Tuesday, February 13th, 5:00pm
Brandon and Jordan
Brandon: So tomorrow’s the big day?
Jordan: Yeah. What are you planning to do for Valentine’s?
Brandon: I’m going to have a seizure.
Jordan: (stares) A … what?
Brandon: A seizure. There’s this really hot nurse at the hospital.
Jordan: You’re mocking me for breaking my ankle to get Marissa’s attention, aren’t you.
Brandon: Who me? Nah.
Jordan: Ass.
Next stop: Wednesday, February 14th, 8:00pm
Monday, February 12th, 5:00pm
Robert and Donald
Donald: So, what are we doing for Valentine’s Day?
Robert: Oh I don’t know.
Donald: I guess we should do something.
Robert: We don’t have to do anything.
Donald: We don’t?
Robert: Well, not together at least.
Donald: What are you suggesting?
Robert: I was thinking about going out with a friend.
Donald: A friend friend? Or …
Robert: Not … necessarily.
Donald: You mean you have a new lover?
Robert: I … might.
Donald: Huh.
Robert: You’re not upset, are you?
Donald: Not … well, not too upset. You could have told me though.
Robert: So what, you could fire me?
Donald: I’d never do that!
Robert: Pfft. Sure.
Donald: I wouldn’t! And anyway, I have a new boyfriend. Take that!
Robert: You do?
Donald: Yes. We’ve been seeing each other for weeks.
Robert: Then why are you still living on my couch?
Donald: Because I didn’t want to upset you!
Robert laughs.
Donald: What are you laughing about?
Robert: Just … nothing.
Donald: Huh. So you want to double date on Wednesday?
Robert: May as well. But you won’t be coming back to my place after.
Donald: Why not?
Robert: Don’t you think that would be a bit awkward?
Donald: Well I can’t go back to his place. He lives with his mother.
Robert: (slumps in his seat) There goes Valentine’s Day.
Next stop: Tuesday, February 13th, 5:00pm
Sunday, February 11th 1:00 1:20pm
Candice and Sandi
Candice: I can’t believe Madam called us in to work a double shift.
Sandi: We knew after the third movie came out the dungeon would get busier again.
Candice: (sighs) Yeah. Oh well. My favourite new client is coming in tonight.
Sandi: Justin?
Candice nods happily.
Sandi: Really like him, do you?
Candice: Kinda.
Sandi: I’m happy for you.
Candice: Thanks. So what’s going on with the preacher these days? Not working yet?
Sandi: Nope.
Candice: I’m surprised he hasn’t asked you to quit. Or have you brought him over to the dark side?
Sandi: (snorts) Whichever, I just wish he’d decide what he wants to do. I don’t mind being the breadwinner ‘n’ all, but he’s been miserable sitting around doing nothing ever since we got married.
Candice: Tell him to get involved with a group for wayward souls. God knows we get enough of those at work.
Sandi: The scared and the curious.
Candice: And now the Ana-wannabes.
Sandi: (rolls eyes) Yep. You may have something there.
Next stop: Monday, February 12th 5:00pm
Saturday, February 10th, 5:00pm
Misery and Gay
Gay: So whatcha doin’ tomorrow?
Misery: I don’t know. Sleepin’ I guess.
Gay: We should go out! Soak up some sunshine!
Misery: It’s supposed to snow.
Gay: Then we can go shopping! For boots!
Misery: I don’t have any money.
Gay: I’ll buy you some!
Misery: I take a size 18. (slides foot out from the seat in front) My shoes cost hundreds of dollars.
Gay: Then how about some new underwear? Nothing better than a new pair of panties!
Misery: Had a thong once. I lost it.
Gay: (frowns) You lost it? Wha … OH!
Misery smiles.
Next stop: Sunday, February 11th, 1:00pm
Note: Strong language
Friday, February 9th 9:00pm
Brandon and Jordan
Brandon: How goes it with Marissa?
Jordan: I’ve decided to get back together with her.
Brandon: Does that mean …?
Jordan: (nods) I’ve got it all planned out for Valentine’s Day. Hotel room, flowers, chocolate, champagne; the whole nine yards.
Brandon: Scruples be damned?
Jordan: I just can’t live without her, ya know?
Brandon: You know, she’s not the only girl out there.
Jordan: She is for me.
Brandon: Do you know if she’s a virgin too?
Jordan: She’s not.
Brandon snorts.
Jordan: What?
Brandon: I’m afraid she’s just using you. What if she has her way with you and then just forgets about you?
Jordan: What if I punch you in the head?
Brandon: Hey man, I’m just looking out for your best interests.
Jordan: Yeah, well, she’d never do that. She loves me.
Brandon: Not enough to stay with you if you don’t have sex with her.
Jordan: You’re an asshole, you know that?
Brandon: (turns to the window, mumbling) Yeah, the asshole who’ll be here to pick up the pieces.
Next stop: Saturday, February 10th, 5:00pm
Thursday, February 8th, 7:00pm
Bella and Edgar (and Edward)
Edgar: It’s going to be great meeting your parents. Do you really think they’ll like me?
Bella: What’s not to like? You were the captain of the football team, which my dad is going to love.
Edgar: That was a couple of years ago though.
Bella: And now you’re an electrical engineer. (takes his arm and hugs it) Brains and strength.
Edgar: And your mom?
Bella: You know how to cook. She’ll be very impressed. (kisses him on the cheek)
Edgar: Thanks. I feel bett …
Edward: (popping up in the seat behind) Who’s this, Bella?
Bella: (rolling her eyes) He’s my boyfriend. What’s it to you?
Edward: He’s not meant for you. I am.
Bella: You’re crazy.
Edward: Crazy in love with you.
Edgar: (turns) Step aside, man.
Edward: I will not! Bella is the love of my life! My soulmate! There can only be one for h …
Edgar: (punches him in the nose) I said, step aside. The lady wants nothing to do with you.
Edward: (holding his nose and heading for the door) I’ll get you for this! You have no idea what it’s like to feel the wrath of a vampire! (gets off the bus)
Edgar: Do you think your friend Drommen will be happy with that little performance?
Bella: (smiling) Very. You really should come and meet my parents. For real.
Edgar: Don’t you think we should go out together first?
Bella: Is that an invitation?
Edgar: (smiles) Valentine’s is soon …
Bella: (smiles widely) Sounds like a date.
Next stop: Friday, February 9th, 9:00pm
Wednesday, February 7th, 7:00pm
Quinn and Yvonne
Quinn: Now that you’ve been a couple of days without morning sickness, where do you want to eat on Saturday night?
Yvonne: I’d really like a steak … if that’s what you want.
Quinn: Sure. (smiles and takes her hand) I think we’re going to be okay, don’t you?
Yvonne: Yeah. Especially now my mother’s out of the hospital. I think the psychiatrist was a good idea. Thanks for arranging it.
Quinn: Maybe when she sees the baby she’ll accept him for what he is, and not just a sign she’s getting old.
Yvonne: I hope so.
Quinn: You’re sure you want to go to this shop we’re going to? With the baby and all?
Yvonne: I think so. It’ll be nice to have all the equipment for after the movie Friday night. You’ll be taking notes, right?
Quinn: Of course. (reaches into pocket) Oh, here. (hands her a paper) I got my collar size.
Yvonne: (smiles and takes the paper) Thank you Mr. Grey.
Quinn: My pleasure, Mrs. Grey.
Next stop: Thursday, February 8th, 7:00pm
Tuesday, February 6th, 3:00 2:00pm
Maurice and Stuart
(Stuart sits at the window. Maurice takes the seat beside him.)
Maurice: Hey! You’re early for once.
Stuart: Yep. Gotta go buy a new rug before work.
Maurice: Cat peed on it one too many times?
Stuart: Nope. Dog bled all over it.
Maurice: You’ve got a dog now?
Stuart: Not only that. You remember the old lady whose dog I accidentally killed?
Maurice: The one whose next dog ran away, and who’s deathly allergic to cats?
Stuart: That’s right. She’s living with me now too.
Maurice: But … why? And how is she living with you if you’ve got a cat?
Stuart: As for why, she spent so long in the hospital that she missed paying her rent and got kicked out. So I offered to take her in.
Maurice: And the cat?
Stuart: Shaved it.
Maurice: The cat mustn’t have enjoyed that.
Stuart: Nope. It looks like a giant bald squirrel.
Maurice: So what happened to the dog? You said it bled all over your rug.
Stuart: Well yeah. The dog took one look at the cat after we shaved it and thought it was a squirrel. Dog tried to eat the cat, cat scratched the dog.
Maurice: Wow. That must have been one hell of a scratch to make the dog bleed like that.
Stuart: Well, yeah. Because we shaved the dog too.
Maurice: The old lady’s not allergic to dogs though. She had one before.
Stuart: Nope. I am.
Maurice: The two of you are a match made in heaven.
Next stop: Wednesday, February 7th, 7:00pm
Monday, February 5th, 5:00pm
Alfred and Hester
Hester: When does the urologist want you to go back for the test?
Alfred: How should I know?
Hester: The receptionist gave you the little card, didn’t she?
Alfred digs into his coat pocket and pulls out an appointment card.
Hester: Give it to me then. (adjusts glasses) It’s in two weeks. A “flow test.” What the hell is one of them then?
Alfred: I don’t know. Maybe they want to see if I do better at getting it up with your sister.
Next stop: Tuesday, February 6th, 3:00pm
Sunday, February 4th, 3:00am
Moosh and Hip
Moosh: Where are we going again?
Hip: Nowhere.
Moosh: In other words, we’re just going around in circles.
Hip: It’s an experiment.
Moosh: To see how long it takes to get kicked off the bus?
Hip: Exactly.
Moosh: And what if we get kicked off when we’re miles away from home?
Hip: (shrugs) We’ll wait and catch the next bus.
Moosh: But you know it’s going to be the same bus driver. He’s not going to let us back on again.
Hip: Oh. I didn’t think of that. We’ll just have to walk home then.
Moosh: We can’t walk. You’re broken.
Hip: You’ve got crutches.
Moosh: They’re not for walking miles with.
Hip: …
Moosh: (rolls eyes) That’s what I get for having hip for brains.
Next stop: Monday, February 5th, 5:00pm
This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click here to join in! https://lindaghill.com/2018/02/02/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-feb-3-18/
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