Life in progress

Category Archives: fiction


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151. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, January 29th, 5:00pm
Phil (and Sherman)

 

Phil sits at the window. Sherman takes the seat beside him.

Phil: (smiling) Hey there!

Sherman: Hi.

Phil: I didn’t know you took the bus.

Sherman: I take the bus every day. It’s environmentally friendly.

Phil: Ha! You’re such a kidder. So I’m finally getting my new car this week.

Sherman: Why do you need a car? You have the bus.

Phil: Ugh, you have to be joking. I can’t stand the bus.

Sherman: And I can’t stand people who drive cars when they can take the bus instead. The bus is already running.

Phil: Wait. You’re not Mike from accounting, are you.

Sherman: I certainly am not!

Phil turns to the window, ignoring Sherman’s ongoing lecture.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, January 30th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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150. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, January 28th, 10:00am
Terry and Shannon

 

Terry: I think I might be depressed.

Shannon: What makes you think that?

Terry: I dunno. I don’t want to do anything anymore.

Shannon: You’re just upset because you lost the Internet at home.

Terry: And with it all my friends.

Shannon: You’ve still got me.

Terry: Yeah, but you’re real.

Shannon: Wh … what does that mean?

Terry: You know. I can only talk to you when you’re not busy. Or sleeping. I can talk to people on the Internet 24/7.

Shannon: They’re real people too …

Terry: (frowns) They can’t be. They never sleep.

Shannon: Of course they sleep. They’re just in different time zones.

Terry: Are you sure?

Shannon: Of course I am. Just look it up on the Intern … (slaps her hand over her mouth)

Terry: (stares for a moment and then turns away, mumbling) I’m so depressed.

 

Next stop: Monday, January 29th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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149. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, January 27th, 9:00pm
Kyra (and Edward)

 

Kyra sits by the window, hugging herself. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Edward: You look cold.

Kyra: It’s frickin’ cold out there.

Edward: (shrugs) Depends.

Kyra: (snorts) On what?

Edward: I’m a vampire. (smiles, showing his fake fangs) We undead don’t get cold.

Kyra: You’re kidding, right?

Edward: No.

Kyra: (closing her eyes and mumbling) Go away. Go away. Go away.

Edward: I can understand why you want me to go away. I’m a predator. You’re, potentially, my prey. But I’ll tell you now, I’m not interested.

Kyra: (opens her eyes) Why not? What’s wrong with me?

Edward: You’re not my Bella.

Kyra: You’re on drugs, aren’t you.

Edward: (smiling) Love is my only drug.

Kyra: (rocking, hugging herself) One of us needs to get off the cheap drugs, and it’d better not be me.

 

Next stop: Sunday, January 28th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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148. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, January 26th, 4:00pm
Michael (and Ernest)

 

Michael sits at the window, reading an e-book on his tablet. Ernest takes the seat beside him.

Ernest: Excuse me.

Michael: (without looking up) Yep.

Ernest: I’m from Windows, and I have reason to believe you have a virus on your computer.

Michael: (without looking up) I don’t have a virus.

Ernest: Would you mind turning your computer on?

Michael: (lifts the tablet an inch off his lap) It is on.

Ernest: Now go to the start menu …

Michael: (looks at him) I. Don’t. Have. A. Virus. Can I see your credentials?

Ernest: Er … I left them at the office.

Michael: And where would the office be?

Ernest makes a run for the door.

 

Next stop: Saturday, January 27th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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147. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, January 25th, 5:00pm
Phil (and Zoey)

 

Phil sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Phil: Cold out.

Zoey: It’s warm in the bus.

Phil: I don’t like the bus.

Zoey: Why are you on it?

Phil: I’m waiting for my new car to be ready. My old one died.

Zoey: Yeah? What’d it die of?

Phil: Old age.

Zoey: Huh.

Phil: Do you work downtown?

Zoey: Nah. I go to school.

Phil: Oh really? What are you taking?

Zoey: Sociology.

Phil: Really.

Zoey: Yeah. I’m doing a thesis on how people talk to each other when they’re on public transportation.

Phil: Oh. Well I’m probably the last person you want to talk to then.

Zoey: Why’s that?

Phil: Because I don’t like to talk to people on the bus. I wish I wasn’t even on the bus.

Zoey takes notes.

 

Next stop: Friday, January 26th, 4:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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146. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, January 24th, 5:00pm
Drommen (and Phil)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside him.

Phil: (muttering) Just a week. It’s just a week.

Drommen: Did you say something?

Phil: Oh, no. I mean, yeah. I get my new car in a week.

Drommen: That’s nice.

Phil: Yeah, I hate taking the bus.

Drommen: Ah.

Phil: Don’t you hate the bus?

Drommen: Heh. No. I come on the bus as often as I can.

Phil: Really?

Drommen: Sometimes even when I’m not going anywhere.

Phil: Are you nuts?

Drommen: Some might think I’m all nuts.

Phil raises his eyebrows.

Drommen: If you don’t like it, why don’t you get off?

Phil: Why are YOU such a jerk?

Drommen: It’s what I do.

 

Next stop: Thursday, January 25th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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145. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, January 23rd, 7:00pm
Candice (and Justin)

 

Candice sits at the window. Justin takes the seat beside her.

Justin: Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?

Candice: Maybe.

Justin: Yeah, from that place there.

Candice: I go a lot of places.

Justin: Yeah, it’s … (puts his hands over his face) Ugh. I can’t do this anymore.

Candice: Do what?

Justin: I’m working for this guy who uses me to swindle money out of women. I just … can’t. Sure, they get a lot of pleasure out of it by the time I’m through with them. But it’s just not fair.

Candice: (pats his knee) There, there. I understand.

Justin: You do?

Candice: I kind of do the same thing.

Justin: (speaks an octave higher) You do?

Candice: (nods) Mmhm.

Justin: Huh.

Candice: Listen, just how bad do you feel about what you’ve done?

Justin: Pretty bad.

Candice: Bad enough that you’d like to be punished?

Justin: (smiles shyly) Kinda.

Candice: (grins) In that case, have I got a treat for you.

 

Next stop: Wednesday, January 24th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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144. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Adult theme

Monday, January 22nd, 3:00pm
Drommen (and Holly)

 

Drommen sits at the window. A light shines on him from above and he stands and addresses the audience.

Drommen: Hello. (steps into the aisle, resting a hand on the back of the seat) What if none of this is real. What if I am just the fantasy of a writer. An author in a crisis of identity. What would the outcome be.

Drommen takes a seat and stares out the window as the overhead light dims. Holly approaches.

Holly: Hey! How are you? Long time no see!

Drommen: (looks up and smiles) Well, hi there. Have a seat.

Holly: (sits) How have you been?

Drommen: Oh, not bad. My sister Francine moved in with me, but apart from that nothing much is new. How about you?

Holly: Everything’s great! The baby is due in a few months. No sign of Mr. Fangs or my ex, so things are fantastic. And I’ve got you to thank for it. (nudges him) So what was it you wanted to show me last time?

Drommen: (frowns) I was going to ask you if you’d mind if I masturbate.

Holly: (smiles) Go ahead! I’d love to watch.

Drommen: But now I’m a little reluctant.

Holly: Why is that?

Drommen: Well you see, I’ve got all these other people watching now, and I’m not sure I can do it.

Holly: Performance anxiety?

Drommen: Precisely.

Holly freezes. A light shines from above and Drommen stands and addresses the audience.

Drommen: And there you have it. I’m Jake Drommen, and this is the Bus Stop Zone.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, January 23rd, 7:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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143. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Sunday, January 21st, 12:01am
Lacey and Edward (and Bella and Alice)

 

Edward: (standing) Bella! Are you all right?

Bella: (stumbling down the aisle with Alice behind her) Oh fuck, not you again.

Lacey: (standing to look at Edward) Hey, I know you. You’re the guy Andrea’s in love with. I recognize your fake fangs.

Alice: (slides into the seat across the aisle, beside Bella. To Edward:) You. Are such. A slut.

Edward: I am not. I love you, Bella.

Lacey: That’s what you said to my friend on New Year’s Eve.

Bella: What about that other girl? You know, that skank you were with before?

Edward: Lily is NOT a skank. She’s a nice vampire.

Alice: (snarling) If I wa’n’t so drunk, I’d fuck you up myself.

Edward: Bella, they mean nothing to me. It’s you I love. You’re my soulmate.

Lacey: (steps past him) You make me sick.

Edward: Tell Andrea I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt her.

Lacey: (mumbling) She might hurt you. (walks to the back of the bus)

Edward: Bella, you must let me take you home. You can’t make it alone.

Alice: She’s not alone. She’s got me, asshole.

Edward: You’re in no shape to take care of my mate for life.

Bella: (bursts out laughing) Mate for life? GET a fucking life!

Edward: I can’t have a life. I’ve been undead for 50 years.

Alice: (to Bella) Does that mean we can’t kill him?

Bella: I think so. Oh! Oh! Where’s my garlic?

Both roll in their seats laughing. Edward exits the bus, dejected.

 

Next stop: Monday, September 3rd, 3:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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142. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, January 20th, 11:58pm
Lacey (and Edward) (and Bella)

 

Lacey sits at the window. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Edward: (checks watch) I’m gonna wait ’til the midnight hour.

Lacey: Beg pardon?

Edward: That’s when my love comes tumbling down.

Lacey: (shakes her head) What?

Edward: I’m gonna wait ’til the midnight hour.

Lacey snorts and turns her back to the window.

The bus stops and Bella gets on. Drunk, she trips up the stairs.

Edward: (checks watch and shows it to Lacey) See?

 

Next stop: Sunday, January 21st, 12:01am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.