Life in progress

Tag Archives: Edward


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60. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, October 30th, 6:00pm
Drommen (and Edward)

 

Drommen sits by the window. He gestures to Edward to sit beside him.

Edward: What do you want?

Drommen: Hey, Sparkles. I have something that you don’t have.

Edward: You’ve got nothing I want!

Drommen: I bet I do.

Edward: You can’t possibly. I have everything I need. Tomorrow night is my night! I will roam the neighbourhoods with my own kind, take from virgins …

Drommen: You’re going to steal candy from little kids?

Edward hisses through plastic fangs.

Drommen: Okay, I get it. But I’ve still got something you don’t have.

Edward: (snorts) I don’t think so.

Drommen reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lunch bag with a pair of panties in it.

Edward: Whose are they?

Drommen: Bella’s. She gave them to me.

Edward: (eyes wide with shock) She did not!!

Drommen: She did. Here (he opens the bag a little) smell them.

Edward sticks in his nose, takes a big whiff, and sneezes, causing his teeth to shoot down the aisle.

Edward: PEPPER!

Drommen: (laughing) Who’s the darkness now?

Edward: CURSE YOU!! (stands) I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS, SWINE!!

Edward retrieves his teeth and gets off the bus.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, October 31st, 10:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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56. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, October 26th, 5:00pm
Drommen (and Holly)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Holly takes the seat beside him.

Drommen: Hi.

Holly: Hi.

Drommen: Do you mind if I … Are you crying?

Holly: (wipes her cheek) No.

Drommen: What’s wrong?

Holly: Oh God, my life’s such a mess. First I get pregnant with this guy who disappears, and now my husband’s disappeared and I’m going to get thrown out of my place.

Drommen: That’s terrible.

Holly: And on top of all that, I’ve got this other guy hanging around my house with these fake … (points at her mouth) teeth … things … and I’m pretty sure he was the one who made my husband disappear.

Drommen: Did you call the cops?

Holly: No, because I asked him to get rid of the other guy … my boyfriend … Wait, are you a cop?

Drommen: (snickers) No.

Holly: (sighs in relief) Thank God.

Drommen: So, let me get this straight. You asked the guy with the plastic fangs to get rid of your boyfriend, but he screwed up and now your husband is missing instead?

Holly: Right.

Drommen stares out the window.

Holly: I don’t know why I told you all this. I guess it’s easier to talk to a stranger.

Drommen: (turns back to her) No, it’s fine. I understand. I look to strangers for help all the time. Listen, I think I might be able to help you. (reaches into his pocket) Take this.

Holly: (looks down at a wad of twenty dollar bills he handed her) I can’t …

Drommen: Yes you can. It’s for your rent. And next time I see that little prick with the teeth …

Holly: What are you going to do?

Drommen: It’s probably best I don’t say. (reaches into his pocket again) Wait, can I see that wad again?

Holly holds the stack of money out to him.

Drommen: (replaces the topmost $20 with another) Wrong one.

Holly: What … why?

Drommen: (holds up bill gingerly) This one’s a little gooey.

 

Next stop: Friday, October 27th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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55. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, October 25th, 7:00pm
Robert and Donald

 

Robert: So, the guy jumped you when you got off the bus. And it was completely unprovoked?

Donald: Totally. But he didn’t jump me as soon as I got off. He followed me for a while.

Robert: And when he jumped you he tried to …

Donald: … bite my neck. Yeah. (grabs the collar of his jacket and tries to look at it) I think I’ve still got sparkles on my collar.

Robert: (takes a close look) Hm … Wouldn’t want your wife to see that. She might think you’re having an affair with a vampire. (smiles widely)

Donald: (frowns) Yeah.

Robert: Did he leave any scars?

Donald: Only a few emotional ones. He kept telling me he’s been watching me sleep and calling me Bella.

Robert: Creepy. So, d’you want to go have a drink before we go back to my place? I can help you with those emotional scars.

Donald: I could use a drink.

Robert: And then …

Donald: Just don’t call me Bella.

 

Next stop: Thursday, October 26th, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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44. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, October 14th, 8:00pm
Edward (and The Darkness)

 

Edward sits at the window. The Darkness takes the seat beside him.

Edward: (sniffs and turns to The Darkness) Who the hell are you?

The Darkness: I am The Darkness

Edward: No you’re not. I am the darkness.

The Darkness: I am The Darkness.

Edward: No, I am the darkness.

The Darkness: I AM THE DARKNESS!!

Edward: (hisses, showing plastic fangs) I AM THE DARKNESS!!

Both get kicked off the bus.

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 15th, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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37. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, October 7th, 9:00pm
Holly (and Edward)

 

Holly sits at the window, staring out. Edward takes the seat beside her.

Edward: Hi.

Holly starts crying.

Edward: Are you okay?

Holly: (sobbing) My boyfriend left me!

Edward: That bastard!

Holly: I know! And I’m pregnant! And my husband is going to kill me!

Edward: (raises an eyebrow dramatically) Your husband?

Holly: Yes! What am I going to do? My husband is going to know it’s not his!

Edward: I can take him out.

Holly: (wipes her eyes and takes her first good look at him) What do you mean, “take him out”? Who the hell are you?

Edward: I’m Edward. I mean take care of him. You know … (hisses, showing his plastic fangs)

Holly frowns and stares at him silently.

Edward: Is your husband home now?

Holly: (stares for a moment longer, considering) Actually there’s this guy named Joel…

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 8th, 2:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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31. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, October 1st, 9:00am
Michael (and Joanna)

 

Michael sits by the window, reading the newspaper. Joanna sits beside him.

Joanna: Hi.

Michael: (rolls eyes but doesn’t look up) Hi.

Joanna: What’s that you’re reading?

Michael: The paper.

Joanna: What’s going on?

Michael: (sighs) Apparently some guy went into all the discos in town last night and broke the mirror balls.

Joanna: I didn’t know there were any discos in town.

Michael: Neither did I. (he turns to her) Hey, do you read the paper?

Joanna: Sometimes, why?

Michael: (smiles) I’ve been waiting for someone to come along who’d just sit and, you know, read.

Joanna: (grins) I can read.

Michael hands her a section of his paper.

Joanna commences to read out loud.

Michael closes his section of the paper and stares out the window.

 

Next stop: Monday, October 2nd, 6:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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30. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Saturday, September 30th, 8:00pm
Edward and Bella

 

Edward: I’m so glad you agreed to come out with me.

Bella: (shrugs) You sounded so normal enough on the phone. (mumbles) And I had nothing better to do.

Edward: What?

Bella: Nothing. So where are we going again?

Edward: A special place downtown.

Bella: What’s so special about it?

Edward: (smiles) You’ll see.

Bella: (stares at him) You’re going to take those fake fangs out though, right?

Edward: What fake fangs?

Bella: (sighs) Whatever.

Bella opens her purse and takes a compact out.

Edward: (snatches it out of her hand) This doesn’t have a mirror in it, does it?

Bella: (glares at him) Yeah, why?

Edward: Don’t open it. (he sniffs) Is that garlic I smell on your breath?

Bella: (gasps) How dare you?

Edward: How dare YOU!?

Bella: (stands and grabs her compact) That’s it, I’m leaving.

Edward: Wait! You can’t!

Bella: And for God’s sake, wipe the sparkle off your face. You look like you belong in a disco.

Bella walks down the aisle toward the door. Edward gets up to follow her.

Edward: That’s where I was taking you! A disco!

Bella: (turns) Discos have mirror balls, freak!

Edward stands in the aisle, confused, as Bella gets off the bus.

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 1st, 9:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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23. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Saturday, September 23rd, 9:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward and Drommen)

 

Alice: Oh shit, there’s sparkles again. He’s getting on the bus.

Bella: Pretend you don’t see him.

Alice: So yeah, did you see that guy standing at the bar last night?

Bella: Oh yeah, the one with the…

Edward: (standing beside them in the aisle) I told you.

Bella: Told me what?

Edward: That I know where you live.

Bella: Then why are you following me?

Edward: Because I love you Bella. And I want to make you like me. (hesitates) I mean, a vampire. Not like me, because I know you love me alre…

Drommen: (sitting behind them, leans forward to speak to the girls) Is this man bothering you?

Bella and Alice together: Yes!

Drommen: (to Edward) I suggest you go and sit at the back of the bus.

Edward: Mind your own business. I’m here for Bella.

Drommen: It would seem that Bella isn’t here for you.

Bella and Alice start to get up.

Drommen: (to the girls) Would you like me to escort you home?

Bella: (nods) That would be nice, thanks.

Drommen: No problem. (stands up. To Edward:) Sit.

Edward sits and watches the three get off the bus.

 

Next stop: Sunday, September 24th, 10:00am

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.


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22. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Friday, September 22nd, 10:00pm
Edward (and Bella and Alice)

 

Edward sits at the window. Bella takes the seat beside him and faces Alice across the aisle.

Bella: (to Alice) Are you sure I look okay?

Alice: Bella, you look fine!

Bella: Cuz I’ve heard there are some really hot guys that go to this club.

Edward: You look wonderful.

Bella: (turns, noticing him for the first time) Who asked you?

Edward: No one. But you were going to.

Bella: (turns to Alice and whispers) What the fuck? (laughs) He’s wearing glitter.

Edward: I can hear you, you know. I have extra-sensitive hearing.

Bella: (to Edward) Look, creep …

Edward: I’m a vampire.

Bella bursts with laughter.

Edward: (seriously) How else would I know your name is Bella? (raises eyebrows)

Alice: Uh, because I said her name?

Edward bares a set of plastic teeth.

Bella: (to Edward, still laughing) Are you for real?

Edward: You’ll see tonight!

Bella and Alice get up and stagger, laughing, to the exit.

Edward: (yelling after them) I know where you live!

 

Next stop: Saturday, September 23rd, 9:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.