Edward: I couldn’t leave him with my Bella. They were getting too friendly. And anyway, she’s not my girlfriend. She’s just a psycho.
Lily: So now you get rid of the psycho AND you still have Bella locked up in my basement. What’s in it for me?
Edward: (thinks a moment) My undying gratitude?
Lily:(stares at him) Not good enough.
Edward: I did distract the cops that time. Doesn’t that count for anything?
Lily: No. You had way too much fun with it. (crosses arms and slouches) You get all the fun. All I get is the whiny, “You’ve got to let me go!” and, “I’ll do anything, just let me go!” all day while I’m trying to get my beauty rest.
Edward: (sits up straight) Anything? She said she’ll do anything?
Lily:(tiredly) Yeah.
Edward: Hmmm …
Lily: What are you thinking?
Edward:(hesitantly) Maybe she doesn’t really want to be with me.
Lily: No! You think?
Edward: Are you being sarcastic?
Lily: No! (rolls eyes)
Edward: Do you think we should let her go?
Lily: You’ll have to wipe out her memory first. You can do that though, right?
Edward hesitates, his eyes shifting back and forth.
Drew sits at the window. Cletis takes the seat beside him.
Drew: I think I’ve finally figured out why they call them “TV dinners.”
Cletis: Oh yeah?
Drew: Yes. The philosophy of having something so simple as to be able to cook it without any preparation ahead of time, allows one to watch television whilst awaiting a delicious meal with minimal effort.
Cletis: Huh. I thought it was ’cause when you stick ’em in the microwave you can watch them go around and around, just like you was watchin’ TV.
Andrea sits at the window. Lacey takes the seat beside her.
Lacey: Where …
Andrea:(holds finger up) Wait! Before you say anything I’ve, like, got to tell you about this weird friggin’ dream I had last night.
Lacey: Oh yeah?
Andrea: Yeah. I dreamt I was locked in a basement for a week and while I was there? I was with this, like, creepy gorgeous guy who only knew four words. We really hit it off though. By the time I woke up, I was in love. But the weirdest part? I got all these bite marks on my neck. Like, I don’t know where the hell they came from.
Lacey: A week you say?
Andrea: Yeah.
Lacey: Is that why you haven’t been at work for a week?
Andrea:(sits up straight) I haven’t what now?
Lacey: You’ve been totally missing for an entire week.
Andrea: No way! So it wasn’t a dream? (stands up) Excuse me.
Lacey: Where are you going? Harold’s going to be pissed if you miss any more work.
Andrea: Harold shmarold. I gotta find me some o’ my Honey Darkness!
Saturday, July 28th, 5:00pm
Ethyl (and Penny and Pooch)
Ethyl sits at the window. Penny and Pooch take the seat beside her.
Ethyl: What’s that you have in your purse? A rat?
Penny: No, this is Pooch. Isn’t she cute? (makes baby talk at dog)
Ethyl: Looks like a scraggly little rodent to me.
Penny: (moves purse as far away from Ethyl as possible) Don’t say that to Pooch! You’ll give her a complex!
Ethyl: Are you nuts? Do you have any idea how stupid you sound? It’s a dog. It doesn’t understand me. (to Pooch) You’re ugly and your mistress is an indescribable idiot.
Penny stands and walks away, apologizing to Pooch as she goes.
Ethyl:(calling after her) And stop dressing your rat in colours that match yours! It makes you look like your rat’s raccoon bitch!
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