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Tag Archives: Humor


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One-Liner Wednesday & #JusJoJan Daily Prompt – January 3rd, 2018

2018 is off to a rocky start: I’ve been so lazy, my Fitbit is threatening to walk back to the store and return itself.

In other news, trips down memory lane should never be this cold.

Here are the general rules to follow for Just Jot it January:

1. Just Jot It January starts January 1st, but it’s never too late to join in! Here, we run on the honour system; the “jot it” part of JusJoJan means that anything you jot down, anywhere (it doesn’t have to be a post, it can even be a grocery list) counts as a “Jot.” If it makes it to your blog that day, great! If it waits a week to get from a sticky note to your screen, no problem!

2. I’ll post the daily prompts at 2am my time (GMT -5), every day except for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness (SoCS) prompt–you’ll find that one on Friday morning at 9:30am. That daily post (i.e. this one) will be where you leave your link for others to find in the comment section. There will be a prompt for every day except Wednesday, when the prompt is simply my One-Liner Wednesday.

2a. Since today is Wednesday, I challenge you to make your JusJoJan post a one-liner. If you don’t care to, or if you’ve already written your post, no problem. Remember, with One-Liner Wednesday you can write anything – it’s only a prompt to write one line, not necessarily to keep to the same theme as mine. The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

(i) Make it one sentence.

(ii) Make it either funny or inspirational.

(iii) Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

(iv) Enjoy yourself!

(v) Use our One-Liner Wednesday badge.

3. As long as your blog is on WordPress, you’ll be able to link via pingback. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL from the daily prompt post, and paste it anywhere in your post. Check to make sure your link shows up where you want it to, and go back occasionally to see other bloggers’ entries – the more you visit others, the more they’ll visit you! If you’re participating from another blogging host, just drop a link into the comment section. Note: The newest pingbacks and comments will appear at the top.

4. Tag your post JusJoJan and/or #JusJoJan.

5. Write anything! Any length will do! It can even be a photo or a drawing – you’re going to title it, right? There’s your jot!

6. The prompts are here both to remind you and to inspire you to write. However, you don’t have to use the prompt word of the day. You can link any kind of jot back here. Note: If it’s 18+ content, please say so in a comment with your link or close to your pingback.

7. If you’d like to, use the JusJoJan badge so that others can find your post more easily.

8. Have fun!

To find the full list of daily prompts from now until the end of the month, click this link: https://lindaghill.com/2017/12/27/what-is-just-jot-it-january-2018-rules/ and scroll down to the bottom of the post.


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One-Liner Wednesday – Not a Fan of Christmas

For his third Christmas on earth, Winston decides this holiday isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

You’re not seriously planning to put this thing on my head.

This whole Christmas deal sucks.

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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion

 


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#SoCS – Yul log?

You’ll forgive me, won’t you? For missing my own prompt again? Though technically it is Sunday, it’s still Saturday to me because I haven’t gone to bed yet. It’s very very late Saturday night … so late, it’s Sunday morning. 😛

I’ll have to forgive myself, actually, for making the mistake of trying to find a picture of Yul Brynner tied up so that I could say Yul tied … because what I got instead was to be treated to a photo of a young Yul Brynner with no clothes on. Full frontal. So for my efforts to find a festive Yul tied, I ended up with a Yul log … errr … okay, a Yul average-size stick? Umm … did you know Yul Brynner was a brunette? Neither did I, until today.

So, where was I? Oh yes. I was busy today. I think I’ve finished my Christmas shopping, apart from the food. And most of that is done, too. Turkey’s thawing, veggies are bought, as are the potatoes and all the other stuff … yes, the stuff-ing too. So I’ll be able to mow down on a nice drumstick on Christmas … aaaand, I just got a flashback of good ol’ Yul. NO, I am not buying a Yule log for dessert this year!

Oh dear, can you tell I’m tired? No, I’m not drunk. But I do have to put the white wine in the fridge – thanks for reminding me.

And on that note, I’ll wish everyone a lovely Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, and a wonderful holiday all ’round.

Now you can go Google Yul Brynner naked.

Cheers!

This silly post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find all the other entries in the comments! https://lindaghill.com/2017/12/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-23-17/


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One-Liner Wednesday – So, how was your evening?

This pretty much sums up my yesterday evening:

How was yours?

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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion


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One-Liner Wednesday – Spoiling it All

I had “something stupid” written on the fridge but I needed an “s” for another word, so I ended up with this:

Now I have a song stuck in my head …

“And then I go and spoil it all
by saying something tepid like I like yoooou.”

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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion


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One-Liner Wednesday – A Best Friend’s Advice

Scene (true story): I’m sitting in the pantry, which is little more than a cupboard, to escape the bright sunlight streaming through the kitchen window. I’ve pulled the kitchen table, with my laptop on it, in with me. My best friend, John, walks into the kitchen.

Me: Yes, I know, I’m in the closet.

Him: You can come out. It’s the twenty-first century.

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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion


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#SoCS – Style

I’m not sure if I’ve ever had a style that one could cramp. As a teenager, I went by the general style of “get away with anything I can,” yet nothing in particular sticks out much. I didn’t smoke or do drugs, and by the time I started drinking, my mother had stopped. So the water in the booze to keep the level up went unnoticed. I think it might have ended up being so watered down that even I didn’t bother with it.

My style now amounts to being alone as much as possible so I can work. Oooh, I’m such a party animal in my old age. 😛 In fact nothing cramps my style any more as much as actual cramps do. And believe me, my walk has style for the first few minutes in the morning.

Now, just don’t get between me and my coffee. Or I’ll cramp your style.

*waves and limps off into the sunset*

This crampy post is brought to you by Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click to see all the other posts linked in the comments, and to join in too! https://lindaghill.com/2017/12/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-2-17/


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One-Liner Wednesday – Heretofore

Bread shall heretofore be referred to only as “raw toast.” That is all.

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If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, like Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

As with Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS), if you see a pingback from someone else in my comment section, click and have a read. It’s bound to be short and sweet.

Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

#1linerWeds badge by Dan Antion


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#SoCS – Why bother?

I spend so much time reading, editing, and (occasionally) writing fiction these days, I sometimes find myself narrating my movements around my house. Usually only in my head … usually. So I have to ask myself, why bother with ink? I do suppose it helps convey my narration to other people … but seriously, do you need to know I need to buy more toilet paper? My narration is incredibly interesting, as you can see.

Speaking of ink, I’ve recently discovered the joy of gel pens. Particularly Papermate InkJoy gel pens. They’re fantastic to write with. They make me want to write … well, pretty much anything. Shopping lists, permission slips to send my son off on field trips, notes about other people’s books … Hey! I should write a book of my own! Yeah, I should get on that.

I’m sitting here looking at my inky black cat. Why in heaven do we think of black when the word “inky” comes along? Ink comes in so many different colours now. We’re not living in an age where we have to use a feather to write with. And a pot of ink … can you imagine? Having to do that? Our computer screens would be a mess!!

Casper

On that note, I think it’s time to call it a day.

It’s a day!

This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click the link to find all the other posts in the comments. Read some, write one – it’s fun! https://lindaghill.com/2017/11/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-25-17/


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83. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Note: Strong language

Wednesday, November 22nd, 10:00am
Lacey and Kevin

 

Kevin: I’m real glad we live close.

Lacey: (sounding unenthusiastic) Yeah.

Kevin: And now that we work at the same place, we can take the bus together.

Lacey: Uh huh.

Kevin: I wasn’t surprised I got the job.

Lacey: Really.

Kevin: I won an award for selling the most shoes at the place I worked in, in Kingston.

Lacey: Uh huh.

Kevin: Kingston, Jamaica.

Lacey: You mentioned that yesterday.

Kevin: It was a lot different there. Spending time on the beach all day, playing volleyball …

Lacey: Uh huh.

Kevin: It was real nice there. And it never rained.

Lacey: Never?

Kevin: Well only at, like, 2am when no one was out sunbathing anyways.

Lacey: No shit.

Kevin: No shit. It was perfect.

Lacey: So why’d you move here?

Kevin: This guy gave me all this money and said if I wanted to keep it, I had to move to Canada.

Lacey stares at him.

Kevin: Seriously! I had to stash it in my house where no one would find it.

Lacey: Your house where you live with your mom.

Kevin: Yeah. I can’t exactly go around spendin’ it. People would wonder.

Lacey: Uh huh.

 

Next stop: Thursday, November 23rd, 5:00pm

Click here to learn all about this series, how it works, and where to find your favourite characters.