Thursday, July 12th, 5:00pm
Miriam, and Ursula
Miriam: I’ve GOT to tell you about this place I stayed on the weekend.
Ursula: Not good?
Miriam: Oh the place wasn’t bad. It was the shower. The water pressure! Way too much. You want the good news first or the bad news?
Ursula: Give me the bad news.
Miriam: (takes off her hat) It uprooted half the hair on my head.
Ursula: No! What’s the good news?
Miriam: It ironed out my wrinkles for about two hours.
Next stop: Friday, July 13th, 7:00pm
Wednesday, July 11th, 5:00pm
Devin and Dale
Devin: So I was late for work this morning.
Dale: Oh yeah? How come?
Devin: I forgot to turn the dishwasher off before I left the apartment, so I had to turn around and go back.
Dale: Doesn’t your dishwasher turn itself off?
Devin: No. If he runs out of dishes at our place he goes to the neighbour’s.
Dale: Errr …
Devin: My husband’s a little compulsive that way.
Dale: So how do you turn him off?
Devin: Hand him the vacuum. He’ll still be doing it when I get home tonight.
Dale: You must have a very clean apartment.
Devin: (sighs) Yeah. Especially if I don’t watch him on garbage day.
Next stop: Thursday, July 12th, 5:00pm
Tuesday, July 10th, 5:00pm
Jocelyn and Jody
Jody: Mommy?
Jocelyn: (tiredly) Yes?
Jody: Can I be a rocket when I grow up?
Jocelyn: No, you can not be a rocket when you grow up.
Jody: Why not?
Jocelyn: Because a rocket is a thing, and you are not a thing. You’re a person.
Jody: But that new kid Jackie said his dad says he’s gonna send Jackie’s mom to the moon. How can Jackie’s mom go to the moon if she’s not a rocket?
Jocelyn: (thinks for a moment) Jackie needs to keep his mouth shut.
Jody: Jackie said his dad says that too.
Jocelyn: Does your daycare worker know?
Jody: (shrugs) Prolly. Jackie’s mom is my new daycare worker. She doesn’t look like a rocket. But Sammy says her tits look like torpedoes.
Jocelyn: Jody!
Jody: Well that’s what Sammy says.
Jocelyn: I think we need to look for another daycare.
Next stop: Wednesday, July 11th, 5:00pm
Monday, July 9th, 5:00pm
Waylon and Zoey
Waylon sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.
Waylon: Hey, do you know your way around this town?
Zoey: Pretty much. I’ve lived here most of my life.
Waylon: I need directions. I’ve been every way but upwards, and I can’t seem to find any good restaurants.
Zoey: Oh, you’re going to wrong way. You need to get on the southbound bus.
Waylon: Great. I’ll do that on the morrow. I’ve already got breakfast lined up.
Zoey: So you’ll be looking for lunch then?
Waylon: Yep, and thanks to you, in all the right places.
Next stop: Tuesday, July 10th, 5:00pm
Sunday, July 8th, 11:00am
Drommen and Phillipa
Phillipa: Why are we on the bus again?
Drommen: We’re going for a coffee.
Phillipa: I told you, I have coffee at home.
Drommen: Oh right.
Phillipa: You’re obsessing over that girl again, aren’t you?
Drommen: I’m not obsessing. I’m worried about her. I want to keep an eye on her.
Phillipa: (takes his hand) You can’t save the world, Jake.
Drommen: Maybe I can save my little part of it.
Phillipa: And then what? You go back to corrupting them with your little fetish?
Drommen shrugs.
Phillipa: Bring your little fetish home to me. She’s not on the bus today.
Drommen: I’ll come back to your place later.
Phillipa: I won’t be there later.
Drommen: Tomorrow then? Next weekend?
Phillipa: Now. Or you take your chances.
Drommen: I’ll take my chances.
Phillipa gets off the bus.
Next stop: Monday, July 9th, 5:00pm
Saturday, July 7th, 9:00pm
Bella and Alice (and Edward)
Bella: I know he’s gonna be there tonight. I just know it.
Edward: (pops up in the seat behind them, making them jump) You mean me? I’m here.
Bella: No, I don’t mean you. And if you do that again, I swear…
Edward: Don’t swear, Bella. It doesn’t become you.
Alice: If you have to know, she means a guy that…
Bella: (interrupts) I’m in love with. And he’s in love with me. So go blow it out your ear.
Edward: Blow what out my ear? (shakes head) I’m here to give you one last chance, Bella. Be with me. You know you want to.
Bella: As much as I’m tempted I think I’ll pass. What, you got other options?
Edward: I’m considering leaving town.
Bella: No!
Edward: You’re sad. I’m sorry. All you have to do is agree to marry me, and I’ll take you with me.
Bella: I’ll survive.
Alice: Why the change of plans? As if I really want to know.
Edward: There’s a woman stalking me. I believe she means to try to kill me.
Alice: (under her breath) Well there’s an idea.
Edward: She approached me last night and pretended to be you, my Bella. You but changed to be like me. A vampire. I could smell her a mile off.
Bella: You know, you’re kind of ripe yourself.
Edward: So what do you say, Bella? Will you come with me? It’s really not safe here.
Bella: I’ll be fine. Go without me.
Edward: Parting is such sweet sorrow. Good-bye then my love.
Edward stands and waits for the next bus stop.
Alice: Good riddance.
Edward stares at Bella.
Bella: You’re not going to hypnotize me into going with you.
Alice: (to Edward) Seriously?
Edward: Fine then! (gets off the bus)
Bella: (reaches out toward the door) Oh no! He’s really gone!
Bella and Alice look at each other and crack up laughing.
Next stop: Sunday, July 8th, 11:00am
Note: Strong language.
Friday, July 6th, 7:00pm
Andrea (and Drommen)
Andrea sits at the window. Drommen takes the seat beside her.
Drommen: Hey. You changed your hair.
Andrea: Yep. I went blonde.
Drommen: What’s the occasion?
Andrea: I’m hoping to meet Edward tonight. Do you think he’ll like it?
Drommen: You’re not serious. The guy’s a nutcase.
Andrea: (frowns) He’s just, like, a bit misguided.
Drommen: And you’re going to guide him in the right direction?
Andrea: Fuck yeah.
Drommen: Well I’ll give you one thing: you’ve got something in common. You’re both persistent.
Andrea: (smiles, showing a mouthful of fake fangs) That’s not all.
Next stop: Saturday, July 7th, 9:00pm
Thursday, July 5th, 5:00pm
Genie and Ross
Genie: I found a peanut.
Ross: Oh yeah? When was this?
Genie: Last night. It was rotten.
Ross: Huh.
Genie: But I ate it anyway.
Ross: Why’d you do that?
Genie: (shrugs) So I got a stomach ache. I should probably see a doctor.
Ross: Well, I doubt it’ll kill you.
Genie: Right? What are the chances?
Next stop: Friday, July 6th, 7:00pm
Wednesday, July 4th, 5:00pm
Cary (and DeeDee)
Cary sits at the window. DeeDee takes the seat beside him.
DeeDee: Oh my God, I don’t believe it.
Cary: What?
DeeDee: It’s you! Can I get your autograph?
Cary: Whatever for?
DeeDee: You’re the guy!
Cary: What guy?
DeeDee: The guy who wrote that book. You know the one … that book!
Cary: I didn’t think anyone had read my book. (smiles) Do you have something I can write on?
DeeDee: Yeah! (searches through her purse and comes out with a pen and paper) Sign it to DeeDee please.
Cary signs her paper. DeeDee looks at the signature.
DeeDee: Thank you so much, Mr. …
Cary: Thomson. Cary Thomson.
DeeDee: (stares, confused) Wait, what book did you write?
Cary: The Strange Disappearance of the Hippopotamus on the Night of All Hallows Eve.
DeeDee: Not that other one? About the War of 1812?
Cary: Sadly, no.
DeeDee: Never mind then. (crumples up paper)
Cary turns to the window, dejected.
Next stop: Thursday, July 5th, 5:00pm
Tuesday, July 3rd, 5:00pm
Morag (and Zoey)
Morag sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside her.
Morag: (pulls headphones out of her ears) Man, that was a good book.
Zoey: Cool. Which one were you listening to?
Morag: Oh, I was listening to music.
Zoey stares at her.
Morag: I was just reading the last Harry Potter book to myself. I have them all memorized.
Zoey: Wow. You must have read them a lot of times.
Morag: Oh yeah. Did you know Dumbledore killed Snape in the last book?
Zoey: No …
Morag: Oh, I’m sorry. I should have said “spoiler alert.”
Zoey: But even if it were true, it’s not in the last book.
Morag: (frowns) Look, lady, do you have the books memorized?
Zoey: No, but …
Morag: I rest my case.
Next stop: Wednesday, July 4th, 5:00pm
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