Bella and Alice)

 

Edward: (standing) Bella! Are you all right?

Bella: (stumbling down the aisle with Alice behind her) Oh fuck, not you again.

Lacey: (standing to look at Edward) Hey, I know you. You’re the guy Andrea’s in love with. I recognize your fake fangs.

Alice: (slides into the seat across the aisle, beside Bella. To Edward:) You. Are such. A slut.

Edward: I am not. I love you, Bella.

Lacey: That’s what you said to my friend on New Year’s Eve.

Bella: What about that other girl? You know, that skank you were with before?

Edward: Lily is NOT a skank. She’s a nice vampire.

Alice: (snarling) If I wa’n’t so drunk, I’d fuck you up myself.

Edward: Bella, they mean nothing to me. It’s you I love. You’re my soulmate.

Lacey: (steps past him) You make me sick.

Edward: Tell Andrea I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt her.

Lacey: (mumbling) She might hurt you. (walks to the back of the bus)

Edward: Bella, you must let me take you home. You can’t make it alone.

Alice: She’s not alone. She’s got me, asshole.

Edward: You’re in no shape to take care of my mate for life.

Bella: (bursts out laughing) Mate for life? GET a fucking life!

Edward: I can’t have a life. I’ve been undead for 50 years.

Alice: (to Bella) Does that mean we can’t kill him?

Bella: I think so. Oh! Oh! Where’s my garlic?

Both roll in their seats laughing. Edward exits the bus, dejected.

 

Next stop: Monday, September 3rd, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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142. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, January 20th, 11:58pm
Lacey (and Edward) (and Bella)

 

Lacey sits at the window. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Edward: (checks watch) I’m gonna wait ’til the midnight hour.

Lacey: Beg pardon?

Edward: That’s when my love comes tumbling down.

Lacey: (shakes her head) What?

Edward: I’m gonna wait ’til the midnight hour.

Lacey snorts and turns her back to the window.

The bus stops and Bella gets on. Drunk, she trips up the stairs.

Edward: (checks watch and shows it to Lacey) See?

 

Next stop: Sunday, January 21st, 12:01am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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141. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, January 19th, 22:00
Willhelm (and Kyra)

 

Willhelm sits at the window. Kyra takes the seat beside him.

Willhelm: Hi.

Kyra: Hello.

Willhelm: Do you have ze time?

Kyra: (pulls cell phone out of her pocket) It’s ten.

Willhelm: Twenty-two hundred hours. And counting.

Kyra: Counting to what?

Willhelm: Zee end of ze world, of course.

Kyra: And what time’s this supposed to happen?

Willhelm: At 22:22, unless I stop it.

Kyra: So, wait. So, you’re taking a city bus to get to where ever you need to go to save the world from destruction?

Willhelm: (nods) Ja.

Kyra: (sits forward, agitated) Is the bus going to, like, fuckin’ make it there on time?

Willhelm: (nods) Ja.

Kyra: (huffs) Well thank Christ for that.

 

Next stop: Saturday, January 20th, 11:58pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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140. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Thursday, January 18th, 4:00pm
Brandon and Jordan

 

Brandon: Why you so down today?

Jordan: What do you think?

Brandon waits quietly.

Jordan: Marissa broke up with me.

Brandon: No way!

Jordan nods and bites his nails.

Brandon: Did she say why?

Jordan shakes his head slightly but says nothing.

Brandon: Is it the sex thing?

Jordan nods.

Brandon: She doesn’t deserve you, man.

Jordan: I dunno.

Brandon: No, seriously. Stick to your guns. If sex is all she wants, she’s not worth it.

Jordan: I broke my fuckin’ ankle for her.

Brandon: Exactly.

 

Next stop: Friday, January 19th, 22:00

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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139. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, January 17th, 5:55pm
Marchare (and Don Kee)

 

Marchare sits at the window, hands on the seat in front. Don Kee takes the seat beside him.

Marchare: What’s wrong with this bus?

Don Kee: (in a droning voice) I don’t see a problem.

Marchare: (checks pocket watch) I’m late!

Don Kee: Aren’t we all.

Marchare: I’m late!!

Don Kee: It’s five minutes to six.

Marchare: But I have a very important date – at six!

Don Kee: The bus isn’t scheduled to stop until six.

Marchare: I should get off. And run!

Don Kee: That won’t do you any good.

Marchare: Why not?

Don Kee: Nothing ever does.

Marchare: (checks watch) No time!

Marchare leaps over Don Kee and stands at the door, bouncing.

Don Kee: (to himself) Some people. Just can’t seem to keep their tails on.

 

Next stop: Thursday, January 18th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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138. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, January 16th, 9:00pm
Dillon (and Zoey)

 

Dillon sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Zoey: Hey. Aren’t you a bit young to be on the bus alone at this time at night?

Dillon: (stares at her for a moment) My mom’s sick. She went to the hospital.

Zoey: Oh no.

Dillon: So I have to go home to my step-dad. He’s drunk.

Zoey: Are you going to be okay?

Dillon shrugs.

Zoey: Is there a friend you could stay with instead?

Dillon: Yeah. But he lives the other way.

Zoey: Do you know his number? (pulls cell phone from pocket) I could call him.

Dillon: I’ll be okay.

Zoey: Well, can I give you some money to take another bus?

Dillon: (hesitates) Sh … sure.

Zoey: (hands him $3 in coins) Are you sure you’ll be okay?

Dillon: (shrugs) Yeah. Thanks.

Zoey: My stop’s coming up. Do you want to come with me to talk to the bus driver? He can make sure you get where you want to go.

Dillon: Sure.

They get up together.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, January 17th, 5:55pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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137. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, January 15th, 5:00pm
Kevin (and Phil)

 

Kevin is seated in the aisle seat. Phil approaches.

Phil: Mind if I sit here?

Kevin: Not at all. (moves to the window seat)

Phil: (sits) Ugh. I hate the bus.

Kevin: Why you on it then?

Phil: My car broke down. Again.

Kevin: Oh yeah? I used to own a car.

Phil: Why’d you give it up?

Kevin: Ah, it was a Mercedes.

Phil stares at him, waiting for him to go on.

Kevin: Yeah, it was repossessed. Actually, a bunch of drug dealers took it. They thought I was someone else. Who owed them, y’know?

Phil: So … did you call the cops?

Kevin: Nah. I had enough money to buy another one.

Phil: That’s not the point.

Kevin: (snorts) You ever been in trouble with the mob?

Phil: No. I work in an office.

Kevin: Then you wouldn’t understand. They’d come after me? I’da been dead. Then what good would a Mercedes have done me?

Phil: True.

Kevin: So I just left town. Came here. (looks behind him) I don’t think they’re following me anymore.

Phil stares at him for a moment then moves to another seat.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, January 16th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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136. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Sunday, January 14th, 7:00pm
Villem (and Hillary, and Drommen)

 

Villem sits at the window. Hillary takes the seat beside him, nodding to Drommen, who is already sitting behind Villem.

Villem: Hi again.

Hillary: You remember me?

Villem: You laughed at me. Course I do.

Hillary: Does that mean you’re going to behave your sorry ass this time?

Villem: (leers and opens his coat) No, it just means it’s bigger and harder this time.

Drommen: (leans forward, mouth to Villem’s ear) I have a cure for that. (holds up a pair of dressmaker’s shears)

Villem yips in surprise and climbs over Hillary to get to the door.

Drommen: And don’t come back!

Hillary shifts over and Drommen sits beside her.

Hillary: Where did you get the idea for the scissors?

Drommen: Little trick I learned from a knitter.

 

Next stop: Monday, January 15th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.