Monday, April 16th, 5:00pm
Farmer Brown (and Phil)
Farmer Brown sits at the window. Phil takes the seat beside him.
Phil:(sighs) Oh what a relief.
Farmer Brown: What would that be, son?
Phil: (smiles) I get my car back tomorrow.
Farmer Brown: (smiles back) Nothing quite like having your own vehicle, is there?
Phil: No sir, there’s not. It’s finally out of the shop after my accident, and I’m on the mend too.
Farmer Brown: And the open road is ahead of you.
Phil: Right you are. You know, it’s refreshing to find someone on the bus who really “gets it.” Someone sane for a change.
Farmer Brown: (nods, then takes phone out of his pocket) Excuse me, I have to get this.
Phil: You go ahead.
Farmer Brown: (into his phone) Hello? No. You’re kidding. Again? (frowns) Okay, put her on.
Farmer Brown glances at Phil and rolls his eyes.
Farmer Brown:(into his phone) Moo. Moo moo moo moo. Moomoomoo. Okay. (waits) Yeah, I told her. She promised not to do it again. Okay, see you soon. (hangs up and puts his phone back in his pocket. To Phil:) Damned sheep got out of the barn again.
Michael sits at the window reading the newspaper. Joanna takes the seat beside him.
Michael: This is incredible.
Joanna: What is?
Michael: This. (shows her a picture in the newspaper) Did you hear about it?
Joanna: (grimaces) What the hell is that even a picture of?
Michael:(points) It’s a guy.
Joanna: In a tree? What, is he stuck?
Michael: Yeah. He was found hanging from a limb, and … Here, I’ll just read it: “On Sunday morning, an east-end resident called police when she heard loud shrieking noises coming from her back yard shortly after she let her dog out. Before the police arrived, she snapped a picture of a man hanging from her century old oak, pinned there by his collar by a short wooden stake. It wasn’t until police arrived, however, that she found the man’s biggest complaint wasn’t the hanging, but the fact that he had lost his plastic vampire fangs. The dog was later discovered wearing an extra-toothy grin.”
Saturday, March 17th, 10:00am
Drommen (and Patrick)
Drommen sits at the window. Patrick takes the seat beside him.
Drommen: Hi.
Patrick: How are ye?
Drommen: Not bad. What’s up with you?
Patrick: Oh, just a little under the weather.
Drommen: But … the face paint. What’s that all about?
Patrick: Why, I’m a leprechaun don’ ye know.
Drommen: Leprechauns are actually green?
Patrick:(stares) Don’ be sayin I’ve done it wrong.
Drommen: I think you’re only supposed to be wearing green.
Patrick: Oh for feck’s sake. I said it to me mam just o the mornin. Don’ be puttin the face paint on me but the aul cow…
Drommen: I’m sure it’ll wash off.
Patrick: No, I don think so.
Drommen: What makes you say that?
Patrick: Well ye see, me mam has this stuff. An she says its simple enough to make, but it’s a bugger to get off. I’ll just have to go back home and tell her.
Drommen: Tell her what?
Patrick: Why, it might no be difficult to make the stuff, but it’s no easy bein green.
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